18 mth old suddenly screaming when put down for bed

[SaraL77]

My DS is normally a very good sleeper, goes down without a grumble most nights, but recently has started really crying when put down at night and I don't know what's causing it. He was really screaming tonight, for 50 minutes! Did the controlled crying thing (something I haven't had to do since he was about 6 months old) but it didn't seem to help, he must have finally cried himself to sleep, I was beside myself with what to do-it's so upsetting seeing them so fraught and upset.

last night he woke when we were going to bed, I tried staying in his room for ages but it didn't help as he cried as soon as I tried to leave.

the only thing that has changed lately is him moving up to the next room at nursery (with the bigger kids) although he's not outwardly stressed about it during the day, could it be some stress manifesting itself at night?

anyone got any ideas of how to deal with this screaming??

Get his ears checked. Classic sign of ear infection is screaming when horizontal and being ok when upright. Does he seem unwell at all?

Think it's quite common at this age - dd did it too. We did gradual withdrawal again with her - stay by bed until sound asleep first night, then a bit further away, again til sound asleep next night etc etc until you're outside the door. Explain what you're going to do, maybe buy a new bedtime book to use every night (we got the Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton) - only took about a week with dd, was painless and worked. Listen to radio on earphones or read book with booklight so you don't get frustrated.

3littlefrogs well I've checked his temparature and it's fine, and he is fine during the day, did end up giving him calpol last night as wasn't sure if he was in pain. Will monitor and see if it could be his ears.

Habibu well I kind of tried that last night, staying there till he was really drowsy then slowly sneaking out, but he saw me and started crying. I'm just a bit reluctant to stay till he's asleep as he may get used to me being there when he drifts off which could possibly cause fresh problems? Also DH is a believer of controlled crying and thinks I'm just depriving myself of sleep staying with him too long (I'm 5 months pregnant) But I also do think the gradual withdrawl is a gentler approach than CC. Maybe I'll try it- thanks.

No, you need to stay until he's asleep, but then sit further away, so he sees you're not next to him, iyswim. It's just giving him the extra reassurance he needs, and tbh, if you're pg, you're going to need to give him a little slack when the baby comes anyway. A bit of extra comfort and reassurance now, gradually reduced over a few days, will go a long way.

The trick to GW is the sitting further away each time - that's what makes them not rely on you always being there. I'm not a CC fan, though, so can't help with DH. DD is a fantastic sleeper now, just fab, and we achieved this quite quickly from a terrible patch with GW.

Made no sense there - you stay till asleep, but then the next night sit further away. Sneaking out exacerbates anxiety if they catch you - what you're aiming for is getting back to going to sleep alone and contented and not anxious.