Threads about Neurodivergent SEN kids in schools

[PhantomUnicorn]

I really think it's time MN updated their Talk Guidelines to cover this subject specifically.

I know it goes in cycles, but just lately the Autism/ADHD bashing is getting out of hand, and I'm tired of defending myself and my kids and our disabilities against ignorance.

It's not our children's fault that they're being so seriously let down by the education system, and I'm tired of them and us being treated like we're the problem on this website that is meant to be about support.

As someone with ADHD/Autism, I'm starting to feel I'm being made unwelcome by the constant ableism and prejudice against us. I'm sure I'm not alone in that sentiment.

I absolutely agree @PhantomUnicorn - the ableism on here has been disappointing for a while and is now seemingly completely unmoderated, as illustrated by the threads you mention.

I agree, it's dreadful. I have reported many posts in the past but it's hit and miss as to whether they're deleted.

I know 3 women with autistic children who no longer use mumsnet due to the attitudes toward ND. It no longer feels like a place for support to them.

Yes!

Agree.

i know its been hidden and probably deleted, but last nights thread absolutely took the biscuit imho.

Wihch thread was that?

I didn't see it, probably a good thing by the sound of it. 🤬

I completely agree, OP.

I didn't see thread but sorry you experienced that. A lot of ignorance around. I do report any I see and MN are excellent at taking down.

I do not go on aibu and stick to SN chat, there's a Goose and Carrot thread anyone with SN kids is welcome to join. You can select so aibu doesn't come up or any annoying other sections.

Also agree.

I've been on here for about 15 years, and while there's always been ableist posts (and I remember the "this is my child" campaign as a result of this), it's definitely got worse again recently.

I reported that thread last night, but mumsnet still let it stand for several pages before they finally took it down.

@FrankensteinCastle same.. been here since 2006, and it is getting SO much worse recently, its saddening, it really is.

I honestly feel like some of the panorama stuff around ND diagnosis has made people feel they have cart blanche to be ableist about us.

I am not sure I agree completely. I have kids with asd and yes people can be ignorant and post lots of crap. However as a parent I also feel that some parents of children with SN also immediately shut down or pile on to anyone who dares to offer an opinion or challenge them on anything. Having a child with SN does not mean that you speak for everyone nor does it mean that you can't be wrong or entitled in your attitudes.

Hello @PhantomUnicorn thanks for your comments.

If you are concerned that a post is goady, offensive, disablist, or otherwise breaking our talk guidelines, please report and we will look into it further.

We recognise what you're saying - we think people should be aware of just how difficult it is to get adequate provision and the toll that takes on parents - but shutting down all discussion about SEN kids in schools is unlikely to improve understanding. We try not to be overly prescriptive when it comes to our Talk guidelines - in our experience, it's better to look at each report individually. Our mission is to make parents' lives easier - and we'll remove posts that just don't fit with that aim, including ableism.

We removed the recent thread as we have serious concerns about the OP's motivation for posting - we just don't see much value in threads that are designed purely to cause upset. @Vinvertebrate we don't think it's true to suggest it's unmoderated, but if something isn't reported, we're unlikely to see it among the 30,000 posts per day on the boards - so please do report.

Thanks.

Honestly, my heart sinks when I see yet another thread on the subject.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet my intention isn't to shut down the discussions, or not allow them to happen, but to ask/request something be done along the lines of the 'this is my child' thing, or for that to be pushed/re-iterated for people to understand the level of ableism is unacceptable here.

It is possible to discuss the issues of education system failure, without demonising the disabled children and adults involved.

@PhantomUnicorn we agree it should be possible and from what we see, the majority of MNers would too. Obviously, there will always be posts that cross a line but we think these are in the minority. Unfortunately, it's these posts that people tend to remember as they can be so hurtful. As mentioned above, the best way to set the tone is to report such posts and we will step in if we feel it's necessary. Thanks.

The threads are awkward and uncomfortable I agree but people are expressing their frustration with a system that’s clearly not working well for many.
what’s needed is a better complaints system and prompt resolution from diagnosis to implementation.

Frustrations can be expressed without demonizing disabled children (or calling them ”feral”) though. Posts to the effect of “I don’t want that <adjective> kid in my DC’s class” are rightly deleted until the adjective is “autistic”. Then it’s open season…