If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies, please do it here so folks can hide this if they want to.

[LittleDonkeyCarrieMaryMumsnet]

Well hopefully the title says it all. There's been a suggestion, and we agree, that as we did with Baby P and the Mc Canns we just have one thread where anyone who feels they still have anything to add on this subject can post and those who'd rather move on can hide it away.

It feels strange to put this thread in site stuff as we are definitely not wanting to encourage further discussion of Moldies (we have presents to wrap too you know ) but we weren't sure where else to put it.

We will delete any new Moldies threads that are started, so please feel free to report them in case we miss any (what with wrapping the presents and all...)

And if you do want to carry on the discussion please remember that Mumsnet's here to make everyone's lives easier and not the reverse, and that Christmas is a time of goodwill to all mumsnetters past, present and future

Thanks,
MNHQ

Horton - that is GOOD news. Our living room has an abundance of four-ways.

I posted this on the other thread and want to move it over here-
I think my apology got lost in the mix somehow- but maybe I suffer form infreq poster syndrome- ie people just talk pver you unless they recognise your name....
it's very true and yet another reason why I'm off- i also have wasted far too much time here of late and my kids' noses need wip[ing [snot]

Hi, I am just re-registering for this then am off again.

I was about to levae MN for good a few weeks ago- mainly due to the baby p stuff and then finally due to the thread that dismaued me beyond belief...
there was a mnetter asking for advice on how to help her daughter at 16yrs old- after thaving given her up for adoption, the daughter was struggling with all sorts of sad stuff and her adopted parents seemd to have let her down.
The first few posts were (astonishingly)- well, you should have thought about that before you gave her up- and there were ther posts suggesting that the Op was responsible for her daughter's problems.
I decided to go at that point, it was very very sad as I am around alot- even though i don't post much.
I felt that for me, I just needed to get on with more stuff in my life and not to get bogged down with such horrible stuff.

Then I received an invite to moldies- so I went and had a look and stayed around on there.
I'm not a contraversial person and just pootled around on there too.

I continued to post in both places but not prolifically-

and then I made a new Year's resolution to stop MN and Moldies comletely on Jan 1st- I need my life back.

So I've actually de-registered from both sites in the last few days.

I hadn't given it all so much thought to be honest- I've got lots of other stuff going on in my life just now (as ever)

But now i've seen all the upset I do want to apologise to the people that are hurt- and controlfreaky- I do want to apologise to you personally- you have bene lovely to me in the past and I hvae geat respect for you. notanotter too, I know i have disagreed with yur DH quite alot- but it has been fun to talk to you too smile

Anyway, I'm off to get the last lot of Xmas presents now- and to deal with two crazy kids.
I shan't be back- MN is over for me now with that crassness. I knwo there's some fabness still, but I don't want to get involved in all the other stuff- and you have to read threads to realise you want to hide them...

MN has bene fab for me and i have met lovely people on and off line because of it.

I'm leaving moldies too- and also am sad- there are some lovely people there too- again people who took care of me when I really needed it, so I'm not going to slag anyone off either.

All the best to you guys on MN, thanks for the laughs and the help when i needed it...

Ooops. I will miss you on here/there. You are a truly lovely, funny, kind lady.

Although if you are still meeting up with Marsy, hopefully we will meet up again in the near future?

(and double dammit - I wanted to ask you a question about broken cats tails! )

i Remember that thread oops, and was of much the same opinion as you.

very nice of you to apologise, it takes courage i think.
i appreciate it anyway.

merry xmas

Thanks Flight, I daren't click on your link though until I have wrapped up a few more presents!

oops, I saw your original post. I agree/empathise with much of what you say.

Good luck and all the best (although I'd rather you stay)

yes, vvvq- i shan't deregister from friends- that's bonkers.
I jsut don't want to be on either place any more.
MN was a lifesaver and now it has becaome a train crash for me-- and i am sick of myself rubber niecking the crap tbh.

And lovely as people are here and there, i'm just not in the mood to be part of a forum.
I need to move my life along and i feel that posting here or there is jsut taking up time that I should be spending working on my life somewhat.

Anyway- ask away about cat's tails
are they broken cats, or broken tails?

OK, Just for the record, i posted on one of the other threads as 'HippoCriticGal'. I did not namechange for the purpose of that thread; i changed a couple of weeks ago but have had various names since i joined in 2003. But i am not an 'oldie' - perhaps deemed as 'under-ripe' or just plain boring to have been invited to moldies.

I do abhor the suggestion that posters may be expected to 'earn' their invite in some way or to 'give loads of themselves'. Weeeell, i, for one, am not prepared to pimp myself to gain a spurrious right of passage into a breakaway site. i change my name more often than most because i know others who post here and would like to remain as anonymous as poss.

i alluded to the points Kerrymum made on the other thread and i am sorry that people who have been heavily supported by mn posters have decided that they dont need some of us anymore. i know that hasnt been said explicitly, but thats what it feels like.

i dont know if resolve is realistic, but maybe we will all get to the point wgere we can understand, though not necessarily agree opposing viewpoints about this. it seems that some posters are going through a grieving period about this and are understandably very emotionally raw. i think posters are correctly have a 'space' to post their opinions about his, so they can get it out of their system and hopefully move on.

btw; its crapola for any posters to minimise the hurt others are feeling.

the thing i'm sorry about is that you've come to feel that way, oops.

