9.5 mo insecure at night times ...

[Slave2Babe]

i've posted a few times about sleep problems with dd. we've started being able to put her down awake and letting her drift off to sleep by herself - however, we seem to have taken a giant step back and i dont know why???

as she's going off to sleep, she looks round to see if i'm still there - if i stay she will eventually drop off. if i leave, she will really scream the place down until i go in and calm her.

if i sneak out when i think she is asleep, she will often be screaming before i get to the bottom of the stairs.

we've tried leaving her to cry but she gets more and more upset to the point where she's really sobbing. last time i went in to find her sitting in the middle of her cot with her head down sobbing really hard - broke my heart to see her so upset

she is fine in the day. she goes to a nursery and a childminder during the week and is fine about being left. i can leave her to play happily on her own in the evenings ... its just bedtime.

we are not doing anything different ... will this phase pass and how can i help to get back on track ...

Hi, poor you - I remember feeling just like this at around that age. Just when you think you've sussed it, it all goes wrong! In my (limited) experience it's just a phase and she's testing you. I remember speaking to my HV about it when I was at my wits end and she asked me if I'd ever heard of a child dying from crying (charming!, but I got the gist).
I would continue with the leaving her to cry for a few minutes and then just going back in, give her a cuddle (no talking) and then put her down again and leave the room (I used to sit on the stairs just out of sight) and then go back in and do the same again (over and over and over). I did this for about 3 hours one night and eventually she got the message and the following night only had to do it a few times. After a 3 or 4 days we were back to normal again and I was furious that I hadn't persevered before and that I had put myself through about 3 weeks of misery.
Unfortunately, we still get phases like this now and dd is 19 months but we still do the same and it usually only takes the one day to get back on track! In general though, it does get easier as they get older.
Good luck x