Can we have a Wanker's Corner?

[onebatmother]

Hello.

It's been noted in the past that there are some pretentious wankers amongst us who like to discuss some general subjects (eg.Porn, Religion) in a fairly, erm.. academic manner, and that this sometimes seems to intimidate and/or infuriate other posters.

There doesn't seem to be an easy solution to this problem: there's no doubt that people really do feel intimidated and that it might prevent them from posting on a subject that concerns them. It also must feel hijack-y at times.

At the same time, it's hard for the Wanker's to be told that they mustn't post anything that might intimidate.

Would it be possible to have a special place, with very hard chairs to keep us awake, that we may call our own?

Oooooh that kind of wanker. I need to get to grips with the nuances of language......
So, NOT a sordid budoir, then, but an adult naughty step. Could have a sordid undertone, though.....

No! not a naughty step by any means! It would be a place for all those with wankerish tendencies to relax and be themselves, without fear of mockery...

Rather like those private rooms above ladies' dress shops in provincial towns, where closeted middle-aged TVs can drink tea, wearing mother-of-the-bride outfits, in a 'relaxed and supportive atmosphere.'

italics definitely belong in wankers' corner hab
I don't know why, but they just do

A cacophany of wank?

Or a cacophany of whinging, wailing and wanking.

Oh, then I may as well just move in. I can never post without them.

Or perhaps something a little more Anglo Saxon and punchy

The wank tank?

I thought of Wanker's Corner this morning, when there was someone talking about the possible need for more sperm donation facilities. What's that but a demand for Wankers' Corners? I thought onebat had been petitioning the govt.

I switched it on in mid-discussion, and there was some very weird talk about 'the horizontal transfer of sperm'.

threadworm I laughed at the exact same thing!!! I thought it sounded beautifully ambivalent and no one even snorted.

a plangency of wank echoed across the midnight wilderness of mn

uqd's eyelids fluttered..

next line please

gosh you lot talk fast you must all be touch typists

Or how about Wankfest - just for the festival season?

Stuffit - Wankers are very good with their hands.

I think Wank Tank is good. Or perhaps as one word. 'A new policy document issued by the Mumsnet Wanktank advises...'

i thought you might all be frightfully well read secretaries

What's wrong with a Think Wank???

Threadie - I suspect MNHQ will drop HQ and adopt WT immediately.

We could recruit policywonk to make a slight namechange and head up the Wanktank.

lol! I do love WankTank.

yes where is policywonk?

He felt, blindly, for his spectacles, and found them perched atop the foot-high tower of signed Richard Dawkins books which teetered beside the bed - the bed which he himself had carved from the vast oak which he had felled last year in the Loire, during that fateful 'Find your inner woodsman' retreat.

His ears strained to catch the tone of the wank's plangency. Was it a solitary wank, nobly alone in a universe uninhabited by God, resolutely clinging to itself only for the profoundest satisfaction?

Or did it crave the mutuality of an Imagined Other upon whose face to erupt with joyful affirmation?

LOLOL!

He shivered involuntarily, as he imagined just what short work Mrs UQD would make of "mutuality".

She would snort out her eerily-accurate impression of Kristeva's laugh - an imitation which had made her a legend in the halls and seminar-rooms of Birkbeck - and demand to know what, precisely, he saw of mutuality in jizzing on the Other's face, Imaginary or no?

His own joyful affirmation wilted, quite suddenly.

"That's another vast oak felled, then," he sighed.

snooort! It's Carry On Wanking, isn't it?

God, what a horrible thread. It's like being locked in a room with a bunch of precocious fourteen year olds in unusual hats and self-conscious clothing.

You want your own topic so you can be clever without making other people feel intimidated?

[shakes head]

Perhaps the Gifted and Talented section would serve?