Dream child turned demon after holiday - Long one.

[OuiOui]

We're at our wits end. DD, 4 in October, and ds just turned 2, share a bedroom and are very happy together. - or I should say, they WERE.
Up until 3 weeks ago, they used to run into the bedroom shout night night and go to sleep by themselves - no dramas! We considered ourselves very lucky.
We live in Asia and went back to Europe for a 2 week holiday. DD was very upset as she had to meet so many new people and everyone speaking a foreign language which she didn't understand. However she was sleeping great - we all shared a room.
next stage of the trip she shared a room with her brother and we were at my parents in the Uk. she was very happy to have her own grown up bed and slept very well. same for the last few days in london, at a friends house. Loved having her own bed and sleeping in with her brother.

So what's gone wrong? Since getting back she now refuses to sleep in her bed. It's not jet lag as she will readily sleep if allowed into our bed. She's become so obstinate that she will rather fall asleep on the sofa but still denying she's tired.
We've had to put her into the spare bedroom as she has been screaming (sounds like we're torturing her) and screaming. shouting that her "life is so bad!" - it is laughable really except we don't find it very funny.
No negotiation will work. She shuts down all expressions and just screams and shouts at us.

She's but her nap which is fine as she doesn'y seem tired.

We've got her a light, opened her door and last night was the first night we had only a little fight - she's tired and not getting enough sleep. However she consistently wakes at 230 am and screams and screams. Last night dh managed to calm her down and we all went back to sleep. However I woke around 0630am and saw her sleeping on our floor!!!

we left her there and she told me this morning that it was not uncomfortable.
We do still have her cot bad if we want her to stay in a bed but I feel that we need to solve the overall sleep issue.

We are hoping that she will grow out of this and find that the floor is just too uncomfortable - however I'm not banking on it. She won't take to bribes of pretty bedding etc

Mustn't forget to add, she's just started her new school so obviously lots of change and insecurities at the moment...

what is this about? any ideas?

silly question but does she have a normal bed at home? its just you said that she loved having her own bed on the holiday?
Maybe she doesnt want to feel she is going backwards. maybe she felt grown up in what ever sort of bed it was on holiday?
If i have read it wrong i am sorry.

OuiOui, I'm not sure you're going to like my contribution .... but if I were you I'd just consider myself being lucky so far!

But then, we've never done the sleeping thing well. To get that far would have been a major achievement for us!

thanks for the comments. no it's not a bed thing. it's quite clear she wants mummy and daddy's bed and absolutely nothing else will do.
last night was the pits. She woke screaming at 3am. turned on all the lights in her bedroom and the living room, tried to crawl into our bedroom. no reasoning at all. I put her into the cot bed and closed the door and she almost screamed the whole apt block down, climbed out and switched all the lights on again.

she kept saying she couldn't sleep but I know that if we lay down with her then she would fall asleep - i honestly don't believe that it's jetlag. It seems like insecurity/separation from us. she then had tummy ache and had a pooh (I think brought on by her grief and anger). She won't even just leave us on peace if I leave the lights on and tell her to just play by herself in the room. she continued like this until 7am at which point she had to get up for school.

obviously she had then a tired day at school - new school so bad start.

she fell asleep in the car on the way home all the way proclaiming that she wasn't tired and let her have a nap on the cushions in the living room - she happily complied

we've decided that she's not going to give and there's absolutely nothing which will calm her in the early hours . one of us is going to sleep down with her for the next while unti8l she's seems to be a happy child again - at least then she can have better days at school...

any better advice gretaly appreciated.

You may find this suggestion completely unhelpful, but have you considered just going with what she wants for a while and letting her sleep in your bed till she gets over this? I know a lot of people feel this is plain "wrong" and you will never get het out, but a lot of families do find it works for them and it would almost certainly solve your current problems, which sound completely horrible for all of you! It doesn't harm children or make them clingy, it provides them with the security to grow up at their own pace and they do all leave the family bed at some stage.

I do understand if you don't want to consider it, but thought it might be helpful to hear someone 'giving you permission' to try it as you might secretly be wanting to!

Sorry - should read get "her" out not "het".

agree with franny

I'd let her sleep with you for a few weeks then start moving her into her own bed

yep agree with last comments.
I explained to her last night that she could keep the bright lights on to go to sleep the either myself or dh would go in later.
She went calmly to bed by herself in the spare bedroom - double bed. then dh went in to sleep with her during the night.
She had a great night and then had a great day at school.

definitely worked. we will continue for awhile and see ...

Oh good! I often find as soon as I get in absolute despair about a situation and ask people for advice, the situation vanishes. Hope this will happen for you.