Mumsnet swearing policy

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,
We've had a few complaints about obscene language on the boards. Our policy on this is that we would appreciate it if people would keep foul and abusive language to a minimum and that if you feel it necessary to swear to make your point then use asterisks please - as some of you may remember Tech did try to automate this once but it caused havoc as the programme deleted all sorts of legit words that contained an abusive one .

Anyway we don't want to be over-prudish about this - we're not talking minor offenses here - and sometimes (parking attendant, gp receptionist annecdotes etc etc) we agree that nothing else but a swear word will do but it's a fair point that lots of members look at mumsnet with kids who may be early readers at their side and as the saying goes... less is more sometimes, so if you could use your discretion it would be much appreciated.

Ta very much.

one even!

JT

I hear they struggle to hold on to cooking sherry in her house

and don't ever come back!

Slinks off ......................shuflling...pathetically...........in all truth..........glad of the chance to go to bed, but may remember and be hurt if the situation requires it at a later date

Justine, I trust there will be no foul language at the MN HQ meeting tomorrow. Just cucumber sandwiches (no crust) and some peppermint tea, right ?

menu for the meeting

Buttered bread
Ugli fruit kebabs
Glace Cherrys
Guacamole Eels (jellied)
Rosti (potato)

Offel burgers
Flambe bananas
Focaccia bread

Message withdrawn

Pruni: check your writer's block... I've had another good'un.

Can I say "oh poopooplops" ?

No, not at the meeting, moo.

pmsl at Spam Javelin and few of the others. Majestic Majenta thingy arf arf, wicked ladeez

poor old ponsonby probably c*m in 'is pants

and 101 stresspuppy really is a foul mouthed fish wifey

Honest to Gd (gd for the agnostics) you can't make this stuff up.

This arrived in my e-mail today from a mate, full of ideas that we can all use in live with the new policy

Dear Colleague.

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do, however realise the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in
an effective manner.

1. TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
   INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f* you're doing.

2. TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
   INSTEAD OF: She's a f**g b**h

3. TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
   INSTEAD OF: And when the f* do you expect me to do this?

4. TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
   INSTEAD OF: No f*ing way.

5. TRY SAYING: Really?
   INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh*tting me!

6. TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
   INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh*t

7. TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project
   INSTEAD OF: It's not my f*ing problem.

8. TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
   INSTEAD OF: What the f*?

9. TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
   INSTEAD OF: this sh*t won't work.

10. TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF: Why the f* didn't you tell me sooner?

11. TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
    INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ar*e

12. TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
    INSTEAD OF: Eat sh*t and die.

13. TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass

14. TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF: F* it, I'm on salary.

15. TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass

16. TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF: This f*ing job sucks.

17. TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the f**k died and made you boss?

18. TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF: He's a p*k

Thank You,

Human Resources

Happymerryberries I couldn't resist, i cut and pasted the try sayings to email to friends.

It had me laughing so much

My personal fav being no 15!

Honestly sent to me today by a mate!

ha ha ha at this thread! Ewww at tea towel holder!

oh f !!"£$")&(%$$&(&())))&&&(&(%(&(&%$&())(&(&&%&$&)()__+(&)(+))O(&%&?

anyone agree?

My fav was n0.6 LOL.

does this mean i can no longer post?

PMSL PSS.

I am f'8ing sad I b*g8ering well missed this the first time

but am wetting my floral pants as I type