one very tired mummy...feeling guilty!

[Ghostie]

My DD is three weeks tomorrow and she has had a great day today, but I am just so tired doing this all day and all night. I feel like I'm up and down like a yoyo and everything aches! I feel terrible for complaining, because dd is amazing, but I just really feel like I need a break or a bit of time off - terrible isn't it!!

I read your post and nodded in a sleepy overwhelmed agreement My ds is just over 2 weeks old and I feel exactly same. I feel terrible about it too. We however are not quite at great days yet still settling and I am feeling all over the place

Don't feel guilty. Wait until you get those first smiles, gurgles and a bit more interaction. You also get used to the lack of sleep too!!

Thanks, sometimes it just feels very overwhelming and relentless. My DH has been out all day playing in a match and I have been home alone, sometimes it is hard not to feel a tinge of resentment that I am not able to opt in and out and have some time off and sleep!

When do they start to settle into more of a pattern and when will be able to start getting out and about more easily? I can't wait for those first similes and the interaction - when does that start?

It is always good to know that you are not on your own and what you're feeling is normal!

Mmm I think I saw a pattern from about 6 weeks. But looking back now, I wish I got out more in the early days as they sleep so easily before then. Just pop in a sling/pushchair and out you go! If you're breastfeeding, you can feed wherever you feel comfortable (practice in front of a mirror and go with friends for support).

Try and get out every day - even if it's ten minutes up the road. It takes AGES to get out, but once you've done it a few times, you'll feel so much better and it gets quicker. To make things easier, have a bag packed and ready the night before (change of clothes, nappies etc).

Have you been to the shops yet? (I was terrified that DS would cry but he just slept!) That's a nice thing to do and you can show your little one off.

Don't worry about the baby crying - if she does, just take her out of the pram and give her a cuddle

Also try napping when your little one does and put your feet up. I used to have him lie on me whilst I lay back on the sofa watching tv. It was great (at the time I was tired so didn't really appreciate it, but now my baby is 9 months and crawling everywhere, I have no peace!!)

I also feel the resentment about my dp. Havent been out just me and him yet- nervous!
I do try no nap when he does, sods law he is sleepy im awake. im sleepy he wont settle. He makes a lot of noise when in early stages of asleep- normal I think

when i say him i mean ds not dp!

Please try and get out thislittlesister! I was terrified, absolutely terrified but once you do it a few times it's fine. I promise you. Do you have a sling? If you're worried about him crying, having him in that is a lot easier as he'll be calmer being next to you.

Thanks and I agree on the getting out thing. I was given that advice before dd was born and I've been trying to get out locally most days. I have yet to brave Sainsbury's or big shops, I am still finding that idea a bit scarey!

It's so hard when they are so little!

FWIW I found 6 weeks to be a real turning point (and you're halfway there), then 8 weeks, then 12 weeks. It gets easier ALL THE TIME. My baby is now 24 weeks, and, though we have rough patches with teething, sleep regression etc, I am so much stronger and can cope with it pretty well on the whole. Was a quivering wreck at the start.

Soon she'll start to have more distinct awake and asleep times, start to play on her mat by herself, and start sleeping for longer stretches. The day we got our evenings back (around 7 weeks) was a red letter day!

And I second the suggestion to get out every day. Half an hour of fresh air made me feel I'd had an hour's extra sleep, I promise you.

Also, how is your iron? I was really anaemic after the birth and it was making the newborn stage so much harder, but as soon as I started taking a supplement called Spatone I felt ten times better.

I remember my first trip to the supermarket - I timed it so DS would be asleep and spent the whole time watching him for signs of waking up (I was worried he would cry). It's funny - the sound of your baby crying sounds worse to you than anyone else that might hear.

Dont't worry hun. We all feel the same, especially if it's your first. All of a sudden you won't feel as tired, your body gets used to the sleep disturbance. Also, if you are worried about your baby crying when you go out, don't be! Next time you are out, sit next to someone with a crying baby. I can guarantee you it won't sound as loud to you as it does to it's mum. Your own always seems to sound louder! Also, I always find myself to get a bit of second wind if I've been out and about, whereas if I'm stuck in, I'm so lathargic. Don't worry, it'll get over with xx