but i understand.

people thought i was away from here but really i wasn't online at all.

just had a lot on IRL.

same will happen again in the new year - got some stuff to sort out and three little kids, and even in the next couple of weeks because i've finally convinced a pal who left a bad relationship down south and is now in a women's refuge to come up here to spend Xmas and New Year's with us, although she's a net junkie, too, and bringing her laptop .

but i wish you well in everything.

you'll be missed.

lol - broken tails.

kitten - about 4-5 months old. appears to have a broken tail although dont know how. is limp-ish from about a 3rd of the way away from the base. Doestn seem to hurt the kitten but kitten has been subdued. dh had a feel and said he felt some movement/grinding (hes a veteran of many broekn bones).

is it worth taking to the vet (owner of cat is reluctant due to cost - they hnave just lost their job) - they wont b able to do antyhing will they?

i am hoping to shut up the computer today and nto come back- but if anyone sees controlfreaky then please let her know that I have apologised to her too...
and there's a whole bunch of people with asd type/sensitive kids that have been lovely- coppertop and everyone.
and Imaginary friend- hope your dd's school and reading are ok

VVVQV - they may amputate the tail, depending on the break.

"
i alluded to the points Kerrymum made on the other thread and i am sorry that people who have been heavily supported by mn posters have decided that they dont need some of us anymore. i know that hasnt been said explicitly, but thats what it feels like."

i'm sorr ybut i object to that under any circusmtances. i dont see why any poster who has been supposted here should feel beholden to them on that basis. if i offer suport or advice or whatever, i dont expect someone to be forever gateful. in fact if they becme srong enough to move on and not need suport any more then i thin k 'fantastic - job done'.

i don't get that 'point' because of some of us never left MN.

but, if they movement in tail is lost - does it have to b apmuteated?

Won't be able to do much- can't splint a tail as it will be too heavy.

I suppose the problem is pain control at this stage. pain relief is hard in cats anyway as they are particularly sensitive to non-steroidals... so don't medicate at home..
Can't believe I'm saying ot again- i've said it loads on here over the years- NO PARACETAMOL for cats.. and no aspirin etc.

If kitten is peeing and pooing ok then I wouldn't worry too much.
But if there is any probs there then best to gett seen soon as poss.
If the tail is very damaged then it may not return to fucntion- and will get shut in doors and stuff so may need amputating.

This is assuming it is a break withiut a wound/bite wound
if there is any infection due to bites or broken skin then it will need seeing by a vet as will prob need antibiotics.

Are they on benefits yet?
If local to you then they could try charities- RSPCA not far from you and blue cross in victoria will help if they are on means tested benefits.

and there's no charge- financial or emotional for that advice

VVV, that was not what i said. I said that it FEELS like i have outlived my usefulness in some ways. I strongly object to potentially being part of a process that other posters decide ya or nay to others' inclusion. That same process was NOT in place to determine who helped whom and what support/help was given/accepted.

When I have given money and gifts NOBODY, i suspect, subjected me to such a process to decide whether it would be acceptable or not... or i may be wrong?

hey if you don't understand why some of us feel the way we do despite the many threads an explainations ..you don't understand!

I clearly don't understand how you don't understand.

peeing and pooing fine. no apparent p[ain.
i may help them to get him to a vet.

i dont think i'll ever understand why mners who have been haeavily supported (whomever they meay be) should be called into question at all. everything esle aside. what's teh point in guilttripping poeple over the bad things they've gone through. if your support is conditinoal dont give it. that's just outright nasty and nothing to do with this.

i get why folk are upste, really really do. have apologised too. but if all these upset folk are genuinely upset, sensitvie folk, then surely they'd understnad nad not feel the need to make jibeds at those less fortunate to make a pont about hurt feelings. the issue is over invites/exlcusion/elitism - or so yhouve maintinaed

Can I just ask a question VVV? To be nosey?

The selection process - are names suggested and then voted on? Do the people in question know/agree to the process? I mean, is it like putting yourself up for a club? Or is the decision to invite or not made before the person is aware IYSWIM.

Apologies if this is a re-hash. I was away over the weekend when the self-destruct button was pushed...

VV, i dont understand what you ae trying to say.

You are sorry if people are upset - but continue to be part of the thing that upsets them

i dont understand the next part

for the tenth time have not read thread
i have been pondering
i have come to conclusion that if i did not disagree with quite a few of the people i expected to find on moldies so much, then i might have been more tempted to join
so am chagrinned to admit i think i did the right thing by accident
i can see if i thought all my mates were on there that i might have accepted invite

anyway i am just sorry now to see friends who were on there and are distressed by aggro and hurt this has caused
it still makes me angry that all this came about
but i feel lots of people who were / are on there are kind of - what do you call it - when people get injured by their own bombs?

my posts have not called anyone into question. for me the main issue is about the selective nature of the process. why would you suggest that my response implies that any support given may have been conditional. i did what i did, freely, openly and honestky. the same cannot be said of moldies.

i can accept that the fallout of moldies was clear unforseen and the hurt unintentional, but it still hurts - a lot of people and to minimise people's feelings, frankly rubs salt into the wound.

tfm - i hpe you dont mind but i dont really want to go over it again. if you do a searh oon invites imsure you'll find. and, tbh, im aboiut to log off as typing is gettng worse so need to rest up

F&Z i think the technical term is "shit it"