2 yr old not sleeping at night - help needed!

[kampa]

Hi, I have a 2yr old son who is waking in the night and I have become am unable to settle him - he was awake for 4 hours straight(11pm-3am) last night! All the advice I get from my HV is to do controlled crying ... wondering if anyone can suggest other options?

Some background... DS has always been a terrible night-time sleeper. He used to wake 1-3 times a night and I settled him by co-sleeping/BF. This worked okay and then at 22 months he started sleeping through the night (in his own bed), which lasted for 6 whole weeks!

But a month ago he started waking at night again and nothing works to settle him anymore. BF seems to make him more awake/alert. He can't fall asleep in our bed. If we leave him in our bed, he BFs continuously or tosses and turns until he starts crying. He screams if we don't pick him up from his bed or try to put him back there. If we sit with him and try to comfort him in his room he either won't stop crying or becomes alert and wants to play. We've even tried turning on the lights to play quietly and/or go through the bedtime story routine again (works brilliantly at 7:30pm when he can self-settle to sleep in his own bed), but does nothing to help re-settle him to sleep in the middle of the night.

This happens about 3 nights a week, but there's no real pattern. We can't think of anything in particular that could be waking him (eg: teething, noises, nappy, illness, temperature, etc). I had thought the habit of night-waking had finally been broken, so I've no idea why this is happening.

Help! I really need advice or any suggestions other than CC, which I don't want to do if there is another option. I'm desperate though as I got used to sleeping through the night myself and can't handle this anymore! Thanks!!!

MY babe is 18 months and used to wake several times a night and I'd cuddle her to sleep or stand over the cot but things go so bad (wouldn't sleep and kept laughing or waving at me for one!) that we decided to try CC. Why do you not want to try CC? We found that it worked really well but needed to stick with it for 3-4 nights. We decided to make the most of it and planned an easier schedule for a few days, bought in night time snacks and drinks and DVD's just in case. Essentially, what has worked is that when babe wakes we wait until her crying turns from a 'grumble' or 'winge' to a cry which, if you left it, would really take-off. Then go in and ideally, lay down your babe, rub or pat their back, shh-shh, you're ok Mummy/Daddy is here etc. Wait until crying calms and no longer than 2-3 mins then walk out. If babe cries (will do), wait for a set time before going back in or earlier if crying gets excessive. We did 2 mins, then 5 mins, then 10 mins until it had gone on for 45 mins and then waited 15 mins each time. You have to be at the point where you cannot go on to do this but it really really really works and your babe will feel secure but also will be left to settle. Now our babe mostly sleeps but does slip back - I sometimes pick her up and cuddle her and then put her down and do shh-shh for 3-5 mins but never anything else. I can really say that CC has saved us as a family - and you can be flexible in how you do it - just be consistent in what you do and the gaps that you leave between visits to your babe. I hope you find a solution that suits you.

there are alot of these devil 2 year olds

have you tried the usual, ie CUT day time nap and knacker him out? black outs etc

I am afraid we are CC with ours. Its bloody awful, but it does eventually work...

get some ear plugs, and apologise in advance to neighbours tho.....

Thanks for the replies! I was hoping for an option other than CC, but maybe there isn't one? I never wanted to do CC with him because I didn't think it seemed right to leave him alone to cry ... but, he cries so much when he can't get back to sleep with me and nothing I do seems to help him anyway. So, yes, I'm thinking now CC might be the best thing for him.

porcamiseria - I haven't tried cutting his nap, he tends to sleep well in the day, so I can try that first.

bepi01 - Your description of it sounds more gentle than I imagined, that's really helpful. And thanks for saying that you felt CC really saved you as a family ... we're kinda at a breaking point in this house so that makes me feel more comfortable if we do decide to do it.

could be night terrors?

look up dr jays night weaning - might give you some useful tips. i explained to my 2 year old what i was going to do and what to do when he wakes up and that he can have a cuddle then snuggle down and keep still. he understood it all quite well.

we still co sleep at 2.5 and he wakes up about 3 am and wriggles for an hour til i say in a fierce voice 'keep still'

he's never slept through but i wouldn't do cc

There is a common sleep regression at around 2.5 - 3 years. See here.