Bedtime suddenly taking up to 2 hours - help please!

[curlyLJ]

DD has had a bedtime routine since she was 8 weeks old, but just now, at 18 weeks this seems to have gone to pot. Just as I have managed to get naps sorted (well, improved for now anyway) and she is going down with just a bit pf patting/shushing from me, she now won't seem to do this at bedtime and these have been a nightmare for about a week now.

I stopped feeding her to sleep recently, partly because it wasn't really working anymore and partly because she was only settling for a short time...she had been going to sleep as above with a bit of patting shushing as long as she was drowsy/tired when going into basket.

Last night I put her down droswy and did the usual pat/shush. I left her to it when she was quiet and popped back in from time to time. For a while she was cooing and gurgling then it turned to whinging (not really crying) on and off. I know she was tired as she kept yawning but then her eyes would ping open and she looked wide awake again! In the end it had been so long, I gave her a bit more boob (didn't feed to sleep, just to get her drowsy again) she seemed to settle but then woke again after 10 mins (just when I thought it was safe to go downstairs!). In the end I rolled up the t-shirt I had been wearing in the day and put this by her head. Eventually when she fell asleep at 9.30 it had been 2 hours since I have first put her down
Anyway, last night things got steadily worse as the night went on and she woke again at 10.40, 12.45 and 4.40. She didn't go back to sleep after the 4.40 wake up until 7am and then only for 50 mins. She was very windy (farty not burpy) - which happens quite a bit - and I don't think this helped but she is EBF so I don't know if there is anything I can do to stop this.

SHe keeps doing this thing where she is fast asleep by all accounts and then wakes herself up after 10 mins, then you settle her and it happens repeatedly until, I suppose, she is knackered and stays asleep.
She also does this thing where she repeatedly rolls her head from side to side like she can't get comfy. Any ideas why she does this or what it means??

Is this officially the 4 month sleep regression?

The wierd this is that the night before she slept solid from 9pm until 5.45am! She also slept really well in the day yesterday with a 1 hour nap in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. She didn't wake up from this 2 hour nap until nearly 5pm and I put her back down for bed 2.5 hours later - should I have just moved bedtime later???

Oh crikey I hope this passes soon... sorry for such a long post. Any tips gratefully received

Ah, it does sound like a long late nap is a possible culprit. I'd wake her after 45 mins at that nap (not at earlier naps). The longer the nap, the longer she will want to stay awake before her next sleep.

Also did she only have 2 naps that day? If she was up at 5.45 and had one morning nap and a 3-5pm nap, she was probably awake for too long between sleeps. In general babies this age need to be asleep again by 2 hours after they've woken up (although it varies - my 6.5 m.o. DS needs to be asleep an hour and three quarters after last waking). So that probably means she needs 3 naps in a day.

I find that if I try to put DS to bed even just 20 mins before he's actually tired, he won't go to sleep and then it will take at least 2 hours to persuade him to go off. If that happens now, I just get him up and let him play on his mat until he seriously starts yawning, when I try again and it usually works.

DS does the head rolling thing if he has wind. He often does grizzly crying with it, and sometimes he wakes himself up, sometimes I can pat him and he'll go back to sleep.

The regression does mess up all sorts of things. What can happen is that their sleep is a mess for a while because their brains are busy, then they may have a night or two of sleeping seriously well (their bodies are doing a bit of 'catch up') before they either go back to 'normal', or they might start working on another developmental thing again.

My DS had a spell of waking 45 mins after bedtime during the 4 month regression. He's done it again recently, and I'm pretty sure his sleep has been messed up by developmental things going on for the last few weeks. No idea about the waking at repeated intervals, though, except that my DS did it last night - he woke at least 5 times between his bedtime and mine.

Thanks AngelDog

No sorry, I typed that slightly wrong...after DD slept from 9pm - 5.45, she then wen't back to sleep until 8am. She was back down for another nap by 10am (I can judge the timings now) where she slept from 10.15 - 11.30. Her 2 hour nap was late starting as I had to take her to the baby clinic, so she didn't get to sleep until gone 2.30 (should have been 1.30) which is why I presume she slept for so long... I won't be letting her do that so late in the day anymore!

Was no better tonight she screamed the place down! It was as if she wasn't tired at all - although I know she must've been.
Really can't work out if she's overtired or not tired enough as it was as bad as yesterday when she had too long a sleep in the late afternoon . Also not sure if it could be teething as she has been drooling all day for a few days with everything going in her mouth, and at night she is still doing this head-rolling thing and just looks like she is sooo uncomfortable or something.

She was playing us a bit by stopping crying the instant we picked her up, but then she went into total meltdown and screamed and screamed and screamed. Even more boob didn't settle her Eventually I resorted to giving Caplpol as I was sure she was in pain... then I rocked her in my arms shushing VERY loudly until she couldn't keep her eyes open, then gently into the moses basket.

She's been asleep for 40 mins now so fingers crossed!!!

indeed. Hope the rest of the night was okay.

Sympathies from me. 'Fraid I can't get my head around the finer details of your posts, as I'm too addled and knackered after emerging from 1hr45 minutes of trying to settle DD (12 weeks) to sleep. DP has now taken over. She has been screaming despite being totally exhausted; keeps falling asleep then waking herself when I try to make my exit. Bah. She got so worked up she couldn't or wouldn't even go to the breast -- I feel v useless.

Onwards and upwards, this too shall pass, etc etc etc...

Thanks for asking AngelDog - the rest of the nigt wasn't too bad - awake at 3.45 for a feed, back to sleep after a bit of fashion at 4.45ish and then awake again at 7. Fed her in bed lying down (don't do that too often as I tend to end up with blocked ducts for some reason ) and she fell back to sleep. I crept away about 9ish, thinking she would wake but she slept on until 10!

So....Different tactics today which went something like this:

DD's last nap was for 40 mins and she was awake just after 4.45 - so not too long and not too late. Bedtime routine starts at 7.30 aiming for bedtime around 7.45/8 (ie about 3 hours after waking)
I know she's definitely tired as she's rubbing her eyes and pulling at her ear. Into basket awake and let the screaming commence. Tonight I was not backing down and picking her up. I knew she was tired, fed, nappy OK and not in pain - she was just shreiking/shouting as hard as she could in desperation to be picked up and fed/rocked to sleep.

It took 45 mins of shushing (trying to be loud enough to be heard above her shouting!) and patting and as you mentioned Dorothea she also does that thing where she keeps appearing to drop off and then she wakes herself up screaming again. Please don't feel useless - you are doing a grand job it's just these babies are very testing at times and have a distinct knack of moving the goalposts just when you think you have sussed them

Well, she's been asleep now for coming up to 1.5 hours so lets hope we are in for a better night.

Sounds good!

I would try to wake her up / get her up at the same time each day if you can - that re-sets their body clock and makes it easier for them to go to sleep around the same time each day (give or take half an hour in each direction, depending on when naps happen). My DS's wake up time is very variable, but I get him up and expose him to daylight at the same time every day if I can.

At that age my DS had to be asleep by 2 hours after last waking, so our bedtime routine started just over an hour after the last nap finished. Now at 6.5 months, a 2 hour gap between last nap ending & needing to be asleep still works best, although I can push it to 2.5 hours without him getting hysterically overtired. It does still sound as if she's overtired - maybe try to get her to bed sooner in relation to her last nap.