How to encourage self-settling without cc?

[sheeplikessleep]

My nearly 5 month old is only sleeping for 1-2 hour stretches at night and I'm desperately shattered. Particularly between the hours of midnight and 6am. He only sleeps for 20-30 minutes for his daytime naps, of which he usually has about 2-3.

At around 12 weeks, he'd wake twice - about midnight and 5am and that was lovely. But the last 4 -5 weeks have been constant wakings.

I have always 'fed to sleep', although I don't think he is waking due to hunger. He latches on and lazily feeds for a few minutes before falling asleep again. He doesn't feed ravenously during the night. He is feeding very frequently in the day - every 1-2 hours (again, partly because I am using feeding to encourage him to sleep).

I do not mind feeding to sleep and really enjoy it. BUT, I also have a nearly 3 year old, who I feel is missing out as his mummy is constantly shattered / falling asleep / irritable.

I know cc isn't recommended for under 6 months (I don't really ever want to use it tbh, but it's getting to the point where my principles will go out of the window in favour of a few hours kip!), so I wondered what others had used in similar situations?

Any advice / help very gratefully received.
Thanks for reading.

I found the gradual withdrawal method worked better as it is kinder - you stay in the room with them and pat/shush to sleep, gradually reducing the amount of contact, then moving further away from the cot/crib.

Trouble is, up until a couple of weeks ago I had got to the point where I was putting DD down pretty much awake, but recently this has gone out the window and I am back to feeding (but not to sleep) and then rocking her in my arms until drowsy and then putting her down.

I think it's the dreaded 4 month sleep regression thing as she has also been waking much more frequently. Last night she didn't sleep for longer than 4 hours in one stretch, mainly only doing 2.5 - 3 hrs, and yet I know she can do 9 hrs (9-6) as she was doing it only 2 weeks ago
naps are also only 40 mins (ish) unless out in the car/pram.

She is 4.5 months old btw so similar in age to your LO so it could be the same thing. Think we just need to ride it out!
Good luck.

thanks so much for posting curlylj.
i've just been googling gradual withdrawal method and i certainly feel happier trying that.
how long, in your experience, did it take for your lo to fall asleep? do you just leave them to cry in the cot, or is there a certain timeframe when you'll pick your daughter up to cuddle her before trying again.
it's so difficult, i'm so shattered that in the day i think 'yes, i've got to try something' and by the time nighttime comes and we've tried rocking ds to sleep and he's still there grinning at us, i think sod it, and give him a feed to sleep, just for short term gain really.
i think i need to let him fall asleep in other ways, not just whilst feeding. and to take him off before he falls asleep. i think i'll try holding him to sleep first upright, then try putting him in his cot whilst he is still drowsy. we'll see how we get on. thanks again, it's reassuring to know we're not the only ones awake through the night!

Hi again

iirc it took about 1.5 hours the first night and then gradually got shorter, although there were some nights that it just did not work, but then that's babies I suppose

DD would sometimes cry, sometimes chatter, sometimes just fuss - all depends on her mood. When it escalated to full-on distressed crying I sometimes gave in which maybe why it doesn't always work
If she was content and happy lying there I would sometimes potter about in the room or keep out of sight, as I think sometimes just being there can stimulate them IYSWIM? If you are in sight, it does help not to engage with them and not to gove too much eye contact - or so I found anyway.

I think as long as they fall asleep some other way than on the boob, like you said upright on your shoulder, then you are making progress. Sometimes it is easier to take the path of least resistance and I'm told that the self-settling will come when she is good and ready...

How do you get your LO down for naps?

I don't have the answers but in the last couple of days my DD has suddenly started self settling at naptime (she is 6months). We have an Amby's nature nest (baby hammock) and it used to take 20mins of bouncing or swinging it to get her to sleep but I decided to just leave her without bouncing there were a few protest cries (started a thread about the guilt I felt doing that) but her protest crying honestly wasn't really more than she does anyhow when I am there bouncing her and trying to soothe her. Since then she has been falling asleep in the hammock without difficulty (this morning not even a whimper- took 10mins), this afternoon was a bit of a struggle so she had a bottle and has been fast asleep for over an hour. The advantage to the baby hammock is when the wriggle it protest about being put down for a nap it bounces and soothes them! Daren't try the cot just yet!

My plan is to get to to self settle at all naptimes and bedtimes and then tackle the nighttime wakings (like your LO my DD just wakes up for a quick suck and back to sleep). I did try and get her to self settle last night but after 20mins of protest chuntering and possibly waking the neighbours I gave up and plonked her back on the boob as it is fastest route to sleep for all concerned! But I am about to move into a detached house and my DH will be in London in the week so will try it then as she can only keep me awake with her chatter.

What I am doing is definitely not controlled crying she would get rescued if she was very upset (this afternoon the poor love had to wait til I did her bottle which I felt bad about) but its also not responding to the protest whinges- she is having a chunter and is trying to get my attention but not full on crying. Before this I would always respond to her chunters too and I don't think this did her sleep any favours, as it woke her up more and then we got into overtired meltdowns.

I also took her to a cranial osteopath (first appointment amazing- went 8 hours for 6 nights out of 7, second appointment -hell- went to waking every 40mins, third appointment she has started the self settling- it may all be coincidental but it might have helped.

Also your LO naptimes are very short- have you tried nap blending- ie. getting him back to sleep if wakes within 30mins. If he got a longer stretch in the day that may help in the night.

Oh and read on here which really works 2,3,4 naps (two hours (or less) after awake for the day- down for a nap, three hours after that next nap, 4 hours after that- bedtime. Although that is for 6months on and I adapted it to making sure a nap every 2 hours sometimes 3.

He falls asleep feeding on me usually .
BUT, he fell asleep last night by being rocked and this morning against me in rocking chair (10 minutes after feed). I know its replacing with another sleep association, but when he is doing this fine, I'll try to get him to sleep against me without rocking, then in cot.

Bad night though - I lost count of the times he woke up. To be honest, I kept falling asleep whilst he was feeding - maybe I'm developing a sleep association now

Hi,

I have a 12 week old and although she self settles in the day and at bedtime she wont during the night, i know alot of people wont agree with this but i've resorted to co sleeping i find if she is with me she sleeps all night whereas if she is in her moses basket she wakes every hr or so and wants to feed back to sleep.

Dont know if this is an option for you of course but works for me.