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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Dear MN Towers re bottle feeding/breast feeding.....

30 replies

georgimama · 05/01/2009 16:38

Is there any way there could be a topic for each? Because I really do think that half the rucks on here start because the two are lumped together, and really they have nothing to do with each other.... FF who get upset about BFing threads could then hide the whole topic and vice versa.

Anyone agree? Or not - without starting a FF v BF debate?

OP posts:
traceybath · 05/01/2009 16:40

a very good idea.

if you're bf it would be nice to get support and a pat on the back if you've struggled through adversity without getting the feeling that others may think you're smug.

equally would be nice if ff to get advice on bottle feeding issues.

whitenoise · 05/01/2009 16:41

or rename it feeding your baby and have weaning in there too?

FAQtothefuture · 05/01/2009 16:41

No I don't think that's a good idea, what about mixed feeders? People who want advice on switching from BF to FF - which one do they post in?

FAQtothefuture · 05/01/2009 16:42

think whitenoises's idea is a good one, as often "weaning" encompasses how to wean off the breast/bottle as well as weaning onto food.

Original poster
georgimama · 05/01/2009 16:44

In either I suppose FAQ. I just think there are some people (including me) who get quite het up about the whole thing and I would love to able to hide FFing threads but I can't.

OP posts:
FAQtothefuture · 05/01/2009 16:45

but then if someone is "hiding" the BF topic (for example) they may not see threads that they could help on with regards to bottle feeding if it's a BFer wanting to swtich (for whatever reason).

NorktasticNinja · 05/01/2009 16:50

Last time we discussed this the idea of changing the name to milk feeding (or infant feeding).

I like that idea, it would probably help with the adversarial atmosphere that is often found in that topic. Feeding ones baby is such a sensitive and emotionally loaded thing and poster really need to be able to be supported in a place that feels safe.

Splitting FF and BF wouldn't really work IMHO, what with mixed feeding, moving from BF to FF and people who post because they haven't decided how to feed yet.

Original poster
georgimama · 05/01/2009 16:51

True, and of course no one needs to hide either. I just wonder whether separating them would be better... possibly not. I don't know.

OP posts:
TarkaLiotta · 05/01/2009 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gloriamumble · 05/01/2009 17:01

Can we define our terms? Do you mean bottle feeding ie expressing every feed and feeding breast milk in a bottle which I did for the best part of 16 weeks because DD couldn't/wouldn't latch and I was DETERMINED she would have the/any advantages of breast milk (and which, incidentally, I found a complete bloody nightmare) or formula feeding?

I used to get so depressed and upset (literally) when I occasionally braved the topic in question that "bottle feeding" was used as a synonym for formula feeding.

TBH with the benefit of hindsight I'm not sure why I was so upset - PND probably didn't help to put it mildly - but just in case there is one person reading this in my position, there is a perfectly good term for those who formula feed; it's "formula feed" it is not necessarily "bottle feed".

Original poster
georgimama · 05/01/2009 17:02

Sorry, I mean formula feeding. I don't think the mechanism by which the baby receives BM is the devisive issue, it's whether they receive it at all.

And you sound like a complete star, Gloria.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 05/01/2009 17:09

I can't think of a good reason to split it that outweighs the good reasons to keep it one topic. You'd end up with "You're a breastfeeder, wtf are you posting HERE for?" on threads (and vice versa, probably ).

NorktasticNinja · 05/01/2009 17:10

Oh, I also don't think that putting weaning in with discussion of milk feeding would be a Good Thing.

MNHQ
LittleTownofBethleHelenMumsnet · 05/01/2009 17:13

Hi everyone.

You've all raised some seriously good points and we promise to take them all on board and have a proper discussion about this once everyone at MNHQ is back after the Christmas break (yes, some of them are still away )

In the meantime, however, I thought I'd say that we have considered this a few times before and have always come down against splitting the topic - for pretty much the reasons hunkermunker just outlined.

Gloriamumble · 05/01/2009 17:14

Thank you. It was bloody hard work and tbh was a relief when I finally completely gave up expressing when DD was 6 months, though I did cry when the bloke came to collect the milking machine

Its the issue I most often worry about when thinking about trying for a second DC - I feel passionately about babies being fed breastmilk but I know I couldn't spend all that time expressing if the second couldn't latch...i suppose some of that feeling's why i get upset about the bottle/formula feeding terminology confusion.

FGS am crying now and DD is 2 YEARS old

Flamespar · 05/01/2009 17:32

I'm with whitenoise.

It would be like spitting nappies and potty training into cloth and disposable... at the end of the day (if truth be told ), they are all just ways of covering arses as feeding is all ways of getting stuff in gobs.

liath · 05/01/2009 17:36

Gloriamumble, if it helps at all I had a nightmare time trying to get dd to latch on. She never did and I ended up expressing for her until she was 12 weeks (well done to you managing to 6 months!).

I was so apprehensive about trying to feed my second baby but Ds was a completely different kettle of fish - he just seemed to know what to do from the start and breast fed until 14 months old .

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 06/01/2009 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LackaDAISYcal · 08/01/2009 13:02

just seen this...I don't think they should be split for all the reasons already listed, but like the mental healthe threads have a disclaimer, maybe a wee note underneath the topic header along the lines of:

"How we choose (or otherwise) to feed our children is an emotive issue. Please respect other's choices and take into account any unspoken difficulties in BFing before making any adverse or controversial comment" It might just get people thinking a bit more before they post.

And I say this as a (variously( failed BFer, then mixed feeder and now exclusive BFer who has caused upset to someone in the past by a flippant remark about nighttime formula.

The other thing is, if an individual thread has you chewing your knuckles in order to stop yourself from posting you can always hide that thread.

rolandbrowning · 08/01/2009 13:09

Yes something does need to be done, I would never post about ff as I would be too scared of someone having a go at me and it would bring back all the anguish I suffered when bf.

LadyMuck · 08/01/2009 13:10

With Hunker on this one - dividing the topic is probably more likely to increase rucks, especially as mixed feeding is common enough at some point.

A disclaimer sounds good - "Please remember that many of the posters in this topic are still highly hormonal and sleep-deprived, but in reality are mums looking to do the best that they can".

LackaDAISYcal · 08/01/2009 13:19

i like your disclaimer ladymuck

the sleep deprived bit is describing me to a T at the minute

welliemum · 08/01/2009 21:51

Disclaimer sounds good!

I'd also say, to anyone who formula feeds and feels "got at", do call people on it - if you feel able to, I realise it might feel too raw - because no-one should be attacking formula feeders, on any thread or forum.

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 09/01/2009 15:48

Hi all,

We've discussed the suggestion about splitting the breast/bottlefeeding section into two separate topics.

And the MNHQ consensus was that they should stay together.

We think that the 'ruck' potential is outweighed by the fact that, this way, posters can gain useful information that they might otherwise not see (whether that's about breastfeeding or bottlefeeding or a combination of both).

And LadyMuck, we'll give your disclaimer idea some thought - even though y'all gave us such flack about the AIBU disclaimer the other day!

Aitch · 09/01/2009 15:53

disclaimer idea is a good one.

gloria, my friend's ds1 just Would Not Latch at all, so she expressed for an heroic 12 weeks. she's just had ds2 and he's feeding like a trouper. well done you, but please don't think it'll happen again. i was crapola at feeding dd1 but have (more or less) been bfing prem dd2 for five months. you can't bf if the other guy's not playing ball, it's impossible.