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Sleep

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Original poster

Horrendous sleeper....HELP!!!!

14 replies

CheekyGirl · 30/08/2005 21:58

My dd is 4 and ds is 8mths.

Ds has been an appalling sleeper since birth. He has never ever slept longer that 2.5hrs without waking.

He suffered from reflux, but I think he's growing out of that now. This is probably how the problems originated though.

I feel so sorry for my dd as I spend about half an hour in a darkened room twice a day trying to bf him and get him down for a nap. (he will only bf if rocked to sleep with dummy first - has been like this since 3mths old. Again, probably a legacy of reflux). Then, he will often wake after a few mins or so and it will take another half hour or so of rocking to get him back to sleep. If he doesn't go back to sleep, he will be totally foul for the rest of the day, really crabby and overtired.

At night, he wakes roughly every 1 to 2 hrs. Sometimes he will settle with a bf, sometimes with dummy, often he will cry and need to be rocked, paced around, in bed with us....it's totally unpredictable what will work.

Dh and I are completely exhausted. I know I need to do something, but I had really hoped not to give up bf yet. Since he will only bf when I've rocked him to sleep, if we do some sort of gentle sleep training, surely the bf will have to stop too. The old 'suck to sleep' prop thing....

Any ideas? I don't feel I am being a good parent to either dd or ds.

OP posts:

ess · 30/08/2005 22:22

Im sure you are cheekygirl. My dd had reflux too(still on gaviscon at 7mo). We got into some bad sleep habits too but its whatever works at the time isnt it?! We've just started gentle sleep training and I have to say it has made a difference. We take her into her room when shes tired, sit in the chair with dim room and have cuddle with a relaxing CD on, when she looks like shes nodding off I put her in cot before she falls asleep. I give her a kiss, put dummy in and leave room for 5-10 minutes. I keep going in and patting back/stroke her head. If she gets really upset I take her out and cuddle her til shes calm then try again. Its very laborious and frustrating at first but only took 20 minutes tonight!We've been doing it for a week and she's slept through the night twice for the first time ever!Hope this helps.

bakedpotato · 30/08/2005 22:27

Wow, no wonder you're knackered. Sounds like he has some bad sleep habits, which could be broken relatively easily. The b/f sounds like a red herring to me; I don't see why you'd have to give it up. He just has to learn to go to sleep without props.

Have you looked at Dr Ferber's 'Solve your Child's Sleep Problem'? It's full of clear, sympathetic, practical advice.

Nadene · 30/08/2005 23:17

Cheekygirl - I developed some bad habits with my baby girl as well and then got to the end of my tether and did some controlled crying. You should try it. It really wasn't as bad as I thought. She responded really well and now I am over the moon with our sleeping arrangements/patterns. She only cried for half an hour the first night and the next night it was about 2 hours but that was on and off and it wasn't a distressing cry, just cranky and overtired. She now sleeps a lot longer because I always put her down to sleep while she's still awake. I never thought in a million years that she would go to sleep on her own without the props we had at first established. But she has really surprised me by what she has achieved. Sounds like your little one also might be overtired. Letting him cry himself to sleep for a couple of nights won't hurt and will probably do the world of good. I did it on doctors orders who did it to his 3 kids! He is an expert on positive parenting, so I took his advice and I am very happy I did. Good luck.

Original poster

CheekyGirl · 31/08/2005 09:39

Thanks!

ess, I'm going to try your idea, I think, as it sounds quite gentle. I did cc with my dd and it was heart rending. I don't really want to do it again.

It's nice to know I'm not alone!!

OP posts:

Original poster

CheekyGirl · 31/08/2005 13:46

Any more ideas out there??? please?!!

