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Sleep

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Original poster

Pick up put down, anyone tried it?

21 replies

ess · 21/08/2005 12:36

My dd is 6mo and has never gone into her cot awake. Shes had reflux whcih meant she wouldnt settle laying flat due to the pain so we would rock her with tumble dryer on!Now she is much better but we have got into the habit of still rocking her to sleep. I have tried leaving her in her cot half awake but she really has no concept of settling herself to sleep now. Id like to get her to settle herself but dont know where to begin. She currently has morning nap in pushchair out for walk and lunchtime nap in cot. She goes to bed 7ish and wakes about 4, if she wont settle we bring her into bed(want to stop this) and she sleeps till 7. Any ideas would be great please- dont want to leave her to cry it out though.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LilacLotus · 21/08/2005 12:40

i saw an episode of the baby whisperer the other week with a very similar story. she suggested not to rock/sway the baby too much on your arm as that makes the reflux worse. they also showed some special pillows or mattresses for in the cot so the baby wasn't completely flat.
hth.

weesaidie · 21/08/2005 12:44

I did pick up put down with mine when she was about 3 months. I wasn't strict about it though just did it on occasional nights. It worked quite well. Leave her for a couple of minutes, pick up, quick cuddle and then down again. It takes a few goes but eventually she'll be asleep and after a while you just put her down and off she goes. In my experience anyway!

I was going for the not picking up just stroking her to soothe her method but that did NOT work at all. She just kept crying, thats why I resorted to picking her up.

To be honest though she is now 16 months and sometimes wakes in the night (if teething or something) and I still bring her in with me! I am too lazy to do anything else and we sleep in the same room!

Original poster

ess · 21/08/2005 19:16

Thanks for the tips- shes getting too heavy to keep rocking to sleep!Think we'll give it a go this weekend. Should you start with her daytime naps first or just start in thee evening and do it with all her sleeps straight away?Does anyone know where Tracy Hogg has written this?Couldn't see it in her book anywhere really.

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weesaidie · 21/08/2005 19:37

To be honest I didn't start doing it with naps til fairly recently! The shame. I only did it in the evening and now she goes down for naps no problem, I think because she is used to it at night time.

It's probably less stressful to start doing it in the evening and then once she is used to that do it with the naps but if you do it all at once it'll be quicker!

Original poster

ess · 21/08/2005 21:37

Thanks weesadie, I'll have a think about it. To be honest she sleeps quite well once shes gone but life would be much simpler if she could settle herself.Will probably start it at weekend when DH is here too.

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Yanka · 22/08/2005 16:59

I would be interested if anyone tried this, followed exactly what Tracy says and it didn't work - we tried with DD when she was 14 weeks and she evetually got hysterical and cried continuously whether I held her or not. I couldn't take it and gave up after about 45 minutes. We are thinking of trying again (DD is a bit older at 18 weeks) - I hope she takes it better this time...

Original poster

ess · 22/08/2005 17:16

anka, how did your dd settle herself in end?- did it just happen naturally? I really dont want to put her through it if shell settle herself eventually.

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Yanka · 23/08/2005 10:25

I am afraid we gave her the dummy and shh-patted her to sleep - so all that effort (on our part) and suffering (on her part) were for nothing

This time we are preparing mentally to stick it out for her own good. Her naps are getting shorter and she is getting grumpier during the day. Shee obviously needs the sleep and we have to teach her how to settle herself, otherwise she will be miserable and so will we. Bank holiday weekend is coming, we are set to start on Friday - will post next week how we got on.

I found a few quotes from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, that I will have to put up in large letters on the wall while doing the PU/PD (so that I don't feel so bad):

I am teaching my child something important (to fall asleep on her own);
this crying is not a pain cry,
the problem would only get worse as she gets older and remedying it would be harder;
children who are well rested learn better;
the crying has an amnesiac effect so that children forget the learned behavior of needing help to fall asleep

Original poster

ess · 23/08/2005 14:06

We're starting Friday too! We will have to keep in touch and give each other some moral support. Let me know how you are getting on. Lets hope it works for both of us.

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Donbean · 23/08/2005 14:15

I remember doing this with my DS but he was older, he was standing up in the cot.
It was how i have always done things, it was my regular prescription for sleep problems (which have been continuous since birth).
I always went back to it and eventually it worked. Time and time again.
It gave me the confidence to think to myself, this is right because it works both on the telly and for us!
It gave me the information to know that i wasnt harming him in any way, and that it was a safe and proven practice that with persistant persistance it would pay off.
Ds also had reflux then colic, we bolstered his matress with a rolled up towel and bit the bullet.
Good luck, these are dark dark days if you have sleep problems, but be reassured that they do not last forever, ride the storm, the light at the end of the tunnel is just up ahead...honestly x

Yanka · 23/08/2005 20:01

Thanks Donbean, it's good to know that it worked not only on the telly

Original poster

ess · 25/08/2005 14:28

DD went to Gandmas last night. She had none of her usual bedtime routine, grandma put her on her back, awake, in her cot and within 5 minutes she was asleep and slept through til 7.30!!!!Can't believe it. We're going to try doing the same tonight and see what happens. Why do they do it for other people and not us?!

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Original poster

ess · 26/08/2005 12:51

Hi Yanka, well we gave it a go last night. Put her in her cot after a quick cuddle and put a nice cd on. It took 20 minutes and a few grizzles but it worked!She still woke up at 3am though but one step at a time. My dd still has a dummy but I think this helps soothe her. Hope it goes well for you tonight.

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SleepySuzy · 26/08/2005 13:02

I had to do it for 2 nights this week - the 3rd night she went down no probs! Woohoo!

Yanka · 26/08/2005 14:42

Wow girls, I am impressed!
So far, DD must have sensed that something is up because she has been behaving - she still wakes up at around 3am, but she settles herself without a peep. The next time she wakes is around 5am - then it depends on whether she pooed or not. If not, she goes back to sleep until 6.30. If she did, we are up for the day .
Yesterday she woke up during her dream-feed - that hasn't happened for a long, long time, so I was a bit worried because I expected crying and scenes - she surprised me because after 10 mins of grizzling she fell asleep on her own without a dummy!
DH and I have now decided that we are going to tackle the only remaining problem - her luchtime nap. She wakes two to three times during those two hours she is supposed to sleep, so we are going to experiment with not going to her at all, letting her settle on her own (she can obviously do it at night, so let's see what happens. Keep your fingers crossed for me and have a good bank holiday weekend!

Original poster

ess · 26/08/2005 22:17

Hope its a good weekend for you both with lots of sleep!DD was asleep within 2 minutes of going in her cot tonight(totally unheard of)!

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AnnieSG · 28/08/2005 10:23

Ess,
I tried it with number two - number one was a poor sleeper who never napped in a bed and I was so jealous of women who took their wide-awake babe away saying airily 'nap time!'
Anyway, I worked really hard at it for about a week and it worked brilliantly. The great thing is, you don't feel evil because you're there for the crying and you know it's just frustration and not abandonment that they're feeling.
I really highly recommend it!

Original poster

ess · 29/08/2005 21:25

Annie, thanks for the encouragement! We have been doing this since Thursday and sometimes it takes 20 minutes but today took an hour! Quite draining but going to keep it up. The only thing is shes still waking at 4 wide awake and will only go back to sleep if we take her in bed with us(I know!!). We're going to try and crack this once shes going down better.

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Yanka · 30/08/2005 12:59

Right, we have done sleep training this weekend, tackling DD's afternoon nap (always up after 45 minutes and took ages to settle). The first day it took one and a half hours of hysterical screaming (complete nightmare for everyone but she woke up smiling after a long uninterrupted sleep). The second day it took 20 minutes of crying (but no screams) and on the third day it took 10 minutes of grizzling before she got back to sleep. Today she resettled herself after 15 mins and a few shouts every now and then (we didn't even go to her as she seemed fine - we have a video monitor so I can watch her at all times).
Let's see how the week goes - hopefully this is a start of better times...

Original poster

ess · 30/08/2005 23:20

Yanka, glad things have started well, it is hard but has to be done really. We are doing quite well, we started thurs and dd slept through the night twice since then!Thought we hadnt heard her. Heres to a good nights sleep for both of us.

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busywizzy · 03/09/2005 17:32

Ess and Yanka, how is it going with the sleeping. My DS (5.5 months) settles well at night and for daytime naps but is in the habit of waking at about 4.00am. I know it's habit as he has slept through until 6.30-7am about half a dozen times in the past 3 weeks and also, when I feed him at 4.00am he still chatters to himself for ages in the cot before going back to sleep. Also when I do manage to settle him in the night without a feed, he sleeps until about 7.30am and I'm assuming he'd wake earlier than this if he was hungry at 4.00am?

How exactly does pick up put down work?

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