Crabby 9 week old not sleeping during the day

[Rosmum]

My son is 9 weeks old and for his first 6 weeks was no problem, feeding (breast) and sleeping as he saw fit. However for the past 3 weeks, apart from a short nap of 40 mins about an hour after he wakes he will only sleep if being held in my arms, or being pushed in his pram. This sleep is not deep and only lasts for maybe 20 minute intervals at a time.

He is a big baby (14lb) and is putting on weight well, at around 10ozs a week. The problem is that he is not well rested and is crabby during the day. This is now affecting his feeding, when he cries but seems too tired to breastfeed. Now I have started to express my milk in the afternoon and evening as he appears to be hungry but is so overtired that he gets distressed and doesn't feed well. I at least know that he is having a feed and this is not preventing him from sleeping.

I have tried swaddling him, rocking him, etc but again have only managed to get him to sleep for about 20 minutes at a time. The result is that I seem to spend the majority of my day holding or walking around with him in an effort to get him to sleep or to stop him crying when he is so overtired. I attempted Gina Fords routines but found he would not sleep at all on them and I would not be keen to leave him to cry at his age.

His nightime routine is good in that he has a bath, bottle of expressed milk and settles well from about 7.30pm. He wakes through the night for feeds, but for the past 3 nights has only been fed once at 4.30am. I wake him up at 7.30am as I have to start the day at that time with my other child.

Has anyone had any similar problems, and if so can they advise what they did to solve this. My 3 year old is beginning to get resentful of the time taken up by the new arrival, and I am beginning to get backache carrying him around at times.

Also will expressing my milk 3 times a day make it dry up? I normally manage to give the first 2 feeds and the middle of the night feeds by breast and then express the other 3 (about 6 ozs each).

Thanks

No solutions Rosmum - just sympathy. My dd is 12 weeks and just the same. Most books seem to concentrate on night-time and like yours she (often) settles and sleeps well at night but the days are a different matter.

I was finding that if I spot when she first becomes tired (rubbing eyes, yawning etc) and try to get her to sleep then there's more chance - but it's a short wimdow of opportunity, and I do try to put her in our bedroom (where she sleeps during the night) but to b honest it's hit or miss and the last few days she's been so whingy!

I'll be looking closely on to see if you get any solutions

Have you tried white noise ( washing machine etc... ), it works with my 9 week old or carrying him in a sling to help settle him.

Hi,

You have my sympathy I have a 5 month old baby who apart from the odd time will only sleep if held close during the day. I have the following tips, but I stress its just what worked for me.

I use a baby carrier or sling whenever we go somewhere and around the house if ds is being "fussy". My mum laughed until I pointed out all the other mum's in the shopping centre who were having the push the pram and hold a screaming baby, whereas I had both hands free. If ds gets overstimulated or overwhelmed he can turn his head into my chest and go to sleep. If he's enjoying the trip he just looks around with saucer eyes, either way he doesn't cry. I know your baby is big, but you are probably already really strong as you are having to carry him/rock him at the moment. Try holding him before he gets tired and fussy, once you are calming them down, it is often just too much of a leap to go to sleep.

If he is tired, and no flames please, whatever works for you...I will feed him until he falls asleep, then wait 5 minutes, then put him in his cot, then if he cries a little let him suck my finger. The secret is not to let him wake up fully and he doesn't seem to realise that its a finger for that brief last suck.

The third thing, and this is not something I have experience of but simply my own opinion is that expressing in the late afternoon and early evening is possibly the worst time for your baby. He has been awake most of the day, he can't be bothered to suck and someone has taken away all the easy milk and popped it in the fridge. Could you try expressing in the morning, when you will have more milk (especially if he has slept through to 4.30am or if you given bottles at night.) BTW those night feeds are when you make all the lovely mothering hormones that help you cope and also when you have most prolactin and so the milk is easier to come by, by avoiding night feeds at the breast you may be "drying up" your supply and wrongly blaming the breast pump.

I would suggest ditching the pump for 3 days (I know easier said than done) and feeding your baby everytime he needs it, and offering even when he doesn't, and feeding him lying down in bed at night when he wakes. This will boost your milk production, and also get it going at the times of the day your baby is most hungry. You need your baby to take milk to make more, even the best pump is worse than the tiredest baby at this.

I wondered what was wrong with my baby until I looked at www.askdrsears.com and read a couple of his books (while breastfeeding ), I can especially recommend "The Fussy Baby".

I don't have other children so I won't try to give any tips for that, but I hope what I wrote helps you, even if its just that you don't feel as if you are the only one out there.

i had this with dd who is now 9mths,i bought a graco wind up swing which after being wound up ran by itself for 1/2 hr at least,this allowed me a little time to get things done and it almost hypnotised her into a sleep.I used it for about 6 weeks and it seemed to help her get over the sleeping difficulties as she now sleeps during the day of her own accord.She wouldnt sleep no matter how tired she was and the only thing that did work was walking her round the block which wasnt always practical and anyway when i came in or stopped walking she woke but the swing sort of sent her into a trance and even when it stopped she stayed asleep.I have since lent it out to various friends having the same problems and they have also said it works wonders.they can be about £80 to buy but i bought mines second hand for £30 ,can you maybe borrow one of someone?

I've found that a hairdryer does the trick very nicely with dd. To be fair she only needs it when she's got over tired but it works everytime!

Obviously, you just put the dryer on close to the cot, not on the baby's hair

Hi Rosmum - is it getting any better? I've just bought a wind-up swing I'm so desperate for dd to sleep so we'll see. It does sound as if sleep and feeding are connected and I've been following your other thread!

Just a quick posting - the swing is GREAT - 1.5 hours sleep this morning!