Falling asleep at the breast how to stop

[Athrawes]

My six week old has this "routine" - wake, feed, change and play, mum notices crankiness, feed again...fall asleep or close to it on the breast, mum carries him to bed and pats to sleep. Retreat and pray. If it does not work do three sets of 5-10 min crying before admitting defeat and feeding again until asleep properly and back to bed.
I'd like someone else to be able to give him an expressed bottle but afraid he won't go to sleep, specially at night, because he won't get the soothing of the boob.
What's with "put them to sleep awake they'll learn to put themself to sleep" - if I put him down awake, even if obvious tired signs, he screams until fed asleep. And I have been hardline and am not dashing in every two minutes.
What can I do?

Feed him up, hand to dad (apologies if there's no dad around), let dad walk around with him for 20 minutes, you leave the house for 30 minutes. Repeat as necesary.

Dad (or whoever your spare adult is) will learn to settle him without you. Dad will try his own things to settle bubba, one of which will eventually work.

Putting down awake and letting fall asleep only worked with one of my 4 DC, and even there only until he was about 8m old! Was nice while it lasted, but I don't think it's all that common.

Umm, for me 6 weeks would have been too young to do any crying, 5-10 mins would be a long time for a tiddley peep with the memory of a goldfish.

When you say you'd like someone else to give him an expressed bottle, do you mean so that you can go out completely for the evening, or just so that you can catch up on a few hours extra sleep? You might well find that an expressed bottle and lots of warm cuddles will do the trick - but sometimes only if you're not around to watch! Often babies know that the source of food is sitting in the next room and they'll wait for that rather than have a bottle.

For my DS, learning to self-soothe is a skill that he's only just mastering at 8 months and I've fed him to sleep for every nap and sleep up until now. Looking back it's gone soooooooo fast and I've loved all the cuddles :-) Might be worth relaxing a bit, lots of cuddles and see how things go. For me, breastfeeding wasn't just about physically getting mild into DS, but bonding, comforting, sleep inducing (for me and him) and a wonderful experience - I know that not everyone is this lucky and I thank my lucky stars that I was.

That should read milk of course, not mild. I think I need a cup of tea.

what can you do?
leave it till he's older
at 6wks it's ideal for him to fall asleep at the breast
why would you leave him to cry for 3x10min?! now is not the time to be hardline! Even people who recommend controlled crying say don't do it before 12m

you say you're 'afraid' he won;t sleep without feeding - have you tried? has dh? you may find that dh rocking / singing suits him perfectly fine and you are worrying abotu nothing.

Just let him fall asleep on the boob, you can't sleep train a 6 week old, their brains just aren't ready to understand the concept that even though you're not there you haven't abandoned him. I've let both of mine fall asleep on the boob and they've all learnt to fall asleep on their own in their own time. Enjoy how easy it is at the moment because in a couple of years time you'll be having negotiations the UN would be proud of to get your toddler to bed!

Ok. I will just chill, look down adoringly at the little leech and enjoy and try to stop comparing myself to other mum round the corner and her routiney baby.
Thanks for giving me permission to cuddle!

We've just stopped my 1 year old falling asleep at the breast!

Yes, don't compare. Especially if you and your little one are perfectly happy. The first year rushes past. Enjoy!

don't compare, most people lie about their 3 day old sleeping though :o It's like teenagers bragging about sex, every says they're at it, but really no one is!

TBH one of the biggest advantages of breastfeeding is that it naturally puts babies/toddlers to sleep.

This is not a bad habit which you need to break but a good one which could make your life so much easier if you just go with the flow. Listening to him screaming and him being so upset must be so difficult for both of you :( Wouldn't it be easier to nurse him to sleep and enjoy the peace :)

All children will eventually learn to self sooth but this is not something a six week old is capable of learning yet.

Regarding another person giving a expressed bottle to the baby, have you tried it already ? How did he react ?

I only managed to express enough over four days for one small snack bottle! And he took it like a dream. Even though I was sitting there right next to him. The dear kid isn't fussy. That was at four weeks. I have milk in abundance for baby but little for the pump! Unless I pump in the middle of the night when boobs are full - and frankly my sleep is too precious.

I'd stop worrying about routiney babies and settling to sleep and turning your child isn't a spoilt monster of a toddler and rods for backs and all the other ridiculous things that people tell you about tiny babies.

(You're not ridiculous. The predictions of doom are).

At this age, the key is to make it as easy for everyone as possible. Your son just doesn't have anywhere near the cognitive skills to make associations about learning to sleep alone, and routines and whatnot. He's barely mastered the idea that he's out of the womb, and is operating on pure instinct. That instinct means that he wants to be in continuous contact with you, because you are his source of food and will fight off the sabre-toothed tigers for him. That's it, that's all he cares about.

I did everything on demand, child-led, etc. At 4 months she stopped sleeping unless she was sleeping with me, so we co-slept. At 9 months she stopped sleeping with me so we went back to the cot. She stopped falling asleep on the breast at 11 months, so I stopped feeding to sleep. At 13 months she stopped falling asleep unless she was put down and left alone in her cot, so I did that. It was entirely, completely painless, and I have all these lovely memories of co-sleeping and breastfeeding and rocking her to sleep, and a toddler with exactly the same self-soothing skills as her peer who was CC'd at 4 months.

turning your child into a spoilt monster, obviously.