3 week old non-sleeper

[ElphabaThropp]

please - any advice

my 3 week old dd is not napping during the day unless she is on my chest or in her carseat with the car actually moving. i can't put her down at all during the day unless her dad takes over and he has now used up all his leave and has to go back to work. I;m exhausted and dd is clearly so too. at night she will only go to sleep next to me and then dh can sometimes get her into her cot- sometimes not -and then i've ended up dozing beside her. she's bfeeding so wakes every 2 hours or so for a feed in the night

is this normal? what am i doing wrong? sorry for whiny tone but am in despair

I was in a similar position a few weeks ago and although I dont have a great deal of useful advice, I do want you to know that you are certainly not the only on ein this situation and it does feel really frustarting at the time.
I started sleeping with my DD which she found comforting and I liked because it meant we all got some sleep.

In the day, will your DD nap in a sling? At least this way you have your hands free. Or what about trying her in the pram... we would wait till she was really drowsy then put her in a push it up and down a bit until she settled. having said this - my DD doesn't really go for this now but yours might!

Oh and in answer to 'what am I doing wrong?' the answer is NOTHING!!

When I see how quickly mine is growing already, I feel really grateful for all the cuddly sleeps we have. Good luck!

Hello there

I second Bubbles12 about the normality of what your DD is doing. But totally understand your frustration too.

My DD is 7 weeks and for the last couple of weeks has only really napped in a sling - I would definitely recommend you try this too if you haven't already as it should give your DD the same feeling of security she has when you have her on your chest. My DD won't nap in the carseat successfully (even if moving) so you are one up on me! It's still tiring with the sling, but at least you have a lot more flexibility to do stuff whilst she is sleeping.

One idea about the night - not sure if it will work as I haven't had to try it, but is there any way of replicating her position when she sleeps next to you but somewhere which makes things more comfortable for you (I am assuming from your post that you are not sure about co-sleeping as a long term solution). For example, you can get cots with drop sides so that she can sleep in her cot but still next to you - if you put the cot right up to your bed. Also, what does she sleep on in your bed? When I was still in hospital I put DD next to me on a pillow in bed when she wouldn't settle in her hospital cot. When we got home and she wasn't happy going into her moses basket, I tried putting a pillow in as a mattress. This seemed to do the trick. A pillow is not a great long term place for a baby to sleep, but we quickly moved to a normal mattress. Thankfully she is still happy in the moses basket at night - though no longer in the day. Also, what about putting some of your things (worn clothes, breastpads) next to her when putting her in her bed - so still can still smell you. Just ideas really. It is definitely natural that she feels safe near you and therefore is much happier sleeping when you are about. But if you can find ways to generate these feelings of safety in some other way you might have more luck in persuading her to try other things.

If you can't though, try not to despair. It is only a phase and there is certainly nothing you are doing wrong. I know from my own experience how easy it is to feel frustrated though. Good luck