19th month old who has never slept through. Cant do CC (long post, sorry)

[pookstermum]

Hope someone can help. Have 19 mth old DD, who is very easy, apart from she wont sleep unless she is b/f to sleep or almost to sleep, she wakes at least once, usually about four am, and then every 2 hrs after that, although some nights she will be awake every two hours during the night. Has a strict bed routine, and has done since a few months old. Bath at 7pm in bed by 8pm. (DP not home till this time)But I cant leave her to go to sleep on her own. I b/f her in the night when she wakes, although sometimes can "get away" with just giving her a hug. I am getting to the end of my tether. Although I am lucky that she will always sleep in until 7.30/ 8.00am without too much trouble. Cant/wont do controlled crying, have Skids in the house and CC is not really for me. Is there any other ways of getting her to sleep for longer or at least to settle herself at night. Hoping you can help.

You could try the Pick Up /Put Down Method by Tracy Hogg (The baby Whisperer). There are some thread on it. I have not had that much success with it but have had some. I'll try and find thread for you.

thread

Have a look at the second to last post. This convinced me to give it a go.

sympathies, it's torture isnt it

ALthough I am not one to talk having both ds-s not sleeping through til nearly 22 months, I would say you need to get dp on the case, get him to go in there and get her to drop the feeds one at a time over two or three days each. she will drop the las two at once but IME it's better to go slowly and not expect too much, that way every little step is a bonus

Be strong and don't give in once you start

My dd is 18 months and has only slept through a couple times, she does go to to sleep on her own after having milk. She wakes once or twice in the night. Last night she slept through after 5 days of giving her phenergen which the doctor gave her, this made her sleep through and i think has set a routine and she is now sleeping through on her own. We have also cut her nap time down in the day from 3 hours to 1 1/2 hours. Hopefuly we have cracked it.

wow, thanks for all the help so soon. It is nice to hear that it is not just me that is having this problem. The PUPD method looks intresting, not heard of it before, so will look at getting a copy from Amazon. She is such a good girl in all other areas, but she does lead her mummy a merry dance when it comes to sleep. It dosen't help that DP other two were model sleepers, so there is an element of "it must be you"! from him. The problem with DP going in is she just screams and screams, wakes up the other two 15 and 13, who are then NOT impressed, which adds to my stress, which is partly why I have created this rod for my back. She will however settle for him if I am out for the evening, he gives her a cows milk bottle. She will also "ask" to go to bed if anyone is babysitting her!

Pookester mum, i can not offer any sleep advice as my dd is 4.5 and although she goes to sleep on her own, still wakes a few times a night, everynight! I will say I know how tired you must be and its hard as it has an impact on things you do in the daytime. One thing i have found successful is I have music on in my dd's room, always have done. I used toput it on for her when she first went in her cot and if she wakes in the night i put it on again v quiet. Just to break the silence i suppose. xx

sorry forgot to say have tried just getting her to sleep for one lunchtime nap, but she is usually too cranky by midday that she wont eat lunch. So she tends to sleep at 10ish when I take the dog out (DD in buggy) and then after lunch if we are out in the car. So she gets approx two hours of sleep during the day. Do you thibk this is too much. Would love to stop the "having to go out" to get her to sleep.

Poor you Nixz, how have you managed for so long? One of the Skids is in the next room to her and he is not the best at keeping the noise down during the evening! But that dosen't explain her night waking.Do you use the same piece of music? As you may hace gussed she is asleep at the moment,hence my posting!

You could try giving her a shorter nap but 2 hours sounds reasonable. I used to have to get dd to sleep in the car, sometimes she will only fall asleep on my bed. Will she go to sleep if you stay by her cot? I used to stay by dd till she was asleep, each day i moved further away until i wasnt in her room. I couldnt do CC as dd would make herself sick.

Its just nursery rhymes and lullabies on a cd,i have had this one for about 2 years. She is not as bad as what she used to be though and is older so i can reason with her a bit, not that she takes much notice! She talks and rows with her pals in her sleep aswell, and used to get up and pack a bag every night!!!!!!!!!
Try some soft music at night, just so she feels like she isnt alone in the house. Good luck, you will either get used to it or she will start to sleep better but i think other mums may be able to offer some better advice than i can!! I can get up and settle her without actually opening my eyes now!!!

My son is 2.5 years old and still doesn't sleep through. We have coped by having him in bed with us in the latter part of the night (he comes in after waking up for the first time). I just try to breastfeed him while still half asleep and go to bed early. I do have periods of finding it hard to cope, but it does get easier, and I can now see that one day he will sleep through and I will probably miss the cuddles at 4 am.

Have you read "Mothering your nursing toddler", available from La Leche League? Very supportive book giving you a different viewpoint and maybe some new ideas. A visit / call to your local LLL group might help as well - you would meet lots of other tired mothers of breastfeeding toddlers. "This too will pass" - and I hope you get some more rest very soon.

Forgot to add this link:

changing the sleep pattern of breastfed toddlers

Have not tried it myself but seemed to me like a very gentle way to make a change. Good luck if you try it.

Thank you for the links and the messages of support. Changing the sleep pattern.. link made lots of sense, but what has really helped is the feeling I am not alone. I do bring DD into bed after 5am if she won't settle, I used to bring her into bed once she woke, but found all she did was snack. It is easy to think that every other baby is sleeping 7-7, and my HV said CC, so I didn't mention it at her 18mth check.

Not many HVs are sympathetic to the ways of breastfed toddlers, I find! Do try your local LLL leader for support and advice if you want someone more enlightened. Dr. Sears books are also reassuring to know you are not a bad parent for rocking / feeding your child to sleep. I agree it is important to feel you are not the only one.

that's a great article. It's very in-tune with what I would like to do. People are very, very reluctant to believe that BF babies need night-time food until they are a year old.