OP posts:

AllieM · 31/08/2005 13:57

My ds is nearly 15 weeks and went through a really bad time earlier on with going to sleep. I don't have experience of reflux I'm afraid, but mine did have colic and it gave us hell for quite a while in the evenings. Consequentially he is quite sensitive about going to sleep, and gets very easily over tired and yells, goes stiff etc.! Letting him yell a bit then going and reassuring him can work, as can giving him something to sleep with. I was very wary of this at first, but I bought a velvety rabbit thing which is useable from birth, just flat material really with knotted bits for the paws, which I slept with for a few nights to smell of me. When I put him down I drape it over his shoulder and he puts his arm round it and cuddles it as he sucks his thumb, and I think he finds it comforting, it smells right, and it distracts him from the fact I've just put him down. Doesn't always work, but often!

I also tried cranial osteopathy for the colic and it seemed to work quite well.

Good luck - and none of us are bad mothers, we're all doing our best and that's just fine!

Original poster

CheekyGirl · 31/08/2005 19:48

Allie, did you get the rabbit comforter from jojomamanbebe, as it sounds very similar to one I've just bought for ds!

OP posts:

ess · 31/08/2005 23:18

Hope things get better for you soon cheekygirl. DD slept through the night again so somethings working!

Original poster

CheekyGirl · 01/09/2005 09:35

Ess, we are going to do what you did, it's decided. Would you be able to tell me in great detail exactly what you did, and how your dd responded? It would be great if you could spare the time!

OP posts:

dejags · 01/09/2005 09:45

Cheekygirl are you certain the reflux has gone - DS2 was had reflux as a baby - he puked for 6 months and it drove us nuts. It finally stopped but his sleep didn't improve. I was so desparate with his poor sleep habits that when he went into hospital for an op when he was 8 months old I asked the ENT surgeon to do a scope and to check if the reflux was still there but "hidden". It was - there was quite a lot of damage/burns from the acid, he is now on long term medication to stop the reflux and sleeping beautifully (with no sleep training at all).

Just a suggestion?

ess · 01/09/2005 09:45

Hi cheekygirl. This is what we did- started with nighttime first, rest of naps we took her for walks or drive. We bathed her, got her in babygrow, fed her in nursery with lights dim. If she was still awake we would read stories for a while, if really tired we would start:- cuddled her on my lap with dummy in and put a relaxing CD on that we knew she liked9 piano music). When she was nodding off-starting to close eyes- we put her in her cot and patted/stroked her back(whatever yours likes). We then left room for 5 minutes. Went back in and 'sshd- patted back until she was calm again-laft room for 5 minutes. If after 10 minutes she wasnt looking like going to sleep we would pick her up and sit and cuddle her again then put her in cot when sleepy. The first night this took an hour!Its quite difficult not to get frustrated but woth percevering with. Next night took 20 minutes. Once shed done it a few nights I then did it with naps-morning and afternoon. It now takes 10-20 minutes. Really hope this works for you. Also found it was best if one person did it whole evening. When she woke in night to start with we still tried to resettle her but brought her in bed with us if she didnt- main thing was getting her to sleep on her own. Luckily this hasnt happened for 3 nights- fingers xd! Let me know if you want any advice or support- good luck.

ess · 01/09/2005 09:48

Just had another thought- may be worth asking GP for some Gaviscon for ds- my dd was much better after this. Shed never been sick with reflux just neat acid coming up and down. Shes been on it 4 months and they say its safe with no side effects.Does you ds fuss and wriggle when youre bf him?Does he seem uncomfortable after or sometimes cry all of a sudden as if in pain?

AllieM · 01/09/2005 09:58

Cheekygirl, I got the rabbit from a small independant shop but I think they are stocked all over the place - the brand is Kaloo - they do all sorts of snuggly things. It came in a very smart flat round presentation box. I think there are lots of similar things around, I actually quite enjoyed sleeping with it as it was lovely and cuddly!

By the way, expanding on what Ess just said, I think Gaviscon could well be worth trying - I have a friend who's baby is constantly sick and has used Gaviscon to try and combat it. It's helped, and after the baby initially threw it all up again he got used to it.

jambot · 01/09/2005 11:59

I was prescribed a drug called Losec for my dd. This neutralises the acid apparently. It worked very well for her and now luckily at 6 months she has outgrown the reflux. Also try raising his mattress at the head so that he doesn't sleep totally flat. If the acid is bothering him, this should help a bit.

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