HELP - SWADDLE!!!!!

[MeMes]

Hi there

My 6 week old is a really (really, really, reallllllly) active sleeper. She wriggles, kicks and jerks all the time. She will only settle to sleep if she is swaddled, obviously her reflexive baby movements are distressing/disturbing her. My problem is that she is such a wriggler that she works her way out of her swaddle, and then wakes herself up! I'll settle her down for bed, then within a few hours she's wriggled free and is howling to be re-swaddled. It's really disturbing the poor mite's sleep.

Tried a sleeping bag - she didn't sleep for almost 2 days solid!

Am using a 'miracle blanket' swaddle blanket. My questions is: Are there any more secure makes of swaddle blanket available, or is the old fashioned way worth a try? Also any other tips

Any tips before tonight would be MUCH appriciated!!

HELP US!!

well I think only waking after a few hours is good going! At 6 weeks she's going to be needing regular feeds. Sorry, this isn't very helpful. As for the swaddle - I found using a larger sheet eg for a cot rather than moses basket helped as there was more fabric to pin their little arms with!

How is she getting out of the miracle blanket?! Are you strapping her arms down then wrapping?

I agree with the above - she should be waking every few hours.

But it does sound as if you're perhaps doing something funny with the Miracle blanket. It took my DS until 5 months to be able to escape, and that was mostly because he was so big he was bursting out of it.

All my attempts at old-fashioned swaddling were failures by comparison, although that could have just been me.

Do the arms first and seriously tighten the fabric, then the feet, then wrap the rest round there.

Do you know, I don;t know what's happened to the mums on mumsnet since I had my first baby two years ago. It used to be a place where I could ask questions and seek advice from people who were in the same boat as me.

In the few weeks since I've had my second, and I have started using the forums to voice concerns and share thoughts again, and am struck by how much the place has changed.

When I was pregnant, I read an article in Red magazine, in which a fellow second time mum stated that she felt Mumsnet had become over run with bitchy, know it alls who would rather put another Mum (or Dad) down than offer up anything useful. I can't remember her theory on why the place had become like this, but said that she was steering clear from then on.

I didn't altogether agree with her, although having not used Mumsnet for a while, I wasn't really qualified to say. Having read your responses, and the responses that some of the other women on here have received, I'm inclined to agree with this writer wholeheartedly.

When I posted my question, I wasn't expecting to receive (to my mind) snooty advice about how often my daughter should be waking. For your information, when she wakes, she does so because she is cold and flailing around without the swaddle she feels so safe and secure in. She is neither hungry, or thirsty. What she is, is tired, and desperate for me to tuck her back in, so that she is able to go back to sleep. Why some of you feel that you are qualified to tell me how often my daughter should be waking is beyond me.

After two kids and plenty of experience at swaddling, I know what I'm doing. And just because one five month old is unable to 'escape' isn't to say that a six week old can't.

I'm sure I'll ruffle a fair few feathers with this post, and I'm sure it'll get a fair response, but that's ok, you can write what you want because I won't be reading it. You probably feel that it's an over-reaction, and you may be right. But based on my other experiences this time round, I don't think so.

I'm swearing off Mumsnet, and will be trusting my own instincts and knowledge of my children, instead of misguidedly seeking words of support and encouragement from my peers. I really feel for (some) the first time mums who come on here feeling desperate only to recieve high handed words of wisdom.

So much for the sisterhood, more like a pack of wolves.

(Sorry to those of you who actually use Mumsnet forums to do what they are intended for - and I do know there are plenty of you. Shame a small minority spoil it for some of us.)

Signing off - good luck ladies

FWIW (and this is for the other posters not MeMes) I think you were all perfectly helpful and not 'pack of wolves'-y at all.

Each of you has made a helpful suggestion:

Scatter suggested using a larger sheet rather than the 'miracle blanket'

Iggly suggested strapping the arms down with the miracle blanket THEN wrapping

and

Angel suggested 'arms, tighten, legs, rest' - i paraphrase...

And you expressed a reasonable statement that a new baby should be waking every 'few hours'...

