routines at 6 months- feel like a bad mum!

[kirriemummy]

Hi i was wondering if I could ask for some advice? I have no idea whether I'm being the worlds meanest mum or whether I'm making a rod for my own back!

My DD is 6 months old and she has been combination fed. When she was younger she used to go to sleep by being in a car seat, bounced in her baby bouncer, rocked by me, or fed to sleep. We have been dead lucky because once she was asleep at night she has always slept through. The problem is that she is now not sleeping at all unless I am holding and feeding her- at night even that is taking ages. I know that this is all mixed up with teething, but I also know that she shouldn't be relying on me to get off to sleep. If I put her inher cot if she is anything other than dead to the world asleep, she wakes up imediatetely and starts crying. I tried putting her in her cot and sitting next to her tonight and she cried for 2 and a half hours, onl stopping when I picked her up and cuddled her. Eventually I put her on the breast and she's asleep now. She normally sleeps from about 10.30 to about 9 am but it basically means that I dont get a moment to myself at all throughout the day or the evening- I know that sounds really selfish. She does nap through the day but she has a habit of waking up when I put her off my knee. My question basically is whether I should be sticking her to a routine and getting her into bed, hysterics or no at 8pm, or whether I should relax and let her decide when she needs to sleep, and if she can only do that when she's on my knee, then thats ok and perfectly normal. Any advice at all would be very welcome, I really haven't got a clue what the best thing to do is!

Thanks...

well, some people like routines and some don't.

personally, I don't think strict routines are a good idea (though loose ones can be good), but it will help if you help her to go to sleep on her own - there are various ways of doing this.

try moving her bedtime just by say half an hour a day. 10.30 to 8 is a big change

but finally, hey, 10.30 to 9am is BRILLIANT at 6 months. ds2 was waking 2 hourly at that age. if you need time to yourself, I suggest you get dad to help a bit.

Hiya, I have five children, my youngest is 20 months old now. I have always fed/cuddled my babies to sleep then taking them upstairs to bed, especially when they are were only 6 months old.

I think at that age my little girl only went to sleep at around 10.30/11pm, then woke a few times in the night for breastfeeds, she always went straight back to sleep.

I think putting your baby down at 8pm at night is too early, she's bound to wake up a few hours later because she'll be hungry.

Have you thought about giving your baby a comforter, all my children have had their favourite knitted blanket and toy at bedtime and my little girl's eyes close the moment she hears her seahorse lullaby toy at sleeptime...works magic.

What also worked for me was bathing my daughter before bed, then into her sleeping bag, feed, cuddle and then she would drift off to sleep, if she didn't have her bath she wouldn't settle.

HTH

Thank you! It's great to hear that someone else cuddles them to sleep!
Her dad helps to a certain extent but his hands are kind of tied in that she wont sleep unless I'm cuddling her. Also, I love him to pieces, but he does have a habit of complaining that he's had a hard day at work and that he is terribly tired when I ask him to take her for a while in the evenings ( this is the subject of an entirely different moan which I wont go into here...) It's good to hear that your both saying 8pm is too early - maybe its that I'm trying to make a square peg go in a round hole and I should aim for 10 pm instead. To get her to sleep without a problem I would normally give her a bath then a feed and she goes to sleep on my knee- I'm just worried that she'll do that instead of going to sleep on her own until she goes to school and her friends will laugh at her and she'll blame me, and our relationship will break down, and she'll leave home at 16 to become a topless model and never speak to me again... never let it said that I'm prone to overreaction! Anyway thank you for your advice and I'll try to chill out a bit about it!

Just enjoy the cuddles, this phase doesn't last very long. My daughter was in a moses basket in our bedroom until she outgrew it, then she slept in her own room.

When we put her down, we pressed the nightlight on her seahorse lullaby toy, showed her her favourite toys were there and left the room. She was usually so tired at bedtime that she just naturally fell asleep listening to the lullaby. (The one I bought for her was from Argos, it was so good I bought a spare in case one broke . I don't think that sitting by her cot would help much to be honest, she can see you and would naturally get really upset because she wasn't being cuddled.

As far as tired husbands go, don't even start...I've had years of that and have a meltown every now and again, where I just give up, take my handbag and go out for a walk, I usually end up shopping in Tesco , leaving so called 'tired' hubby up to his eyes in it!

Just thought you might like to see our 'magic seahorse' - I bought one for a family friend's baby and they love it too .

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3492426/Trail/searchtext%3ESEAHORSE.htm

thank you - i may well invest in a seahorse!

you're very welcome, I've just noticed the tonnes of brilliant reviews on the Argos website . Hope you're little one settles quickly for you and you get to enjoy some rest .