controlled crying- aaaaaah

[porcamiseria]

we are due baby 2 in a few weeks, and have decided that we need to do some tough love with DS1, 2.5 He used to self settle about 9 but after a family holiday he would only settle with one of us, and not in his cot

after 2 months of missed sleep , basically DP has to sleep with him! we flipped

so the sides have gone back on the cot-bed (still a good size for him). the day time nap has been CUT

But last night he cried for 1 hour! its was AWFUL, I ended up going for a drive

please can someone tell me it works eventually. we just want him back in his cot bed, and self settling. Thats not too much to ask is it?????

I can be having night time shenanigens from him, and a newborn!!!!

I did controlled crying. Nothing too extreme but we tried leaving DS and he would just carry on. We would go in after 5 minutes the first time, then 10 minutes intervals, tell him it was night time (in a quiet voice) and time to go to sleep, cover him up and leave the room. We only ever had to go in 3 times before he stopped. After 6 weeks of him waking up and us trying to go in and fussing around to find the problem (which was nothing) 3 nights of what we did above and he stopped it.

Good luck.

We used it on both our kids with no apparent ill effects. Hubby read about it in a book, and whilst I was initially sceptical it did seem to work. With DS2 we used this (www.littlebluemonkey.com/apps/ciaoBaby/), and helped take some of the guesswork out of it. Good luck with #1 and #2!

thanks

there is a CC app!!!!! OMG!!!

I think he is CC proof, honestly

night 1, 1 hour
night 2, 40 mins
night 3, 1 hour 10
night 4, 30

we are going mad and our neighbours are going to call SS I think

Stick with it!! It does work, and gets quicker results than that withdrawal method of sitting in their room for weeks on end and slowly get closer to the door.

Aw - I liked the sleep separation technique, and it only took me a week to get to the door! The door's not very far away, so I probably could have done it in fewer days but I felt a week was okay. We used to have a story, then cuddles and kiss goodnight and I'd lie on the floor and do some physio exercises and then after about a week she'd quite happily go off by herself. I have friends who have used controlled crying quite successfully but also a friend who's baby still used to cry for 40mins about 6 months on. As with all things, it's all about what works for you.

Good luck with the sleeping and with the newbie xx

but you've done so well already - 30 mins on night 4!

thanks. we now have 20 minutes crying at bedtime, that feel like 50!

BUT he wakes up in the night too now, and I cant face yet more crying so go to him and sleep with him

I finish work for mat leave nhow so could have some nighttime screaming too, but given that TWO neightbours have complained about it maybe having night-time screaming is a step too far

so fuck knows!!!!!

It's a massive upheaval having a new sibling. Maybe he just wants a cuddle and some comfort? Cc seems pretty harsh when he may feel even more pushed out when the new baby comes.

I would get him used to having dp settle him in the night, and if that involves a cuddle then so what?

We got a single bed for ds1 and i think dh quite likes having somewhere else to sleep when the newborn was up in the night!

SO glad to find this thread. We're in the middle of sleep training and I've just been standing in the shower sobbing (to be fair, I'm not very well, we're upping and moving to the States in 2 weeks, it's raining etc). I HATE seeing the little face that I made inside me screwing up in despair as I lie him back in his cot to cry. But I keep telling myself it's the right thing to do, to be consistent, to teach him to settle himself. But i feel SO mean!!!

cheggers, you have a point. we want him to go to sleep solo but as DP will likely kip in his room when we have a newborn, well whats the harm. Its just that as he's in a cot bed, so soothing = taking him out of cot. the issue is neither of us sleep that well with him

cyclista, maybe leave it till you move? hate to think of the pain then it will all change in 2 weeks anyway. I cant bear it either