Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Help DD wants to stand up in her cot rather than go to sleep!

50 replies

gingerkirsty · 05/09/2010 21:44

Hi All

Some help would be really really appreciated this evening! My 6mo DD has mainly gone off to sleep with us rocking her up until recently (I know, I know Blush). She is starting with a childminder from Oct as I am starting back to work so I have been trying to put her down to go to sleep on her own - obviously the CM won't have time to rock her to sleep and i would rather she learned to go off on her own at home first rather than the hard way with the CM!

However, she is coming along very quickly movement wise, and this keeps interfering with her sleep.

First of all when she was thinking about crawling, every time she woke in the night she started rolling onto her front and assuming the crawling position, then getting upset as she didn't know what to do with herself.

Then she learned to crawl and kept wandering round her cot bumping her head rather than going to sleep.

Last week we had a bit of a breakthrough in that she woke up mid nap but put herself back to sleep on her front, which was a first, and since then I have had some success using shush patting with her on her front, and getting her to drop off that way.

However, this weekend she has worked out how to pull herself up to standing in her cot! I am very impressed with her, she is a clever girl and everything but she hasn't worked out how to get down again safely and keeps toppling over and bashing her head, which obviously causes her immense distress :(

We are now repeatedly trying to lie her down and doing shush patting but she is getting quite hysterical, and continually trying to roll over, get up, climb up the bars etc etc. I really don't want us to be fighting with her as she just gets more and more upset/enraged but I am not sure what else we can do, until the novelty of being able to move around so much has worn off?

Any other ideas?

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 05/09/2010 23:15

Bumping for any night birds - she finally went to sleep at half 8 this eve and was wide awake standing up again at half ten - I gave her her so called dream feed and she has now settled again. Erk. Fingers crossed she'll only wake up once in the night and not for 2 hours (2.30-4.30) like she did last night :(

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 10:34

Buuuummpppp! Have just put her down for a nap and ended up having to just leave her in her cot crying - me being in the room wasn't helping, laying her back down was just winding her up, so I left her, went back in when crying intensified and found she'd wedged herself into the corner of her cot - fished her out and lay her down with blanky and dummy, and she went straight to sleep. Am actually wondering if that might be the way forward... any opinions or suggestions please, i am feeling a bit lonely on this thread! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 10:34

bump trying to get into active!

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 10:34

not working....

OP posts:
mistressploppy · 06/09/2010 10:37

You poor thing, talking to yourself here all alone Grin

Mine did this a few weeks ago (at 9mo) and it was sorted in 2 nights with CC Blush but he is very obliging and only persisted for 5mins before lying down (turns out he COULD do it) and going to sleep.

Not a lot of help but couldn't leave you on your own! Hope someone else is along soon to help

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 12:05

thank you for taking pity on me!!!!! I guess CC might be the way forward, just because everything else seems to wind her up. Stupid question but i assume you do it for naps in the day not just at night?

OP posts:
mistressploppy · 06/09/2010 13:54

Not stupid at all - lots of people only do it at night, day sleep is so different, it's weird. But yes I did it for naps too, but only once as once he'd learnt it at bedtime I didn't need to do it - he'd go down for naps fine. Much easier at night as you've got lots of time. Maybe do that first?

I just cuddled him til sleepy, put him down and went out, even if he was getting up to standing as I left (and yelling). I waited 2mins then went in, laid him down, stroke head, soothing nonsense, (don't stay longer than 15secs, it's not fair if they think you're staying) then went out. Then stuck fingers in my ears for 4 mins Grin, and repeat, then 8mins, then 16mins. I never had to wait longer than 14mins for him to go to sleep. He gives up pretty quick Grin

Good luck, it's hard and I think it really depends on what kind of baby you've got, if she gets really upset you might not want to do it, lots of people don't approve but hey - worked for me and not much pain really

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 16:22

Hmm she does tend to get quite wound up but on the other hand she is getting wound up by us sitting with her etc in any case so I am quite up for the CC as a quick solution which will help her settle, rather than letting the sssh patting drag on and on. Will discuss with DH and decide what to do. I shall report back - thanks for your help :)

OP posts:
Pioneer · 06/09/2010 16:27

Totally agree with the CC - I did not look forward to this but it again worked in two nights with my DS - they learn quickly! You will wonder why you didn't do it sooner! Smile

Weegle · 06/09/2010 16:34

When DS (now 4) did this I just repeatedly went in and lay him down (no words or other attention). The first night I did it 96 times! Then a few nights later was fine - it's a different option to controlled crying but still infuriating! Now just about to go through this again with DT2 who has just finished the crawling in to cot bars bit and is just starting to pull up... oh joy... and then DT1 is just starting the getting stuck with crawling thing... so I sense a fun few weeks Grin

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 17:08

Good grief twins! Is it better or worse that they're not doing it at the same time?! Anyone with multiples is my hero :)

So if not doing CC for naps, you just do it at night and then do what for naps? I don't want to 'undo' the benefit of a nights CC by doing naps all wrong in the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 17:11

She is wailing again now, has only had 2x 40 min naps today so needs another one, but is absolutely beside herself in spite of being really tired. :(

OP posts:
Pioneer · 06/09/2010 17:20

I would do it for all sleeps TBH.

