More help needed for radio interview ....what are your thoughts on God Parents and Christenings?

[Rachel (mumsnet)]

Tomorrow morning Carrie will be doing an interview for BBC Southern Counties Radio and we need your views.

The basic area are:
Are christenings still really popular - even though church going in general is in decline?
Who do people choose as godparents - friends/ relatives?
How seriously do people take the job of godparent? Is it still seen as an honour?
Do many people regret who they choose as a godparent? (Ie. They choose a good friend but 5 years down the line they never see them.) etc etc

Thanks so much for any opinions/thoughts or anecdotes in advance.

I go to church most Sundays and I really like to see the families from round about coming in to have their children 'done'. Who cares if they come every week after or not, usually they'll be back for weddings and funerals and often for Christmas and Easter or maybe for the children to go to Sunday school. I think the doors of the parish church should be open - who are we to judge people or decide what road their lives will take.

Our dd was christened in the Church of Scotland. No godparents.

We had dd christened when she was 2 months old. Dh and his family are catholic, he does have some beliefs whereas I don't believe at all.

We went to see the local preist when I was still PG and was at the time going to marry us and we told him we wanted our unborn child christened. I was completly honest and told him that I was a non-believer but that dh and I agreed that if dd was baptised she would have the option of going to church etc when she is older.

We had to attend 3 or 4 classes about baptism on sundays after mass which weren't full on like I expected them to be just about parenting really. I actually quite enjoyed them!

We picked my BIL and his fiance to be godparents as we were quite close and thought he would be a good role model for dd. I am an only child so I didn't have anyone on my side of the family to pick.

7 months after the christening BIL and his fiance split up, he got together with someone else and his ex (dd godmother) we rarely see and TBH she has always said she never really wants her own kids and didn't particularly bother with dd. I wish I could have BIL's new lady as dd's godmother cos she's fab and she loves dd to bits and we've only known her 8 months!

I think it's quite a "normal" thing to have your child christened and I'm glad we did it. Even though I don't believe if dd asked me, I would take her to church and if she believes thats fine.

I'm going to put my rant about DS1's godfather here anyway.

This chap, Ian, had been a really really close friend of ours, which was why we asked him to be DS1's godfather. However, after we'd had DS1, I think that Ian and his partner found coming to stay with us a bit dull as obviously we couldn't go out as much etc etc and so they started going to visit DH's brother and his girlfriend instead - and they got very very pissed off with us when we expressed how we felt about that.

DH has done his best to build bridges with them, but it has become clear that Ian just doesn't really give a stuff about DS1. They did come and visit a couple of years ago, but didn't bring anything at all for DS1, although it had just been his birthday. They haven't sent him a Christmas present for years. Ian did very grudgingly come with us on a day out to the Museum in Docklands before Christmas, but I was saddened when DS1 (who isn't the most communicative of children) said to him really sweetly "Would you like to come to our house one day?" and Ian just fobbed him off.

I would love to be somebody's godmother. Feel very angry that we've been let down so badly

I'm a godmother to my best friend's daughter. Which is very odd considereing I'm a complete non-believer. She knew this but a Christening was the done thing for her, as was getting married in church. She doesn't go but is pretty traditional. I do feel as though I am expected to get bigger presents though. But prob would anyway since she's the daughter of closest friend. It's all daft because I wouldn't be the guardian for the child if anything happened. In fact, she picked a different friend for her 2nd daughter so makes a mockery of that in that kids wouldn't be split up would they? Don't mean my friend is making a mockery, just the "system" does. My brother picked godparents who then promptly buggered off to Australia.

Both of mine have been christened - was very important for us, as we are a Christian family. We both work in the church also, and have seen a lot of christenings where the family are not necessarily regular church goers, but want a welcoming ceremony, and see the christening as that.

We chose godparents as people who were good friends of ours, would be good role models for the children, and who would take a real interest in them, helping in the role of parenting. I think it is quite important (for us) that they are Christians, although one of ds' godparents by her own admission goes at Christmas and Easter - that's fine.

I still see it as something to be taken seriously - a way of extending your family - by inviting someone to be a godparent you are inviting them to be a part of your family.

I have no regrets about any of the godparents we chose - they are all very different, but enrich our childrens' lives in unique ways.

We wanted to celebrate our children's arrival in the world but didn't want to have them christened as we are non-believers. We had Naming Ceremonies which were conducted by the Registrar in a local authorised venue (same as for weddings). They were lovely and we chose 'Supporting Adults' who are friends and had to promise to help us raise the children if we asked for help, be there for the children in times of need, to encourage them, etc. The friends are pleased to be their 'Godparents' (it's easier to refer to them as that) and I think have a special relationship with 'their' child (time will tell!). We have known the friends for between 15 and 25 years so I'm fairly sure of our relationships, though some we see more of than others.

I am a godparent to two of DH's neices (one Catholic, one C of E). DH is godfather to one of them too (C of E). When we were asked we explained that we didn't believe but hoped that we were 'good' people and that we would keep an eye out for the girls and the parents were fine with that. We have talked vaguely about leaving them money in our wills but that might be difficult as the one who we both 'have' is a twin so it might be a little unfair. I hope we do have a relationship with them at some point (distance at the moment means we seem 2 or 3 times a year) but I do think about them. Neither sets of parents are churchgoers BTW so I don't feel we are slacking in our religious duty.

Just read through the thread, and wanted to add that I don't think it matters about making promises on behalf of the child - you're not anyway, you're promising that you will bring them up in a particular way. Confirmation is the time that the child 'chooses' to confirm the baptismal promises by making their own promises. So the child isn't being forced into a religion when they can't decide (other than being brought up in that way, which they would be anyway!)

Message withdrawn

Yeah, just tell 'em they'll burn in hell if they don't do as you say, that'll teach 'em. Ha ha ha

? Not sure if you're agreeing or not cod!

By 'they would be brought up in that religion anyway' I'm only referring to Christian families, because even if you didn't have them baptised you would presumably take them to church!

I feel it was very important to have my ds baptised I am a catholic and have taken ds too church since he was born. We chose my sister and fiancé to be ds's godparents, as I did worry that we may loose touch with friends ect. My sister was very honoured to be ds's godparent as i am to be my nieces
Ds was baptised on his own which was lovely saying that e went to a friends christening yesterday and it was chaos. Vicar thought she was christening two little boys, called the first one up and 2 women came forward with there babies of same name. Then another appeared with her son? Was very confusing they all had at least 6 godparents each. I think that's to many IMHO.

Re the 'Don't get me started on parents who go to church to get their child into primary school' comment.

I would have thought that as Cristains you would be delighted that non-believers would attend church for any reason. I thought that Christianity activly seeks to convert people.

And while we are on the subject I would have thought that you should be delighted that the child of non-believres got into a church school. That way the child can be brought to the understanding of God and be saved? Or do you think that a church school is simply a 'perk' of being a believer? I would have thought that the christian church would activly promote to non belivers, 'Suffer Little Children ' and all that.

Hi again, for all you Southern Counties radio listeners, Carrie will be on air any time now, on frequencies:

Surrey / NE Hants 104.6 fm
East Sussex 104.5fm
Brighton 95.3fm
West Sussex 104.8fm

Thanks again for all your imput....and if anyone has a maxi cosi cabrio......