An Idea- LGBT Mumsnetters Board

[gayhistorynerd]

I was thinking just before that a board I'd really appreciate on this site would be an LGBT Mumsnetters board; not dissimilar to some of the other "demographic" boards such as the Neurodivergent Mumsnetters board, the Muslim Mumsnetters board, or the Black Mumsnetters board. Currently it seems like most LGBT topics have to be channeled into either LGBT Children or LGBT Parents, and while I imagine many of the LGBT users here are parents it seems that people only use that board to discuss parenting, meaning there's nowhere currently for general LGBT discussion. Much like with the other demographic boards, I find when these subjects come up in Chat that it often devolves into debates the OP clearly hadn't been looking for- so I was wondering if it would be worthwhile to have a similarly-aimed board that stays off of the Active Threads page?

No worries if not, of course! I'm mostly just floating the idea to see if this is something which is being considered, has previously been considered, or even just if it's something other users would appreciate.

Personally I think the children and parents boards should be merged, but I also think the LGB should have a separate board to the T as they are totally different. It would be similar to having the Black and South Asian boards as one big board which would be ridiculous as they have different needs and different perspectives.

Edit - can't spell 🙄

I also think the LBG should have a separate board to the T as they are totally different. It would be similar to having the Black and South Asian boards as one big board which would be ridiculous as they have different needs and different perspectives.

This. I think a lot of the lesbians on MN currently mainly post on the feminism boards & wouldn’t choose to join in an LGBT one.

I agree with this too. I'll never know why the T was shoved in with the sexual orientation category.

Agree re the T. It has nothing to do with sexuality/sexual orientation so shouldn’t be linked to LGB.

LGB only board would be great. Seldom are LGB allowed a space of their own, just to advocate for their sexual orientation without other 'identities' hitching themselves on unasked.

The only thing to be aware of, speaking from experience on the MNers without children board, is that there is no such thing as an exclusive ‘space of their own’ for any group on Mumsnet. Although I do agree it’s a lovely idea.

I suspect that a lot of the posters who don't want a T in their board also wouldn't want the B in there, given how just about every thread about bisexuality on Mumsnet ends up.

B is a sexual orientation so it should be with the L and G rather than the T which is nothing to do with orientation and never has been.

No idea about the second part of your post as I've never read a thread about B, odd posts for sure but they slotted in perfectly fine within the thread(s). What's the problem with B?

Personally I'd be happy with an LGBT board, as that's the most representative of the community as I have seen it and it's the most recognisable acronym, but it'd ultimately be up to Mumsnet to decide what worked for them if they like the idea. I do think transgender users could make good use of a separate board, as the advice and experience can be so different. At the same time, I've always known the community as a hodge-podge mix of LGB and gender diverse people, many of whom are fit into both categories, and I'd be hesitant to stoke further division. Maybe an "LGBT Sexuality" and "LGBT Gender" board would be a good way to separate the two main themes?

(Let's just say I'm glad it wouldn't be my job to make that choice, as useful as I think an LGBT board would be 😂)

Being LGB is about which sex you’re attracted to while being T is about prioritising gender over sex, which then leads to males identifying as lesbians & lesbians who don’t want to date them being accused of transphobia by the likes of Stonewall…

I think I’d quietly hide any new LGBT boards, it would be simpler.

I’d really love to see an LGBTQ board. The community has always been a mix of sexualities and gender identities, and having a dedicated space would be so valuable for support and connection.

I get why some might suggest splitting it into separate boards, but that could end up feeling a bit divisive. So many people fit into both, and the conversations naturally overlap. A single board would reflect the reality of our community—diverse, and all the better for it.

There’s such a need for a welcoming, visible space where people who identify as LGBTQ+ people can come together.

But I don’t “identify” as lesbian, I am a lesbian. And I don’t have a gender identity, I am a woman.

Perhaps an LGB board and a Gender Identity Issues board? (Although personally I don’t feel I need either).

When people talk about overlaps & fitting into both categories - how do you mean? For instance a male with a feminine or NB gender identity, who’s attracted to women, might identify as a lesbian, but would actually be a straight or possibly bi male.

@EmpressaurusKitty Gender and sexuality don’t always fit into neat boxes, and identity is deeply personal. Some people’s experiences don’t align with traditional labels, and they use terms that feel most authentic to them.

For example, a non-binary or trans person might identify with "lesbian" based on their lived experience rather than a strict definition of biological sex. It’s less about technical categorisation and more about how people understand and relate to their own identity.

I get why some might suggest splitting it into separate boards, but that could end up feeling a bit divisive. So many people fit into both

Then surely they could post on both boards? The freedom is there if there are both.

Yeah but his pomo addled crap where nothing is real and everyone can just claim to be whatever the feel, with no basis in reality whatsoever is really divisive and offensive to many. Its basically appropriating other people's reality.

Its not okay to appropriate other people's race, or to appropriate disability if you are not disabled, so why is it ok to appropriate other people's sex or sexuality?

Thanks for your suggestion, OP. We will give it some thought and keep reading here for others' opinions.

For example, a non-binary or trans person might identify with "lesbian" based on their lived experience rather than a strict definition of biological sex. It’s less about technical categorisation and more about how people understand and relate to their own identity.

You see, I really disagree with this. My sexuality isn’t an identity. It’s a biological fact. I am a woman who would only enjoy sex if it was with another woman.

I am happy for a man to express his feminine side and/or identify as trans. But if he only enjoys sex with women he’s heterosexual. He can’t identity his way in to lesbian spaces.

For example, a non-binary or trans person might identify with "lesbian" based on their lived experience rather than a strict definition of biological sex. It’s less about technical categorisation and more about how people understand and relate to their own identity.

And this is exactly why I think I’d just hide the board.

Oh good grief.

With regards to topics relating to parenting children, it's really important that boards for LGB and gender questioning children are separate because the needs and safeguarding risks for LGB and gender questioning children are different.

This would also be in line with recommendations in KCSIE legislation, which separates needs of LGB children from needs of gender questioning children, and provides different recommendations for each group.

I agree a unified board would be beneficial, when space for trans people are separated out they become dead space or very small or inactive which defeats the purpose of the search for community.

Surely it’s not up to lesbians to ‘bulk out’ a forum so it is more appetising to people who identify as transgender?

I just signed up to mumnet as an expectant trans parent feeling isolated, desperately seeking clues to how to find parenting community. This place does not feel like the way, as i expected. The very lonely search continues...

It’s the ‘women as service humans’ concept. With the only acceptable women being those who believe in gender over sex.