HELP!!! HOW ON EARTH DO YOU TEACH A BABY TO SELF-SETTLE?

[jinglesticks]

I just don't understand this. I have a good bedtime routine with my (nearly)6 month old dd, but still I always have to resort to rocking and singing her to sleep which sometimes now takes over 2 hours. I try to put her down sleepy but not asleep and she shows no sign of settling herself. She cries, or plays with bedding or rolls about and tries to crawl which just gets her all frustrated and leads to crying and I give in and rock her to sleep.

She has just recently stopped sleeping through the night and I think its because she can't settle herself back to sleep when she wakes up, and now she needs feeding and/or rocking 2 or 3 times a night to get her back to sleep.

I really want to help her learn to settle herself but I just don't understand where I go from here.

Thanks for advice.

I didn't try tbh, I just fed them to sleep until they were much older. There was no problem later on, this rod for your own back thing is nonsense.

Of course, if your dd won't feed to sleep that isn't very helpful, sorry.

It depends.

Do you think you can leave her to cry for a bit?

I did pick up put down.

You put them in cot, they complain, you pick them up and cuddle until calme, but in cot, they complain.

repeat for hours the first few nights and then it kicks in.

also waking in the night just happens with children, my DS slept really well to begin with but things changed.

I fed DD1 to sleep for the first 9 months. Every time I tried to get her to sleep on her own she was the same so I gave up, fed/rocked her until she was well out and then put her in her cot. It was actually much easier once I resigned myself to doing this as it took mayeb half an hour but she was down for the night, from about 9-10 months she was fine.

I got DD2 self settling with music toys /toy books in her cot that she could play with before going to sleep.

How is she for naps?

Honestly think it depends on the baby. My dc3 (23 weeks) settles like a dream. I would be very smug indeed were it not for the fact that my dc1 needed rocking/back rubbing to get to sleep until 18 months.

Maybe try what Cargirl said (sorry, I'm not very helpful!)

TBH I would continue rocking her but not until she is actually asleep, then when she complains rock but again just until she is relaxed so she gets used to going to sleep just being cuddled and not actually rocked, then move onto the not being cuddled if you need to.

Also is she sleeping enough or too much during the day as that can have an impact on how easily they go to sleep in the evening.

Thanks for the advice - its good just to hear that this is normal. I do think she settles better when she's had a good ammount of napping during the day, so I'm trying to work on that too - again by rocking and/or feeding to sleep. I might try pick up put down, because I can't put up with 2 hour rocking sessions for much longer.

Thanks a lot for the advice

TBH the day I thought, fuck it, I'll just get ehr to sleep, after a week of pick up put down not working, I felt so much better!

If you can get her to accept just cuddling at least you can get into bed with her and have a lie down at the same time

A comfort blanket might work. Give her a muslin cloth to rub on her face/cuddle up with. I started this with both of mine around the same age and they both use them still (age 4 and 2) to help settle themselves to sleep.

I've been feeding my 10mo DS to sleep for every nap/bedtime for the last 2 months since illness and now he won't self settle at all. He is now waking every 2 hours through the night which is driving me crazy.
So 2 days ago I went out while he was napping and his granda was listening to the monitor. 2 mins after I go out he wakes up and my dad picks him up, cuddles a bit and puts him back. He cried for 10 mins in his cot so my dad shut the door and left him to it.
Result? I come back 15 mins later to a sleeping baby, my dad says 'oh he wasnt upset just a bit annoyed that I'd left him'. For each nap and sleep since I've popped him in his cot awake, he has had a wee cry and then goes off to sleep. I'm hoping this will help with the night waking, so here goes.....nice one dad!

After feeding/rocking DS to sleep at bedtime and 2 to 3 hourly through the night for a year I recently started trying a combination of pick up put down and gradual withdraw.

We started 2 weeks ago, first with bedtime and once he'd cracked that each sucessive waking. Just the 5am-ish one to go now . I started seeing results within a couple of days - much less stress at bedtime and random 'missed' night wakings.

Within the last two weeks his sleep has improved dramatically. He's now only asking for me at 1 or 2 am every second or third night and at 5 or six am daily. I wish I'd done it earlier.

TBH after how it was this has been an almost totally stress free process.

lol. withdrawal

purple thats what I would describe as the dreaded controlled crying! Used it with both of mine and they sleep (generally speaking) really well.

My just gone 1 yr old is learning to settle himself ....a bit. I put him in his cot awake but sleepy and he went to sleep without cuddling/feeding or singing. A great achievement! I'm taking the lead from him and not forcing anything. No great help, I'm afraid.

It might be the heat that's waking her recently. Ds2 has been waking more than usual.

Would watch how long day naps are. If ds sleeps over a certain amount of tome in day I just know I'll have a battle in the eve as he simply will not be tired enough.

This phase will pass soon! Hope you catch up on some sleep

I used to breastfeed DS to sleep until he learned to settle himself after about a year. If you don't find your routine a problem -relax and enjoy. It soon changes.

I did find that he went through a stage of crying for five minutes ish before sleeping. Any longer than this and he wasn't going to settle. You kind of know which cry is which though after a short while.