Anyone felt the 'fear' - and managed to get over it?!

[Bortusesmoustache]

We're going in the Easter holidays and I've got the wobbles already. I first went skiing when I was in my early 30s - it was a fairly awful trip with horrible snow conditions (freak warm weather, ice everywhere, black and red runs closed so all the fast skiers bombing down the blues etc). I was absolutely terrified on a couple of occasions. I then avoided it for a couple of years before agreeing to go again for a weekend with some friends, cue more awful weather... thick fog this time, all weekend, and again I was scared. I also had rental boots that fitted so badly I lost both my big toe nails!

But, my husband loves it, so I agreed to try again last year, this time with two kids in tow. Kids, predictably, loved it. And I did sort of enjoy myself... snow and weather conditions were much better, friendly, quiet resort with no crowds, lovely middle-aged female instructor who was v patient with me. So we've booked to go to the same place again at Easter, but I'm feeling v nervous already. Is there anything I can do? I've read a couple of books and have even tried a self-hypnosis download but it only seems to make matters worse!

I have been 3 times and I panic every time I go too fast. I am afraid of heights and when we went too high last year in the USA I cried all the way down. I even took my skis off and walked. I then stuck to the green runs with the. Whinnies of my group- we went as a school. It gave me back my confidence but it is limiting.

Should read beginners!

Honestly, OP, being this afraid of something which is optional, occasional and expensive really isn't worth it. And you should not allow your self to be pressganged into a holiday where the best you can hope for is 'sort of enjoying it', and the worst is naked terror.

I hate skiing, and DH and DS love it. So they go by themselves. It has never even occurred to me go on a holiday specifically for the purpose of doing something I really don't enjoy.

Yes me!

I went on my first ski trip in my late 20s and really struggled, mainly due to a fear of heights, I made very little progress in that first week

I went again once in my 30s when our DC were young and have got gradually more confident each time I've been since and now (age 44!) I totally love it!

I persevered coz my DH loves skiing and I was lucky enough to have some very patient friends!

I honestly believe that anyone can get past 'the fear' but it can take a lot more days of skiing for some of us than others

Could you enjoy the holiday for other reasons? Maybe do a few very simple runs that you’ll feel more comfortable with (stick with the beginners), but otherwise drink a lot of hot choc and booze, eat lovely things, read a book?

Poor DH really didn't pressgang me into the holiday! I was honestly up for going again until a few days ago, but as we get closer to the date I'm starting to get properly nervous. I told DH that and he was mortified, the last thing he wants to do is force me into a holiday I won't enjoy!

It's really reassuring that you got there in the end shagged. I really feel like I could enjoy it if the 'fear' would just bugger off, if that makes sense? I will definitely try to make the most of the holiday, as Littlelongdog suggests, but will just be frustrated with myself for not conquering the nerves.

Why don’t you book a lesson? Then you will have a bit more of a gentle start with someone looking after you? It might help get you over the fear? And then just stick to the greens until you are TOTALLY happy- don’t feel forced onto the harder slopes until you are comfortable

Agree with mrbob that lessons are a great idea

It is such a fun holiday if you can get past the initial difficulties!

No, I listened to it. I know lots of people who have broken various parts of them from skiing. Sometimes fear is there for a good reason.

I would get some private lessons you can be towed along with group lessons perhaps faster than you would like. 1:1 would allow you to go at your own pace without feeling you were holding others back

I had a nasty accident on a dry ski slope when learning and was black and blue for weeks.
I never regained my confidence and would panic whenever I started to move even on snow on the nursery slopes.
I would so love to ski though and gaze with envy at tiny tots flying down at fast speeds . It makes me feel a bit pathetic !

Oh and v old ,

Private lessons already booked with same lovely instructor I had last time. I think my main fear is just hurtling out of control (and breaking something, which, as Lumene pointed out, is pretty rational), so think maybe if I practise picking up a bit of speed and then stopping, over and over again, that would help!

