Help me create a bedtime routine for 2 children

[Minicooper]

We had a great bedtime routine for dd1 (2.5 yrs) - bath, story, prayers, lullaby, bed. Worked really well for about 18months (after nightmare first year and seeing a sleep specialist - but that's another story...) Then dd2now 5 months) arrived. She always needs a feed during dd1's bedtime routine, so we adjusted so dd2 feeds trhough story and prayers, then dh (if he's around) takes dd2 downstairs while I finish off dd1. Then dd2 feeds again before bed.

The problem is that dd1 has gone into meltdown - resists everything - bath, getting out of the bath, switching the light off, closing the curtains, putting th nappy on etc etc. Lots of tears and very very tiring. Its like the routine frustrates her, but if we miss any part of it she goes into meltdown.

How did you fit in 2 - or even more?! She getting up stupidly early too, so we've got battles either end and then I'm feeding a 5month ole in the night, so pretty knackered! TIA.

Oh, and we moved her into her own bed about 3 weeks ago as she was jumping out of her cot and hurting herself... Don't think that's helped! We used to leave her to settle herself if she got in a mood, popping back every few minutes to reassure her, but now she just gets out of bed and chases me down the hall!

I've no idea about the routines, I'm afraid, but there is a common sleep regression around 2.5/3 years, and difficulties in going to bed are often part of it. See here for more information.

I don't know whether she's still sleeping in the day at all, but it could be that she's overtired, which might be causing the early waking. You could try putting her to bed earlier or trying to persuade her to nap (more) in the day.

Thanks, angeldog. Yes, hopefully just a phase... She still has a nap in the day and struggles without it. I can't decide if she's not tired enough at bedtime and we should cut the nap, or if she's overtired and needs more! She usually has about an hour, but wondering if I need to cut it down to about 40mins or so. Soooo exhausting!

Speaking of needing her nap - she's just fallen asleep on the sofa as I changed her sister's nappy - so definitely tired!

Bump for the evening crowd! Any pearls of wisdom before tonight's sorry attempt?!

Feeling for you, it's so hard isn't it. Can you persuade DH to be home more than he's not as a starting point.
DS1 used to chase me down the hall, too, so I put a stairgate on his door. I wasn't happy with closing the door as it felt like I was keeping him prisoner. I know the stairgate is the same in principle, but somehow the fact he could see through it made me feel better about it. He learnt to climb over it so it's gone now, sadly, but it worked a treat for a while. Hope tonight went ok.