What time should a two month old go to bed?

[Athrawes]

My boy is nearly 8 weeks. From 4pm today until now, 8pm he has been fussing feeding screaming sleeping on the boob and refusing to sleep in his bed. The past few nights suggest he may go down by ten. What should he be doing - other people talk of "putting the baby to bed at six" as if it's a reasonable expectation. I'd love him to go to bed, wake or be woken for a 10pm top up and sleep until his 4am night feed. But the evenings are this horrid mess of being unable to get him to bed.

Whatever time you like

I used to keep mine awake as late as possible as babies to get as much sleep as possible for me. They soon fit into a bedtime routine when they're older - by the time mine were at school they were exhausted at 6pm. Rigid routines don't help much in my experience - but others will tell you differently!

Just enjoy your baby and don't stress about what you should and shouldn't be doing.

Mine are 15 and 16 now!

At that age mine were in a moses basket and I took them up to bed when I went up. We just kept the baby wherever we were in the first few months.

Whatever works for you. I've always cuddled my babies until we've gone to bed until they're happy to sleep in their own beds.

I agree with the whatever works for you method! We used to start DS's bedtime routine around 9pm, once we'd had dinner etc. We once tried to "force" an earlier bedtime of 7.30pm on him, and it was disastrous! Instead, we continued with our 9pm routine (usually asleep around 10pm) until little by little, he started fussing to go to bed earlier. Within the space of 2 weeks we were down to about 8pm (at 10/11 weeks), and at around 16 weeks this was down to about 7pm. We now start his bedtime routine at 6.45pm (DS is 5 months), and he's usually out for the count by 7.30pm.

Plenty of people I know though put their babies down to bed later though. A friend of mine used to put her 15 week old down at 10pm. DS would never make it that late. But, it's completely dependent on your baby. I really don't think there's a "one size fits all" solution.

I wondered this, too - my 8 week old goes to sleep typically about 11 - midnight. she will then sleep through to about 9am though. Last night she went to sleep at about 10:30 but woke up a bit earlier and needed more feeds in the night. We just take her upstairs with us.

At that age, whatever works for you, to be honest - he's still very young and finding his own rhythm.

However... with our newborn we always took her upstairs, settled her with milk and put her into her moses basket in a darkened room at 7pm like clockwork and treated all wakings thereafter as night-time wakings. This meant that all wakings after 7pm were handled quietly and in dimmed lighting (even feeds). Any wakings from 7am were treated as daytime - so downstairs, lights on or curtains drawn and general family noise. We did this because a) we wanted to established a 7pm bedtime from the outset and b) my DH and I love routines. It worked for us because she started sleeping through the night from 12 weeks and has always slept well but this technique suited us as a family - it may not suit you or your baby.

Every baby and parent is different.

Oh, and to add, my DD fussed alot with colic and reflex in the early evening as a newborn so 7pm bedtimes were 9 times out of 10 not achieved. But we always let her fuss (in our arms or one of us soothing her) upstairs in dimmed lighting and quiet. Eventually (around 8-10 weeks) the evening fussing diminished.

Hang in there. At 4 weeks, your baby will continue to fuss in the evenings - it's normal :-)

I am confused by the people who say they "put the baby to bed at ... o'clock" because if you put mine in bed any time other than when he has fed himself to sleep he goes nuts! I have a purple faced thrashing furious monster in a basket. How do you settle that?

for me since DD was 5 weeks we have done bath, BF and bed but yes the BF almost always was fed to sleep!! Now at 19 weeks we are trying to put her in cot a bit more awake but to be honest if she always still fed to sleep i would do it, its easier and it works!!

then we would put her upstairs in moses basket and until she was 13 weeks she slept amazingly well for 6-8 hours. Up to 5 weeks we kept her with us wherever we were, sometimes just cuddling on sofa watching corrie ;)

What juuule said - mine would stay up til I went to bed! I didn't really introduce a routine until they had dropped the night feeds.

They are 7, 5 and 3 and have a good bedtime routine so no damage done!

Put them to bed whenever you like and whatever works for them.

But if they're awake for more than 1.5 - 2 hours at that age, they will be overtired and find it difficult to go to sleep. That could be the problem. I'd try rocking/feeding/whatever to sleep an hour and a quarter or so after he last woke up. He doesn't have to be 'in bed' - the advice is that till 6 months they sleep in the same room as you anyway.

We had a 'bedtime routine' from about 3 months at whatever time DS wanted to sleep which was round about my bedtime - the time varied wildly. The 'routine' was to change his nappy in a dim room rather than the light, and feed him in the dark. We tried the whole bath etc but he just got overtired and screamy.

It's also normal for young babies not to properly sleep in the evening and just cluster feed on and off for what might be hours. Don't worry - it does pass - and just keep feeding every time he's giving hunger cues.

Many babies will naturally want to go to sleep for the night quite late at first, but it then becomes earlier - often around 4 months (later in babies who have colic). This is because it takes a while for their biological clocks to mature.

Day & night organisation only really gets going for many babies around 6-8 weeks so you're only at the very start of this. Give it another month or two and you'll find it's completely different. :)

And what I've read suggests that it's only from 3-4 months that babies are able to start to remember things like routines, ie that after bath comes bed. IMO it's not until around 5-6 months that the bedtime routine becomes really useful for baby knowing that they're supposed to go to sleep then. Of course, there's nothing wrong with starting one now if it helps you, but if it doesn't, try again at some point in the future if you want to.

I'm another one who would just take them to bed with me at that age (we co-sleep anyway).
With DS1 I tried 'outting hime to bed' at a certain time but his natural bedtime was much later. Life became a lot easier when I relaxedand just went with him rhythms and accepted that he needed to be hald lots.