Would you agree that to attempt bedtime under these circumstances would be pointless?

[nickytwotimes]

Just looking for some other opinions really.

Ds 2 is 10 weeks. He has hellish reflux (been in hospital, etc) and has standard young baby crap lower bowel probs. By the evenings he is hysterical. He does have a bathtime in the evening and a feed, but cos of the reflux doesn't settle at all till he is utterly exhausted at about 11 or 12. He won't even settle on us; it is not like he is being left in a cot or whatever.

I am getting my knickers ina twist a bit that not having a bedtime means he is getting more up tight, but when I have tried it has been a waste of time. Is it worth persvering at this stage or should we leave it a bit?

I know that some people get their babies into bedtime routines at set times very early, but I never did with either of my two.
It sounds like he has enough reasons not to sleep until he's ready. Don't worry about what time he goes to bed. Just give him the support he needs.
There will be plenty of time to get into new routines when he has got through his colic.

Thaks Ruth.
Ds 1 was such an 'easy' baby and was tucked up at a very young age quite happily.
Tbh I am more than happy to have ds2 on me of an evening, but I was rather looking forward to cosy cluster feeding sessions rather than scream fest!

ahh ds2 was like this.
i wonder if it['s worth keeping a food diary to see if anyhting you are eating is aggravating it? we discovered that ds2 was reacting to milk and egg in my diet and once i cut those out he was like a different baby. the evenings were so much better then!

Sadly, been down the elimination road already...didn't help. I was so disappointed!
Guess time will sort it?

It's a shame that you can't stop it through your own diet. My DS was a screamer and vomiter from birth too. I had to feed him three times to get one feed's worth of milk into him and he couldn't sleep horizontal at all.
That was down to dairy in my diet and stopped as soon as I cut it out.
I hope your DS grows out of it quickly for both your sakes.

Don't sweat it - its very hard, been there and done that, but just let the baby set the pace for a little while. He can't tell the time! There is no point fighting it. I speak for bitter experience here!

nicky we didn't really bother with a bedtime until DS went in to his own room at 6 months, we used to just all go to bed together at about 10.30.

Thanks.

I reckon it's hard enough atm without adding stress of worrying about what I 'should' be doing.

aww that's a shame.
just go with whatever works i say. might be colic too, which will improve with age.

Yes that was exactly our view. A few ex-collegues of mine kept on with the 'oh but if you get him down for 7.30pm then you can come to the pub', but tbh when DH and I decided to have a family it was because we had done all the going out after work stuff and we just aren't bothered any longer.

My cousin has her two asleep at 7pm because she and her husband like peace and quiet in the evening, but he is a teacher at a private school and is home by 4.30 every day so they all eat dinner together at 5.30pm and then get the boys to bed. When they asked us why we didn't do the same, we pointed out that DH is mostly only just home at 7pm and that he'd actually quite like to see DS for a few hours during the week! They were a bit .

We had major colic issues until 12 weeks when it just stopped - couldn't quite believe it! We had no set bedtime as just getting our daughter to sleep at all was a relief. She is 5 months tomorrow, and the nights driving for miles in the car trying to get her to sleep seem like years ago. I would advise trying not to worry about a set bedtime at the moment, you've got enough to deal with. Just go with what you can and a routine will follow when things are more settled. Don't feel guilty about what other people are doing - I've already come to realise all babies are different.

Don't worry about it. Once you have sorted out his other problems (and it will pass, I promise) then you can sort out the getting him settled in the evenings.

What good will it do to try to get him to go down now? It is not going to work and you will only get more stressed.

Just wanted to say that I too struggled to get my baby to sleep at all for the first 16 weeks.

We tried everything, gaviscon for reflux, infacol for colic, lactose free diet for me, swaddling, not swaddling, co- sleeping...the lot!!!

No matter what we did DS just screamed til he exhausted himself and then woke up a couple of hours later and repeated the whole thing again.

At 16 weeks it suddenly stopped.....we are still having some sleep issues now (14months and never made it past 5am) and I dont think he is ever going to be a 'contented' baby but he is certainly much happier and will even self settle now.

I came to the conclusion in the end that it wasnt reflux or lactose intolerance or any of the other 'labels' that HV's like to give you now.....trying all the different things and listening to others only made me more stressed and the situation a whole lot worse. Just try and go with the flow and keep your fingers crossed it will pass.

good luck

Thank you for all your posts.

I try to remember it will pass!

On the bright side he went to sleep at 10.20 last night! WOW!