Is there any way you can keep her awake until maybe 6 and then just put her down for the night?

If she has a sleep now then there is no way she will be tired enough to go to bed at any reasonable hour.

Pioneer · 06/09/2010 17:24

Also, what is her sleep pattern in the day?

If she has 3 naps, maybe you could drop one, then give her a big sleep after lunch (2-3 hours), then no late afternoon nap and she might settle at bedtime?

Sorry if that's useless or not age appropriate advice - seems a long time since ds was that age and he's only 2!

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 17:33

sleep pattern, what's one of those? Wink

She is never consistent, I tried to do a 'proper' baby whisperer routine but her naps varied wildly and still do.

I do know though that 2 40 min naps aren't enough for her, but how to get her to sleep longer is a whole other thread!

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 19:26

OK so did as advised and kept her up, bath at half six and then bed. Did the CC, went in after the 8 mins session and laid her back down, came back out dreading going for 16 mins but she cried for a minute and then fell asleep :). So not as bad as it could have been. Will stick with it now. If she wakes in the night and won't go back off I guess I will have to do it again... which will be a much bigger challenge i imagine. Wish me luck :)

OP posts:
mistressploppy · 06/09/2010 19:31

Brilliant, well done you. For what it's worth, I did the Baby Whisperer thing and DS did 45min naps for aaaages, but now we are on a steady 2 naps and bedtime is 6.15!!! Seems to work.

Good luck, I hope you have a good night Smile

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 20:01

Thank you, you have really helped :)

OP posts:
dycey · 06/09/2010 20:32

poor you. I remember this - from about 7 months I could no longer rock/dance to sleep. He got so active and fought me. I ended up using the pushchair for the naps and at night sat beside him (but I was lucky that bedtime he never cried for more than 10 minutes and did not stand up).

Not much help was it?

Pioneer · 06/09/2010 20:48

Excellent - sounds like this could be a turning point for you! Smile

FWIW, my DS used to have 3 x 30 minute naps up until about 7/8 months, and then he miraculously started having a long post lunch sleep. I think it was when I stopped his morning nap.

Good luck in the night and come back on here if you need any further help Smile.

I love Mumsnet Grin.

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 06/09/2010 21:06

I am really hoping DD will do the same pioneer because she is off to the CM soon and nap time is officially 1pm!!! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerkirsty · 07/09/2010 08:39

Well, last night.... after DF at 11pm, she woke at about half 2. I fed her and put her back down, she then woke again at half 4 and I thought there was no way she was hungry, so we did the CC again. This time it took most of the 16 min stint for her to get off and lying in bed in the dark listening to her made it seem SOOOOOO much longer than when we put her to bed. Anyway, she then slept through til 8! I think she might not need a night feed now so I am considering not feeding her if she wakes around 2.30, on the basis that she might then sleep through - any thoughts?

OP posts:
EricNorthmansmistress · 07/09/2010 08:49

I did CC from about 6mo, not a magic bullet but it worked on the whole and DS now sleeps very well (2yo). I didn't do it with naps initially, always put him down in his pram and jiggled the pram til he fell asleep. I guess about 12mo I started putting him down for naps in his cot and using CC if necessary but it rarely was/is. I firmly believe that CC has a place and I don't think it's cruel to let a tired, fed, clean child cry for a bit. I have a very well (sleep) trained DS and am quite happy with the way we did it. Best of luck!

Pioneer · 07/09/2010 09:16

TBH I stopped all night feeds by about 5 months - including a dream feed.

So basically I would feed at 7pm and then not again until the morning.

Are you BF or FF? I know that BF babies tend to need more feeds, but no babies actually need fed in the night after 6 months - it's more of a habit thing.

Agree with Eric - if you know your child is clean, dry, fed and not ill, then it's not cruel to let them cry for a little while at 6 months

Original poster
gingerkirsty · 07/09/2010 11:55

BF, just formula for dream feed to attempt to fill her up. I am going to stick with the dream feed and try dropping the night feed I think - doesn't seem sensible/fair to drop both at once and she normally takes 6oz at her dream feed which is a significant amount.

Thanks eric - we can't put her down in pram for naps as we live in a second floor flat and keep it downstairs! So will continue CC with naps - although this morn we popped out, popped home again, she was tired and crying so I stuck her in her car seat as we were going straight back out, and she just fell asleep, no rocking or anything - so maybe yesterdays sessions have started to take effect! Will see how afternoon nap goes.

I don't have a problem with CC in principle, esp bearing in mind that DD has been getting hysterical with us doing other stuff - the CC gets her off to sleep more quickly and less painfully in the short term anyway, and hopefully by the end of the week we might have a baby who goes happily down to sleep on her own and even sleeps through! Which would obviously be much better for all concerned.

OP posts: