Desperate day - new baby does not sleep!

[Athrawes]

Thanks to the people who replied about husband in a different bed.
I have had a bloody awful day and need help.
One week old baby.
Baby snacked and would only snooze on me, between 10pm and 3am. He then did two 1.5 hr sleeps. Then slept between 8 am and 11 am. Between 11am and now 6pm he has not slept more than 20 minutes again on me. I am exhausted. I knew I would need to sleep when baby sleeps but he does not during the day. I feel like phoning the adoption people and offering him to someone else.
He isn't keen on being swaddled.

Are you trying to put him down to sleep? If so, then that's probably why.

My DS would only sleep on me the first few weeks, especially at night. So I let him. I would sit back, propped up with pillows and doze. You kind of have a super heightened sense of your baby so you should be fine.

In the day it was easier to put him down, wrapped up in a blanket, in a bouncy chair or moses basket. Gradually he'd be more comfortable being put down.

You poor thing: that sounds horrible.

When you say he doesn't like being swaddled, do you mean he fights it when you try to swaddle him? Most babies at this age do fight when you wrap them up, but still sleep better. It's often a few weeks before they welcome being wrapped up. (Although of course, some babies really don't like it.)

Do you have a sling? Try popping baby in it and going for a walk. Slings often work for the most difficult babies. If you've not got one, try putting him on your shoulder and walking around, or rocking with him in a rocking chair / on a birth ball / in your arms / dancing with him. Try any of these from 45-60 mins after he wakes up. He may prefer being on his stomach / side / upright rather than on his back.

A pram or car ride may do the trick.

None of these will allow you to sleep, but you could ask your DH to help (assuming he's on paternity leave), and anything you can do to help him sleep a bit will help him find it easier to go to sleep. When babies become very overtired they find it extra hard to drop off.

White noise may help, as may singing to him.

Harvey Karp's 5 Ss technique is great at dealing with crying or sleepless babies: see video here. There is a DVD you can get, and a book.

Sending sympathy and chocolate.

Speaking of chocolate, you've not been eating / drinking large quantities of caffeine, have you? That can have an effect (I knew someone whose new baby screamed for hours and hours and hours at once - she eventually realised that she'd drunk a whole can of Red Bull.

Iggly, I hoped you'd see this - I remembered you'd had similar problems. My DS was a champion sleeper at this age - he'd sleep in his Moses basket for several hours a time. It only started to go wrong at 3 weeks.

Thanks everyone Will try propped up sleep

Yes Angel it was a killer! In the end I gave up fighting it and just let him. It all seems so long ago now!! Because DS has silent reflux he much preferred being on me or DH. Even now he sleeps on his front with his cot on a slope.

As Angel says, babies do fight swaddling. You could try doing it once he's asleep - that was what we did. we got the mothercare swaddle blanket which is like a strait jacket!

Also the 5S thing was good although I never got the hang of it, DH did (handy as he could settle DS and give me a break every now and then).

Hi there

just wanted to add that my DD was very similar at this age and I remember being so shocked at how little she slept but I think its fairly normal. Now at 12 weeks she is a brilliant sleeper most of the time at night, has gone 8 hours through 3 times in the last week alone. We still swaddle now- she has never 'liked' it, or liked being put in the swaddle wrap but she sleeps better in it and for longer so is better for both of us

At this stage despite saying I would never co-sleep I would end up sleeping with her on me, propped up with pillows or next to me on the flat mattress with my arm around her... you have to do what you can to preserve sanity and sleep! and ditto the sling... I have the closer one and its still the only way DD takes her morning nap and I can actually move off the sofa occasionally. The first few weeks are exhausting but you will get used to less sleep, and his sleep will get better.... Good luck x

Another vote for the Miracle blanket from Mothercare from me. DS was in it till 5 months and we only changed because he got too big for it.

I didn't get a sling till DS was 9 weeks old and I seriously regretted not having one sooner.

Scarlett is right about getting used to the lack of sleep. At 6 months, DS now wakes far more frequently in the night than he did as a newborn, and I can't nap in the day, but back then I was wrecked, whereas now I can manage mostly normal functioning most of the time.

I also said that co-sleeping would be 'over my dead body' but it has saved my sanity on many occasions.

Well, good news is that he had a great night! Woke three times, fed - and I made sure I burped him mid feed, hot wAter bottle in Moses basket, soothed him asleep in my arms and back into cosy bed. It was like a different baby! I got at least six hours sleep - even if it was in bits. Think the effort to rock and settle and make his bed warm made the difference. Of course now it is day time he is all fractious again! But at least I feel human!
Thanks everyone.

Dr. Harvey Karp's method uses white noise as the Sshhhing. I've found that really works well along with the other 4 S's. There is this site you can download white noise for free.

It's at Colic Baby Bootcamp

I'm glad though that you finally had a good night!