Comforting Tips

[AimeeJ]

I've been advised to start with a bit of sleep training with my 3.5 month old - he's still waking a lot in the night and is using the boob to get back to sleep and for a bit of comfort, rather than for a proper feed. He has done at least 5 hours with out waking previously, but seems to have regressed terribly in the last 10 days. He's a big boy and doesn't need to be on the boob the whole time.

I've been told to feed him at the times I think he is hungry, but other than that, when we wakes, to try and settle him through other means - patting sometimes works as does and cuddle, but he's got tremendous will power when it comes to the boob, so any more tips of how to comfort him would be appreciated. He doesn't have a dummy, and I really don't want to give him one, but would do if this may help - or am I just creating another problem to deal with later?

Feeling a bit insane through lack of sleep, so something definitely has to give!

There is a 'sleep regression' around 4 months - babies' brains are working hard on the 19 week developmental spurt, which means they wake more often than they did before and they need feeding more often than they did before.

Babies at this age don't have 'will power when it comes to the boob' - if that's what they need to sleep, that's what they need. Babies need bf for comfort and to help them sleep as well as for nutrition, IMO!

During the 4 month regression, my DS used to wake once or twice a night, then woke 3 or 4 times for a few weeks during the 4 month regression. I just carried on feeding him every time he woke up and after a few weeks he went back to waking just once or twice without me doing anything.

If I were you, I'd try co-sleeping as you can doze through the feeds, which gives you so much rest than sitting by a cot patting a baby or trying other methods of comforting.

Virtually all the books on sleep say that sleep training before 6 months is a bad idea. Plus any 'training' programme is unlikely to work well during a sleep regression period as the babies' brains are so busy working on the developmental spurt.

Hang in there - I know it feels grim, but it WILL pass.

More info on the 4 month regression here, here, here and here.

Thank you!! We do co-sleep - partly because i'm too lazy/tired to get him back into his cot, even though it's right next to the bed!

I definitely don't want to leave him to cry - i just can't do it and I know if I don't feed him when he wakes, that he'll just wail and wail!

When he wakes at night there's sometimes whens he's genuinely hungry, and others where it's just a comfort suck (V. windy and disturbs himself a lot) Would a dummy help?? I really don't like them, but anything to preserve my sanity right now!

hairdryer? bouncing/rocking? inappropriately loud music?

all of those worked for us - if I could have fed her back to sleep every time she woke I would have done, but she only fed to sleep when she was really hungry (ie once/twice night) - otherwise we had to get creative. tbh the boob is easier than rocking (although DH gets to have a go)

good luck! I feel you 3-1/2 month sleepless pain

I might dig out the white noise - helped when he was very little!

A dummy might help. why not try one? and there's lots of good baby sleep advice on this website

Just marking my place on this thread.
I've got a nearly 19 week old doing exactly the same. He sleeps until about 11pm, then he is up about 4 times by 6 in the morning (used to wake twice a night).

Agh!! I feel your pain.

I'm still feeding to sleep, tbh, it's quickest and easiest. I'm too tired to do anything else. I am going to wait until 6 months and if he is still the same, I'll look into it then. I'm off to bed now to be honest, to see if I can get a couple of hours!

I hope things improve for you.