It makes me feel really old too flapjackfairy. I used to be totally fearless when I was younger, and did all sort of 'adventurous' sports without a care in the world. Then came motherhood, middle-age and overthinking...

OP have you tried reading "Skiing with Confidence" by Kay Gill? She is an experienced skiier & NLP coach who suffered for years with a fear of skiing.
To be honest when I first started reading it I thought it wouldn't made much difference but some of her recommendations really worked for me & helped keep me calm when otherwise I would have panicked. It's not the most professional writing style & there are a few text errors but I'd say it really helped me enjoy skiing more this year. Its not a long book either so wouldn't take masses of time to get through it & you can keep dipping into it.
I'd also recommend booking a 1to1 lesson & working on some of the things you struggle with most. good luck!

Please do come back and let us know if it worked! I love skiing but last time we went I got the fear - just couldn’t do it. I had it a bit the first time we skied after having dc but got over it. I would love to know if lessons might be the answer although I think some of mine is fitness related as well

I've read the Kay Gill book but I can't remember much of it, so will read it again before I go. I've been trying to do the accompanying hypnotherapy mp3 but not having much luck with it.... Kay in her soothing voice: "You are feeling more and more relaxed..." Me, in my head: "No I'm bloody not!"

I will definitely report back PhannyMcNee, one way or the other!!

If you have time to do an improver clinic (or private lesson) with Inside Out at Hemel snowdome before you go this keeps the fear safely in check for me! Or even just a slope pass to do a few turns before you go and remind yourself that you still can...!

I dont understand why you're putting so much pressure on yourself, there are no prizes to be won

Just give it a try on the first day, if you're not keen just go tubing /skating /sit and look at the mountain with a book.

I’ve made my peace with just not enjoying it! I still go as my husband and kids love it but I no longer ski. I meet them for lunch, we all go for a swim together a couple of afternoons and obviously we all eat together in the evenings.

It’s enjoy myself far more now that I’m not putting pressure on myself to enjoy the actual skiing!

Yes me too! But I’m much better. A couple of years ago I got to the point where I would only being skiing for a couple of hours a day; eating lunch on my own and going home with the 4 year olds in our group because i was too scared to ski with the grown ups. Now I’m up to full days, (small) jumps and even the occasional black. Things that helped me - getting fit, lessons (but not too many) and pushing myself a bit. Problem is if you stay too safe and then hit something a bit tricky you can’t cope with it. But also enjoying it - lots of stops for coffee, hot choc , small beer . Also learn to slip slide really really well - gets you out of anything !

Have you thought about getting some protective gear - back protector, protective shorts to cover bum and thighs... this might boost your confidence that if you do fall you might not hurt yourself. I have them as I have osteoporosis and was super nervous of breaking something - it does give you reassurance.

Oh, good idea Cls298, I did try on a back protector but couldn't get it to sit comfortably in the boob region. Was going to try a different style - can you recommend anything in particular?

I wear a bodyforce protective shorts and a Salomon Women's Flexcell back protector. Although I have spotted some excellent value (much cheaper) protective shorts and back protector in decathlon.

I'm currently on a ski holiday with my husband & kids, all of which would love me to join them on the slopes but I can't get past the fear , so now I book unto snow shoeing group tours , that way your out either all morning or afternoon & you feel like you've done some really good exercise & at the same time taken in the beautiful scenery.
If I go in the morning It usually finishes around 12.30 & I join them for lunch somewhere.
Might be worth giving it a go!

One of our book group goes on a ski holiday with her family every year - and doesn't ski ! Says she has a great time , reading books, going to the pool, having a walk -then picks them up from the slopes early afternoon. Its the lift pass, ski hire and lessons that make skiing holidays so expensive so if you're only planning to do a little bit and not enjoying it, then maybe don't bother.

Other than that a resort specifically for beginners is the best option. We all had a great time at Montgenevre last year as there was loads of easy runs and it was very quiet.