And MeMes should you come back and check this post in 'Happiest Baby on the Block' he talks of one mum who would put a mens belt around the outside of the swaddling to hold baby in place - not tried it myself but DS wasn't as wriggly as yours.

And a quick google brings up this - the double burrito which is apprently good for wrigglers

"After two kids and plenty of experience at swaddling, I know what I'm doing. " Well clearly not, as you were asking for advice... and you were given it in a very helpful and polite manner. You come across as very sanctimonious and know-it-all in your second post, yet YOU were the one asking for help.

Get over yourself - Mumsnet has been a huge help to many people, myself included.

I'm going to hope you come back and read this - maybe when you've had a bit more sleep from your "really (really, really, reallllllly) active sleeper".

Agree with KnitterNotTwitter - think everyone has given you some useful advice.

My 8 week old DD also breaks out of her miracle blanket after a few hours. I just feed her and wrap her up again.

I'm sorry - re-reading my post - I've been a bit harsh. I'm just sick of people rubbishing Mumsnet when it has been so much help to so many people. And these post were (I thought) particularly helpful in their nature.

I second the call for a larger swaddling sheet - I used a cot sheet and it did wonders... it was also super tight which my DS loved.

Oh my word! I just joined MN, and this was one of the first ones i saw. I think meme might have over reacted a bit but i think that judging by the responses shes got shes probably got a point. poor lass. i hope she sticks to her word and doesnt read all your replys. id be gutted. who said anything about a belt?? you should be ashamed, how would you feel if some one said that to you about your parenting skills? sounds like her 'dd' just wants to get some sleep, she does'nt want a feed or anything else.

Just because her little one is 6 wks old, doesnt mean she needs a feed every few hours. mine were mostly through the night by then. Mind they werent breastfed.all babies are different sounds like she knows her own baby to me and didnt ask for advice about that side of things

just incase you do read this memes, seems like your feeling a bit low. we all have days like that and we get a bit short fused. do'nt worry, it gets over with. if shes a very busy sleeper, try a swaddle pod from mothercare. its like a little cotton sack with a zipper. my twins had them and would wriggle from one end of the cot to the other, but not wake up. chin up and i hope you find something that works.nothing worse than a baby who wants to sleep but cant.

depending on the reaction i get, i might not bother with mumsney either haha!!!

BATMAMA it was me who passed on the reccommendaton for the belt - MeMes asked for tips to keep her DD swaddled and apparently it's a good way of keeping the swaddling in place if your baby is a wriggler and keeps dislodging their swaddling - a serious suggestion - I got it from The Happiest Baby on the Block and the author got it from a mother who learnt it from her grandmother.... I wasn't suggesting she hit the DD with it or anything like that.

And some at your DC's sleeping through at 6 weeks - my DS is almost 2 and sleeps through 5 nights out of 7 now but it's been a long haul...

This is the first time I've been on a thread where the OP flounces.

All I can say is have a big fat

I was surprised that the baby could get out of the miracle blanket hence my post.

As for MN being bitchy, seems like someone was picking a fight. I mean, come on, huffing over swaddling?!!!! I've read other forums and they're just as "bitchy" but in a more fake smile kind of way. Ridiculous.

Just to add my tuppence worth. I've found this forum an absolute life saver and I'm incredibly grateful to those who have posted advice. OP- I think you should take the comments in the spirit they were intended- helpful advice which you asked for. If it's not for you, then no need to heed it. But it's unfair to attack those who were only trying to give their thoughts having been in the same boat. Most of us on here are a bit stressed or sleep deprived, or we wouldn't be haunting this board. So a bit of gentleness wouldn't go amiss.

FWIW, my DS got out of the miracle blanket quite often. Safety pins helped. Otherwise you could try a muslin to do the same thing as the inside arm bits- folded in a triangle. And then a bigger sheet over that. Or even a sleeping bag over it, with the arms tucked in

I'm sorry if my post was sniffy - it wasn't intended to be at all. I was only offering comments based on my experience.

KnitterNotTwitter - Harvey Karp made me smile when he said that the tightness of a swaddle blanket should be the same tightness as your maternity jeans are at 9 months of pregnancy.

