Thread removal

[CurlewKate]

Have the criteria for getting your thread removed changed? It seems strange that someone who is not identifiable, but who is obviously careering towards a cliff edge can get their thread removed because they don't want to hear sensible advice.....

Hi OP

We try not to delete threads as standard and will more than likely try to push back on deletions. However, we're not in the business of making anyone's life harder than it needs to be. If someone is upset and very concerned, we will always try and help - and sometimes that means deleting a thread.

@LilyMumsnet So if someone doesn't like the answers they're getting they just need to say they're upset and bam thread deleted?

Hi @Whinge

We would avoid deleting threads because an OP didn't like answers. Do bear in mind that we have discussions with users (away from the boards), and these are often more detailed - we'll then make a call with the extra information we have. As we said, we don't want to make anyone's life more difficult than it needs to be.

We would avoid deleting threads because an OP didn't like answers.

It honestly really does not look like this of late.

It's been getting a bit silly for the last year or so, but the last few months have been ridiculous.

Especially when that person's anonymous and there's no identifying information.

I'm all for not making anyone's life unnecessarily difficult, but it smacks of pandering to hissy fits.

People sometimes create a thread in haste, or word it badly, or regret posting at all.

i think everyone should have the right to have their thread pulled, because they've changed their mind. Any ethical forum would do that and not allow the OP to be mauled and tortured or made to feel small or uncomfortable. The savage way people post on here at times and continue to round on an OP long after their point has been made, means they absolutely need protection.

why shouldn't they request to have their thread deleted, for whatever reason they have and have their request unconditionally granted.

I'm all for not making anyone's life unnecessarily difficult, but it smacks of pandering to hissy fits.

So where an OP is judged by the majority to be in the wrong, you want the OP to continue to be shamed and told they're wrong dozens of times and to have to abandon their own thread because they feel ashamed/embarrassed/got at/humiliated and suffer the fact that thread will stay open, so it potentially comes up in "Threads You Might Like" so that future posters read it, reactivate it, add their tuppence worth?

id say that was absolutely making someone's life difficult and very cruel.

Well another thread has been deleted this morning ‘ to allow the poster to sort this out off the boards’ . Which basically means she didn’t like the answers she was being given , makes you wonder if it’s worth posting anymore .

A lot of social media sites allow people to delete their posts / comments / threads by themselves. Seems odd to insist that MN, which is unusual in not allowing this and only recently introducing limited post editing, have some crazily high bar.

I would think that closing the thread to new replies would be better.

@CelestialNexus putting it in stark terms, it's like leaving someone in the stocks in the town square, with their face covered in squashed tomatoes.

Agreed, future posters won't be able to add their tuppence with, but they will be able to read the OP getting a mauling.

the fact they've requested to have their thread taken down means it's for a good reason, it's causing them stress or embarrassment or both. That's justification enough.

Otherwise it's a bit Jeremy Kyle, imo. People like to have a good nosey, it's a spectator sport round here.

If you've ever done something that in hindsight you think, "Damn, I shouldn't have done that, I wish I'd never started", that's probably what's happened. I know I have!

on MN it's so easy to start threads and then regret you'd ever spoken. People don't always know what they're letting themselves in for. This is one situation where it's good to be kind.

My thread has been taken down and I've no idea why? Other people have discussed what I asked and I had no replies from what I could see.
No one from mn has had a discussion with me away from the boards. I feel absolutely dreadful about it and will think twice before starting a thread again

I once posted about how my parents weren’t bothered about their grandchildren and didn’t seem to want to see them / help me in any way. I was torn to shreds that I shouldn’t expect help from anyone etc and they are my kids. What I didn’t realise and people commenting was I was in a very deep postpartum depression and crying out for help. I wasn’t allowed to take the post down and honestly it made my depression so much worse. Being told I am ungrateful and shouldn’t expect my parents to help in any way shape or form. I fully support people needing to delete a thread if it’s affecting their mental health. There is alot more to anyone’s story than a short paragraph on the bloody internet.

I think that Mumsnet are right to delete threads where they are causing upset to the OP. Even if the OP appears to be very much in the wrong no one deserves a public lynching for the sake of some bored Mumsnetters entertainment.

It's not the Jeremy Kyle show.

If people don't won't to risk wasting there time giving advice then don't post on Mumsnet.

It help if some posters weren't so nasty and unkind with their posts but I don't think that will ever change.

I'm glad Mumsnet is moderated. If anything I wish there were more monitoring of threads

So sorry about this, @socks1107 - we've taken a look and can see that your thread had been automatically hidden because it contained a term that has been used in many spam threads recently.

We've reinstated your thread by now so you should be able to post on it again. So sorry for any upset this caused.