4 months old that fight sleep (cry uncontrollably even when held))

[EmJohn]

HELP!!! My 4 months old daughter gets extremely distressed when she realizes that we are putting her to sleep - nap and night. She screams and cries uncontrollably even when we hold her. Tonight she was so distressed for 30 mins, she was sweating all over. Nap times are worse - she screams away, and prevents me from sitting anywhere that could be used for her to nap on (our bedroom, spare bedroom, on the sofa) - she can hardly stay asleep for over 15 mins, and typically cries as soon as she wakes up - even if I'm right there touching her stomach, stroking her head, and doing everything to try to console her. We now have a bedtime routine, which goes well until the moment she realizes that she's being put to sleep at which point she starts fighting with all her energy - until finally she gives in and falls asleep. It is so distressing to see her like that. It seems to be getting worse as she gets older. Any suggestions?

Has she always been like this or has just happened recently? If so, Google 4 month sleep regression.

Basically babies go through big developmental phases every so often when their brains are developing so much it messes with their sleep (We are currently experiencing the 9 month regression, I'm sorry to say it is worse than the 4 mth one).

My DD did the same and would scream before bed/nap time. I fed or cuddled her to sleep and if she woke when she went in her crib, I had to lean over her and pin her down and stroke her head until she went back to sleep. She did cry but only for a few minutes.

Good news - it passes (about a week for us)

Bad news - it can take a lot longer and may merge with the 6 month regression

Hang in there - it will pass.

My 5mo DS has always been the same with daytime naps being particularly bad. I would rock to sleep but this could include 30-40 mins of crying in my arms, then put him in the cot, he'd wake up, resettle a couple of times then he'd finally sleep for about 40mins and wake up crying as still tired but would never go back to sleep.

I felt like every day was becoming a battle so, last week, took big decision to start CC to see if that would help. Results have stunned me tbh - this morning he only took 5mins of light grumbling before falling asleep. The length of naps hasn't changed but he is def getting better at self-settling (slept through for the last 4 nights which was always a bit hit and miss previously) so I'm hopeful he'll start napping for longer soon.

I won't lie, the first time we did CC was horrid and I felt awful, I really think the pro outweighs the con. DS is much happier in the day and I don't feel like I'm doing battle with him anymore.

I don't want to take over your thread with a discussion of CC, I just wanted to give my experience.

I have been having a similar problem with my DD (almost 5 months old) - she started fighting EVERY nap (including previous sure fire winners like car seat and pram naps, let alone those in the cot!!), and I mean really screaming.

So in the end, like Mull, I did a version of controlled crying and it has also given results very quickly in that she now settles herself very well, and if she doesn't settle within a couple of minutes I know there is a problem, which at the moment is usually wind. [Trapped Wind seems to have suddenly become much more of an issue than previously for us...]

Today managed a 1 hour and a 2 hour nap with very little crying once all wind was dealt with.

Thanks all for your feedback. It's good to know that I'm not alone and that there's a name for it (didn't know about regressions). I'll see how she gets on for the next week, and hope that it'll pass.

In order for her to get a proper afternoon nap, I was thinking about tricking her and doing a whole night time routine (bath and all) and use black out curtains... has anybody tried this?

Just wanted t say, DD is 19 weeks, and sounds exactly like your DD - I was at the end of my tether, we also had a lot of waking at night...however, a week or so on, we are now in the position where she is soothing herself to sleep - if someone had told me that, even a week ago, I wouldn't have believed them. One day, she was just playing on her playmat, chuntered a bit, went into her and she was already asleep. In fact now, it seems if I do the rocking, or holding, it annoys her even more, she just likes to have a little moan, and then sucks her thumb until she sleeps.

I actually dont think anything we did made this happen, for what it's worth this is what we did do, consistently, from day one:

Dark and quiet at night, no nappy changes, no talking
music that she has when I feed her at night.
Bath and quiet feed upstairs, to let her wind down.
wouls get her ready for sleep as soon as she had been awake for about 1hr 30 mins - just by sitting quietly, or putting her in rocking chair with blanket over her

I havent tried the 'tricking' routine, but do pull the black out curtains and keep it quiet for naps if we are at home, especially did this when it was really bad, would feed her to sleep on our bed and then leave her to sleep there.

Good luck, but really, I kind of look back and think - did anything I did help? or would she just have got there on her own anyway?

Hi all,
Just to let you know that the worse seems to be over. Still struggle with naps but night times are a lot better now. Didn't do anything special so must be the 17 wk regression! Thanks for all your advice.