MN deleting threads on OPs request

[MiniFig]

Where is the line. The "precious pregnancy" one contained a lot of good advice among some not entirely awful (mostly exasperated eye rolling tbh)

But the OP - who was a) in AIBU and b) asked herself if she was being precious (as in she used the word)

And then got snippy when people didn't agree that she should be bathed in soft fluffy down and treated like a goddess - and MN are OK with that? Really?

Maybe it was getting a bit much and they'd got the message?

yes but it shouldn't just be at the whim of the OP - otherwise we'd be able to delete our own threads. Just because the OP (especially in AIBU) gets a snit because they are having their arse handed to them (and it was robust, not awful) there's no reason to delete a thread that actually had some very useful tips on it.

There was a post on MN that got deleted earlier because the op asked for it to be deleted because she didn't like the responses she received deleted it for her but they seem to pick and choose when they delete threads at the ops request just because they don't like the answers

Might just as well have a ‘Delete’ button so you can diy your own threads 🫤

It's definitely becoming way more common. Everytime a poster on AIBU is told they are in fact BU and they get grumpy you can almost guarantee the thread will be deleted because it's "outing" aka the poster doesn't like being told they are indeed in the wrong and they are doing the internet version of throwing their toys out or taking their ball home.

Not seen the thread you are talking about... but if OP wants the thread deleted that's fair enough. MN posters often repeat the same things multiple times... it's bordering bullying.

Hello @MiniFig,

We delete threads for a variety of reasons. If it was at the OP's request, it's usually that they've written in to us and are worried that the information they provided was too outing or that they have already been outed in real life.

We also often get requests to delete a thread if it's ended up in the tabloids, understandably.

Less frequently, we get people who have just regretted posting for one reason or another and are finding the whole thing incredibly stressful. We do try not to delete entire threads as we know how annoying it is when users have taken time to offer advice and support and then the whole thread just vanishes. Also, where possible, we like threads to stay up so they are there for anyone coming along in the future who might have the same problem and benefit from the advice given. So it is a last resort, but we've no wish to make anyone's life any harder than it already is, so if someone is really distressed we'll do what we can to help. That might be editing a thread or moving it for them or if there's no other solution, we do sometimes delete threads in their entirety.

Hope that gives you a bit more info into it all anyway.

Well what you say, is of course reasonable to an extent.
But the one I'M talking about? meh. She threw her toys out of the pram, and you obliged. And in the meantime some really good comments have gone pouf into the internet equivalent of the ether.

but thanks for replying.

I kind of think what's the point in keeping a pile-on for posterity? They tend to go on for days as so many people who use AIBU seem to lack the discipline not to stick their oar in.

i have long thought, and said, that MN could and should close some threads.

And if posts are bullying etc, then people should report them. But AIBU isn't for the faint-hearted for sure, and maybe there should be a stronger warning?

But i saw people make quite reasonable replies yesterday on a thread and the OP was whining about the venomous attack. So "it's the Internet YMMV applies" apparently

I dont really understand why people post such intimate details on a public website and then freak out that its "outing". Why post it then? I get not wanting it to end up in the daily mail but thats not super common. If you post something on a public website for all to see surely its possible that anyone can see it. Do people not understand this concept? Someone posted recently about writing a book and feeling sad their reviews were poor, loads of people offered massive support, there was not one single negative comment and then it was gone because "outing". Yet this person was PMing people the name of the book etc
I think its really rude to all the people who took time to offer support and encouragement.

I didn't see the thread in question but if OP is pregnant and the thread was distressing her, perhaps its best for both her and her baby's health it was deleted?

Who cares? So many of these threads go in for too long anyway, with pages of people posting the same stuff over and over.

I just accept it now. I post a lot less as it just feels pointless with the amount of deletions these days.

** My experience is very different OP.

Less frequently, we get people who have just regretted posting for one reason or another and are finding the whole thing incredibly stressful.

This happened to me under a previous posting name. I was finding a particular thread I started extremely stressful. No, I didn't like the answers but I can deal with people not agreeing with me. it was more that there were some incredibly cruel and harsh responses. I felt i had to monitor replies and respond. This was happening when we were dealing with terminal illness in the family so the stress was heightened because of this. Even so, MN wouldn't take the thread down for reasons they have described on this thread. That's their policy so fair enough, but it's certainly changed my 'relationship' with MN

Your overly invested if you feel like you've taken your time. The issue is OP probably can cope with a few harsh comments but it's more than that on here you get a great big pile on, people thinking they are clever repeating the same thing. Why do you want to continue a thread like this on? We don't even know if some things are true for a start.

But what I was saying is, posts are deleted that dont even have pile ons. I wouldnt say I'm invested, just kind of- whats even the point of commenting then? Cant be arsed.

I do feel the responses that some people get, although truthful are very harsh. The thread I think you are referring to, a young woman may be pregnant, she did get really uncalled for comments. Yes, some were helpful, but the majority weren’t. I would like to think my replies that I give are helpful and I always read them through before posting and do delete them if I think I’ve said something that may offend. I also agree that people get the posts taken down because they don’t get the answers they want.

Thing is if you're invested on some level you're more likely to treat the OP like a person. I think the frequent deletions just make people more likely to post something short and nasty because why bother to post something thoughtful when odds are it's all going to be deleted.

Perhaps an answer to a pile on-especially if the Op has taken advice, would be to stop any more comments. That was advice is still up, but it stops anyone keeping the argument going.

sigh. And another one. It's boring.
it puts people off giving genuine help in threads because you get a bit invested and the super oversensitive OP gets it pulled.

It will, with the AI posts, be the death of the forum, i fear