when children so skiing they always....

[greygirl]

1. lie down when I am trying to put their ski boots on them 2)use ski poles to 'poke snow'. even on day 5 when they should be bored of it now. 3)fall over with their feet pointing in opposite directions (making it harder to pick them up and sort them out) 4)go floppy when I try to pick them up and stand them up having fallen over 5)take off their gloves and goggles at every opportunity, no matter how daft 6)refuse to turn, and go bombing straight down any hill.
2. eat their emergency chocolate at the end of a lesson.

Any gems from your kids? Mine loved skiing but trying to get them out in the mornings was like herding cats. Badly behaved cats at that. All i shouted each morning was 'stand up, don't lie in a puddle' 'don't take your gloves off' 'where is your helmet?' ' 'stop poking that' 'don't hit your sister with a pole' 'please try and carry at least one ski...'

Does anyone manage to get their kids out easily? (and i'm not sure i need to hear about posh companies that do it all for you).

Try letting them learn without the poles. Liberating. They dont need poles, unless they do cross country skiing.

They don't have their OWN poles.
They steal mine and then scrap with them.
We have a lot of pole envy in our family....

Dunno how old your kids are but I'm here to tell you it doesn't get any better as they get older.
I've just been away with 6 kids (not all mine, I hasten to add!) from 13 - 15. Teenaged boys are the worst - constant showing off and trying to cut each other up, not to mention that oh-so-funny trick someone taught them of pretending to drop your skipoles off the chairlift when actually they're attached to your skis. Except for the time when one of them hadn't actually attached them to his skis and they fell into a ravine.
And DD the girls weren't any better. Whingeing for help in putting their skis away in the locker because "they keep falling over," and "I don't need a hat this evening, I'll be fine, stop fussing."
And as for DH...

clam

Take the poles away (unless they are good skiers aged 8+). You hold the emergency chocolate. Make them ski out of the Chalet from the door of poss; make them put their own boots on (my impossibly stroppy 5 yr old can do this)

Drink more gluwein. Eat more good chocolate.

Put their own boots on?! My impossibly stroppy DH can't seem to manage this without my help to do them up, because he's "at the wrong angle." He invariably waits until I have my skis on and am ready to go before he asks too.

my dd moaned about every part of skiing , but then again so did i , what a load of hassle it is !! worst holiday i ever went on tried it about 3 or 4 times never again ! give me a beach or city break any day !!!

When children are skiing they always...

1. announce they need a wee at precisely the moment you have just finished putting their boots, helmet, goggles and skis on.

1. Bomb off at break-neck speed when you have just explicitly made clear that we are waiting here until the others catch up.

1. Get on the chair lift too soon with random stranger and you are left there wondering WTF happened to the small person you were just having a conversation with.

1. Don't go through the release gate at the same time as you and therefore you are on the chairlift with a random stranger wondering WTF happened to the small person you were just having a conversation with.

1. When particularly small (say, under 5) and don't know how to stop, they have a major strop shouting "Get Off Me" as you try to ski with them between your legs whilst they wriggle around like a bag of cats trying to escape in order to be free to cruise the piste untamed. This is usually accompanied by many concerned passing skiers wondering if you have abducted said child and sizing you up to report to the police.

We have pole-wars here too. DS2 (7) is prone to major tantrums if he is asked to leave his poles at the chalet. Personally, I think it is easier to ski with DCs without poles - it makes getting on and off chairlifts much easier, tis one less thing to pick up when the DCs take a tumble on the piste, and rather crucially it is one less thing for me to carry. I learnt to ski as an adult and found that I ski'd better without poles during the learning process anyway. Nowadays, in the absence of lessons and in an attempt to keep up with DH, I need the damn things to lean on and recover!

clam - I am imagining the cats bum face I would pull at any grown up asking for help with their boots - other than complete novices. And it sounds as though DS1 is at the same stage as your DDs...I am bracing myself for the evening DS1 appears in jeans, t-shirt and trainers, hair side-swept to perfection, before announcing that he will not be requiring the services of either a jacket, hat or boots en route to the restaurant because "it's not that cold, Mum".

I'm to say that he is not a novice - 10 or so years' experience?
But it is a bit like having a third child.

Mine loved it too but it's not relaxing is it? My 6 year old has the world's most extreme snow plough, he uses it to great effect hurtling down red runs in a straight line. My main problem was getting enough suncream on them, it was bloody boiling.

Picking them up when they are lying in stranded turtle position and you are on a snowboard is also delightful. Our ski poles were abandoned as well until I realised I could get payback by making him haul me over the flat bits on my board ;-)