DS suddenly crying at bedtime - 17 weeks

[Susarella]

Up until this week bedtime has never really been an issue. DS has always been put to bed at 9 having been fed. He is usually asleep or dozey.Usually goes down fine.Wakes up at three for a feed and then wakes up again at fiveish and comes into bed with me until 7.

This week as soon as I put him in his crib he shrieks like a banshee!! This is the 7th night in a row he has done it & not really surewhat to do!!

He has 3-4 short naps throughout the day following feeds (very rarely longer than 40 minutes) and is exclusively breast fed.He usually drops off in my arms and then i put him on the safa or a big cushion.

He is winded halfway through the bedtime feed or not at all depending on how quickly he goes to sleep.

Have been doing 10 minute gaps of controlled crying a I am adamant that we will not come back downstairs once he goes up to bed but he just gets crosser and crosser until he's finally so tired he goes to sleep about an hour and a half after I take him up! Am usually very patient but this is really trying my nerves. Not sure if there is an actual problem or is he just trying to play me like a cheap fiddle?

He is incapable of 'playing' you - and he's too young for cc as well

Can you bring bedtime forward? Sounds like he's tired if he's going to bed at 9

No he's too little to be playing you - agree he could be tired, DS2 went through similar, he was overtired. I also tried to cut the day naps back a bit, so no sleep after 4pm initially so he was tired enough for bed at around 7pm.

Sometimes it's just developmental stuff, you just have to ride it out!

My DD is also 17 weeks and we have hit a rough patch - I think it's either developmental or a growth spurt - so I know how you feel.

Dd used to go to bed sometime between 8.15 and 9pm and pretty much sleep thru until 5.30. Now bedtimes have gone to pot - me and DH are up and down the stairs re-settling her on and off for 1.5 hours after she goes down. Last night she was then awake wanting a feed at 11.30 (i had only one to bed at 10.30 so was in a nice deep sleep by then . Then she slept until 5.15 when she woke up gurgling away. I fed her and she continued to 'chat' for age, then looked tired and couldn't seem to settle so I gave in and let her have more boob to get her to sleep. Finally she dropped off at 7.10 and is still sleeping now at 10am

It's almost impossible to get any kind of consistency going as her pattern seems to be changing almost daily at the moment - although she has been doing the 2 hour awake at 5am for about a week now

Just need to ride this out I think - but you are not alone - and this WILL get better!

I have been trying to bring bedtime forward for a while but he just won't go down before half eight/nine. He never naps after 4 usually and doesn't sleep much during the day. Will try "stay & settle" instead tonight.

Thanks for your support & suggestions!

It sounds as if he's overtired. Most babies this age can't stay awake for more than 1.5 - 2 hours at this age without becoming overtired. If his last nap ends at 4, try putting him to bed between 5.30 and 6pm. He may wake again, in which case you can either treat that as an extra nap, or try to re-settle him as if it's a night waking. At this age, I think my DS would have a last nap around 5.00 - 5.45 pm and then be asleep at bedtime by around 7ish.

In general, most babies are supposed to go to sleep most easily with a bedtime between 6 and 8pm (although there are always exceptions!)

Anything you can do to help him sleep during the day will very likely help - although there may not be much you can do about the length of naps. I sympathise as my DS was & still is a short napper.

Books which recommend controlled crying say not to do it before six months (some say a year).

This is 4 month sleep regression territory, too, when babies' brains are working hard on the 19 week develompental spurt. There's not much you can do about this, but it will pass. See here, here, here for more info.and here.

Thanks - the earlier bedtime seems to be working.He is in bed by 8 but still crying for a long time before he goes to sleep - I am staying with him until he falls asleep and occasionaally rubbing his tummy and saying that it's sleepy time softly. i get him out if he gets really cross and then put him back down when he is quiet but he still starts crying again - I guess i'm just going to have to persevere and help him realise that he needs to sleep when he is put to bed.

His behaviour isn't at all differenet during the day - still a happy smiley and playful baby - an absolute joy!!

Thanks again for the advice and the links were really helpful!!

Feeding to sleep often stops working around 4 months, I've heard. You could try rocking / bouncing / jiggling him to sleep; that would be better than him crying for long periods: he's too young for that really. Your approach sounds like a reasonable one for a baby 6 months or older.

Glad the links were useful!

Now I don't want to jinx things...but DD managed to settle to sleep tonight without being fed to sleep and without crying!

I decided to change things last week as feeding to sleep was starting to not work as angeldog has also mentioned and her bedtimes had really gone to pot. I was stressed about it as the feeding to sleep would work initially but DD would be crying within 10 mins and would be hard to re-settle without more boob (bedtimes were taking up to 2 hours). She had previously been quite good at settling.

So, last Thursday I did the usual rountine and after feeding her I rocked her gently on my shoulder until very drowsy, put into crib and she cried/whinged for over an hour on and off (sometimes escalating into full-on screaming - which I actually think was probably out of frustration at me changing things!) but I stayed with her, shushing in her ear really loudly and rubbing her chest with my hand - she eventually went to sleep and stayed asleep until about 5am. Friday it took 30 mins. Saturday 20. Tonight I did the same, but put her down much less drowsy, in fact pretty much awake, and she settled in 20 mins with my hand on her chest and gently shushing on and off.

I am hoping that we are onto something here and that this isn't just a fluke. Tomorrow I will do as tonight, but try to keep the hand contact and shushing to a minimum.

I just wanted to say that last week I was really down about her bedtimes and was almost dreading them, but already I feel much calmer (which maybe helped her to be calm) and I wanted to give you hope that there is light at the end of every tunnel and you will get there again as you know DS can do it...