Come and talk to me about PUPD (Long, sorry)

[Galena]

When DD was little, I made a point of putting her down in her Moses basket awake and letting her self settle. She'd whinge for a bit then go to sleep. Then she was poorly so I cuddled/bfed her to get her to sleep. We did some CC to get her self settling again once she was better and it worked. Then we had 2 readmissions to hospital and a period of about 5 months where she wasn't well at all. I cuddled/bfed to sleep.

Just after her first birthday we stopped bf and so at night, she'd have milk with tea, bath, book and then cuddled to sleep as she still wasn't well. When she got better, we were still cuddling to sleep. We're now at the position where she won't self settle in the evening (during the night is hit and miss too). We would try CC again as we had good results last time, but if she screams a lot now she is sick, so that's not an option.

PUPD seems like it might be an option - my understanding of it is that you put the child down and then if they start to cry you pick them up and quiet them. As soon as they are quiet you put them back down. If they cry again pick up and put down when quiet. If they cry on the way down, put down fully then pick up again. Is this the essence of it?

Is there somewhere online I can read about it in more detail as I have some other questions...
-Do I stand by the cot the whole time, sit in the room or do I try to leave the room?
-How long do I leave her to cry before picking up, particularly if they cry on the way down?
-How quickly am I likely to see a change in her settling? (CC took 3 days, I'm expecting PUPD to take longer, but hoping it'll be days/weeks not months)
-What happens if DD won't quieten down?!

Thanks for getting to the end of this mammoth post, and looking forward to advice.

Oh, I meant to add that DD is 16 months old now, but as she was born 3 months early, is developmentally 13 months old.

I did PUPD - you need "the baby whisperer solves all your problems" maybe look in the library?

I ignored everything else she said about routine etc and just did the PUPD. We did it because we simply could not get DD to sleep at bedtime but it did get her sleeping through within a week or two as well.

DD was only about 5/6 months though. I'm not sure she recommends it for much older babies - you'd need to check. I think there is a forum for it too so worth a google?

Sorry, to answer your questions:

-Do I stand by the cot the whole time, sit in the room or do I try to leave the room?

I didn't bother trying to leave til she was asleep.

-How long do I leave her to cry before picking up, particularly if they cry on the way down?

If she cried on the way down I used to put her down and pick her staight back up. If she was whining rather than crying I would shush pat, but otherwise I picked her up immediately that she cried.

-How quickly am I likely to see a change in her settling? (CC took 3 days, I'm expecting PUPD to take longer, but hoping it'll be days/weeks not months)

Was very, very quick for us. I first did it for a nap and although it took about 40 mins to get her down the first time she then slept for 2 hours in her cot - she had never napped for longer than 45 mins before and never in her cot, always on me or in the buggy. From memory I think within a week her sleep was significantly different and by 2 weeks she was sleeping through after previously waking every 2 hours.

-What happens if DD won't quieten down?!

You just keep going I'm afraid. This is the hard bit. I think the longest it took us was over an hour, that was quite early on. After that it used to take 15/20 mins then much much less.

Thanks for the replies. I'll see if I can get hold of that book. Seems I may need to read it and see if it's suitable first.

ARGH!

There's a fairly extensive Q/A online which might answer your questions without needing the book. I'm too crap to manage links but if you google baby whisperer sleep interview it's the first hit. We used PUPD to get rid of the dummy, with mixed success. Dummy is gone but DS got more rather than less wound up with the picking up so we pretty much resorted to sh/pat. He was much younger than your DD though.

at 13 months i am prtty sure the baby whisperer just does the put down part - if they stand up lay them down etc etc

I'm doing it with my 7 m.o. DS, but not at bedtime, only when he wakes grizzling after the first/second/third sleep cycle. At first it took 20 mins to settle him. A week later it now takes 1-2 mins. But he was just grizzling, not crying crying.

Some babies do get more stimulated by being picked up rather than calmed down.

There is a sleep regression around 13 months (it goes on the age from due date) which may be having an effect - and you may find that makes any form of sleep training less effective until this developmental spurt is past. See here and here

That's interesting, AngelDog - she does wake for up to 2 hours in the middle of the night. Thanks for that.

I'm in really - I steeled myself for a night of madness having read the sleep interview (as the library copies of the book each have 3 requests for them already) I realised that she would be ok for the 'middle' age group as she's not yet standing up in her cot. I had to pick her up 4, yes 4, times only and did some shh-patting and she was asleep 15 minutes after her light going down! I realise that this is probably the clam before the storm, but WOW!

No doubt I'll post back on here later or tomorrow crying from frustration, but thanks so far!

Hmmm, clams before the storm sound tasty, but, as I hope you guessed, I meant the 'calm' before the storm.

Excellent news- well done. I think clams mustn't a special sleep deprived sort of calm . I've not read the sleep interview for a while; maybe I'll go back to it.

Well, she woke at 11:30 last night and took about 20 mins to settle, then again 10 minutes later and took another 20 minutes. Then slept till morning.

Tonight she settled with 10 minutes of shh/pat and NO pick ups. May I just say, WOW!

The only problem was that naptime today went pearshaped and I did cuddle her to sleep. Also my back has gone 'twang' and it now hurts to move. Possibly through leaning over the cot so much recently. Bah!

Well done baby Galena!
I've yet to read the interview, have house guests until Monday so am getting prepared for start then.
I have back trouble so that is worrying me, however it is time to stop making excuses on Monday. Til then sleep well :)

Thanks - two wakes last night, one DH settled her with sh/pat without getting her out of the cot: 10 mins. One I got her out to give her a drink/teething gel, put her back in and couldn't sh/pat because of my back, and she looked at me for a minute or so then rolled over and went to sleep:5 mins.

Good sleep. :)