Curiosity got the better of me so I came back to see if I had been lynched, which I have. Probably justifiably. TBH I read the first batch of comments really quickly and, as can sometimes happen with written communication, missed the point of them a bit. All I saw was 'your baby should be waking every 2 hours - you should be feeding her not trying to get her back to sleep' and 'you mustn't be doing it right, there's no way a small baby can get out of a swaddle.' . Clearly there was more to your posts than just these points.In anger I dashed off a response without thinking.

When I first read the replies, all I saw was 'she's not feeding her baby, but is trying to push her through the night', which was hurtful to me. Like I say, when I've re-read, that wasn't the implication. However, to give you a bit of background, having such a young baby who will sleep through the night at an early age (both mine have) seems to arouse suspicion amongst other people, particularly other mums, who assume that you must be ignoring/starving them through the night. Yesterday, my health visitor pretty much suggested this to me (''She's too small to go through the night without a feed, wake her up and give her one'') which left me feeling crap. She was quite small born you see, so people think I should be feeding her every 5 mins, but the reality is, she isn't interested, she just eats loads at one sitting! Hope you can see why I'm a bit touchy.

Thanks for all the top tips though - that belt thing sounds interesting, like Batmama, I had assumed you were taking the mick, but sounds great. Interestingly, I got one of those swaddlepods from mothercare yesterday, before it was suggested here, and - hooray- it worked!

She slept right through and woke up like a different baby this morning, poor little thing was just knackered from all that waking and thrashing about. She literally was at the other end of the cot though, god knows how she manages it.

I've only posted a few things, and have been struck by the fact that some people seem really helpful, and go out of their way to help, like (in hindsight!)you guys. But I've had some really arsey responses too, and notice that others have as well, so this contributed to my little rant - so I do stand by some of what I say. I just think that motherhood - especially if it's your first time - is pretty tough, and we should be kind to each other.

As it happens, I think you've all been very descent in offering me advice, even when
went off on one.

Anyway, I can see I've upset some people, and I'm sorry about that. ;)

Don't worry, MeMes - I know how it is when you're sleep deprived it's easy to jump to conclusions. We all do it.

You're right; when I said 'she should be waking every few hours', what I meant was 'don't worry about her waking every few hours, it's totally normal' rather than implying that you were trying to get her to sleep through the night. I can understand why you interpreted it the way you did though.

Congratulations on your baby and here's to plenty more nights of good sleep for you both.

KnitterNotTwitter, I meant to say thank you: it is always nice to have someone being the voice of reason!

sorry if i upset you, was just so peed off at health visitor, paranoia set in when i though others were implying the same thing! Note to self - read what is written!!

Not at all. My experience of HVs hasn't been very postive either!

Haha, know the feeling, she really upset me. My friend who is a midwife says my HV sounds a bit bonkers in some of the advice she has been giving me. How old is yours angel dog?

6.5 months now. Lots of people on here have had bad experiences of HVs, but I'm sure there are some good ones out there.

Agreed. My first was fab. Guess it's luck of the draw. Plus it seems like a pretty demanding job. Between six and seven months is a lovely age - if only we could keep em small for a bit longer. They grow waaay too fast.

Glad you came back MeMes, and that you found a solution that worked. So very envious of your sleeping babe - hope it carries on!

I'm also glad you came back MeMes, although I'm feeling at your baby sleeping through. Might have to get a swaddlepod myself tomorrow if she breaks out of the miracle blanket again tonight.

nightmare isn't it? We had to put ours in her cot in her own room because I was so scared she's topple her basket over! Those swaddlepods are very odd though. I feel like I'm zipping my baby into a condom - that's how it looks. She looks like a little wriggly caterpillar.

Hope she doesn't manage to work her way out of this one though - I'm running out of solutions. They are quite good in this warm weather too. With both the miracle blanket and traditional swaddling, I'm always concerned mine will overheat. These pod things are about as thin as you get.

Thanks, I was wondering how thick it was for that reason too. Will definitely be going to mothercare tomorrow I think.