I really really wish the whole ongoing argument about whether there should be an "Onlies" topic or not would just stop.
THere are lots of niche subjects on the board, no-one seems to knock the chickens and forces and lone parents and gay parents etc. But for some reason there was a lot of dissent about the only child list when we first asked for it ... this in turn fostered resentment, defensiveness and counter argument.
The onlies posters tried to make it more positive, more challenging comments ensued, followed by more retaliation, taken outside of the topic list. Now we're at the point where many of the "onlies" people feel rather picked on and this is proving the point in our minds that we need to stick together in the face of criticisms of our lonely children, pfb children etc etc - which I think is NOT where most of the 2+ children are coming from, but is being taken as such.
Would be really lovely if everyone stopped picking at everyone else over this, and we called a truce. People who have a useful point of view regardless of the number of their children could offer advice to those wondering how best to manage their smaller families, no-one is saying the topic has to actively exclude those with more than one child - but we really don't need criticisms or sniping of the fact that we have only children, or have our own particular concerns about having only children.
In case anyone is wondering, I have one child who is likely to be an only because I was widowed whilst I was pregnant. Meeting other people online who can offer advice about how best to answer insensitive RL questions from strangers about "when are you having another one" etc (to give only one example) is helpful, supportive and reassuring in the extreme. As someone who always thought they would have two children, who came from a 2-child family and viewed only children families with suspicion, getting a positive view and some support is fantastic. And having that support in one easy to find place rather than in the parenting section, where active conversations may get nudged down the list very quickly, is also very helpful.
If you bothered to read all of this then hopefully you will be bothered enough to put this very odd divide to one side now, let the onlies topic alone and equally for the onlies posters to call a halt to defensive counter-arguments and pre-emptive posting trying to state our "case" outside of the topic. Thank you.