MN continues to allow ageist threads

[ThisTicklishFatball]

Hi all,
I’ve noticed threads that lean into ageist assumptions, and I wanted to gently challenge that. Ageism – like any form of prejudice – can creep in subtly, often wrapped in jokes or stereotypes. But it’s worth pausing to ask: would we say the same things about someone based on race, gender, or disability?
Here are a few points I hope you’ll consider:
1. Ageing is universal – and inevitable.
None of us are getting younger. When we mock, belittle, or stereotype older people, we’re essentially insulting our future selves. That’s not empowerment – it’s short-sighted.
2. Older women are still women – and still part of this community.
Mumsnet prides itself on being a space for open discussion across generations. Many of us are parenting teens or adult children, navigating menopause, or caring for ageing parents. Dismissing older posters or voices undermines the richness of this community.
3. Ageism hurts everyone – including younger people.
When we devalue older people, we reinforce narrow ideas about worth being tied to youth. That puts unfair pressure on younger women, too – to look a certain way, achieve everything fast, and fear growing older instead of embracing it.
4. Life experience matters.
There's a reason we say “wisdom comes with age.” Older posters often have a broader perspective, having lived through different political, cultural, and economic changes. Their input isn’t outdated – it’s informed.
5. Many older people are still working, caring, learning, and growing.
The stereotype of older women being out of touch or irrelevant is lazy and false. Many are raising grandchildren, running businesses, getting degrees, and yes – posting on Mumsnet.
6. We can challenge ageism and still joke, disagree, and debate.
This isn't about tone-policing or silencing. It’s just a reminder that we all benefit from a bit of thoughtfulness before posting. Criticism is fine – but let's make sure it's aimed at ideas, not age groups.
In short: ageism shouldn't have a place on Mumsnet. We shouldn't tolerate racism, sexism or ableism here – let’s give ageism the same zero tolerance.
Thanks for reading if you got this far – I really do believe this space can be better when everyone feels welcome, regardless of their age.

Well said OP.

Very well said

I’m less sure. I think people have something specific in mind when they post and it’s better to explore it than shut them down. When someone is stressed about older people being insensitive to the needs of their younger relatives, it’s not a blanket condemnation of all old people, but a specific condemnation of insensitive older people. If you are older and hugely empathic and considerate, then she isn’t talking about you!

But I may be thinking about different examples from you!

Young women should read Hags!

Do you report such posts when you see them, @ThisTicklishFatball?

But the age of the person isn’t relevant is it? It’s the behaviour of the specific person that matters but by calling out the age of the person you IMPLY that the behaviour is particularly common in older people

if you just talked about the behaviour without pointing out the age of the person there wouldn’t be an issue

Do you not think older people are more prone to lose their sense of perspective? Both DM anmd MiL are inclined to comment on how busy they are, and need our help, when we are doing all the things they do plus work full time. It seems a common occurrence as people age.

What’s wrong with ages and stages?

Idk, I can probably think of as many examples of younger people who haven’t gained much perspective yet.

Is this you trying to give an example of an ageist post?

@ThisTicklishFatball I agree. There's a lot of anti semitic stuff as well and it's allowed to stand. A case of selective protected characteristics.

There’s a lot of “gen z are work shy, unresilient shirkers”

And I’m not gen z

I’ve been pretty disappointed by a quite few moderating decisions by MNHQ recently, and not only about ageism. But the ageist stuff is definitely awful.

There’s a lot of crazy MiL-based hairy-hander activity on the boards too, which doesn’t help.

Very well said. The ageism on Style and Beauty is shocking.

I was thinking back to if I was a nasty ageist twat when I was a slim young thing and realised that sadly and horribly I probably was - it does need calling out though and I draw attention to it a lot on S&B.

Are there threads that you’re referring to specifically?
Have you reported and they haven’t been taken down?

Totally agree. The elderly are often treated as another species (and one not kindly looked upon either), treated and spoken to and about with disrespect and condescension.

Although I’m broadly in favour of assisted dying, the general and growing negative attitude towards the elderly that I’m seen is actually making me change my mind. I think there will be coercion or people feeling that they are a burden (or simply having no-one to care for them).

It’s terribly sad.

I see a lot of it also against the younger generation and against people who have children in their 20s or younger Classism is also horrendous.

Yes, I think that just generally many people seem pitted against each other at the moment and it seems to be getting worse.

The cost of living crisis is exacerbating it all because when people are struggling they notice inequality and inequity more - then start looking for someone to blame.

I would rather posters challenged statements they don't like then expect MNHQ to moderate for ageism. MNHQ regulates too much already imho.

Leaving some types of statements allows debate & discussion which can be good thing.

I can't see agism as same as the other prejudices OP listed, for many reasons. It's also not the same type of 'protected' characteristic in law as the others.

... speaking as a white-haired person

Women on MN seem to think having a baby in your mid 20s is a teen pregnancy when, biologically, it’s more normal to have your children in your 20s than your 40s.

I agree. How many times on MN do we see old stereotypes? Too often. Apparently, according to a few people on here, most of us are racist and have too much money.

Hello @ThisTicklishFatball. Thanks for your thoughtful post. We agree that ageism, like any form of stereotyping, can easily sneak into many conversations here, on other sites and in real life. We always feel that Mumsnet works best when everyone feels able to join in, whatever their age. We’re also a site that hosts a wide range of views, including ones that won’t always land well (and on many occasions it's down to clumsy phrasing rather than outright malice). We don’t remove posts just because they touch on generational differences or strike a nerve to this end. Our approach is to look at context and we step in when posts clearly cross a line, but otherwise, we think the best response is often to challenge what you disagree with, as you’ve done well here.

As always - please report anything you feel crosses the line.

I usually report ageist stuff when I see it. It’s rarely taken down. Mumsnet is full of it.