MN threads on Facebook

[saraclara]

So you've decided to risk MNers' relationships with their families and friends by promoting the most difficult OPs on Facebook?

Is it not bad enough that the Mail trawls this place for stories?

The very contentious thread about the trip to the in-laws is being promoted by you, and you've made it far more likely that OP will face family oprobrium. Even though she's been relatively reasonable about the situation, 90% of posters have not, and if her in-laws read the thread, they'll be shocked at how venomous it is, and blame her.

I find this really appalling. You're prepared to throw your members under a bus, just for the traffic to your site.

Can we have an explanation for this decision?

Surely by now everyone knows not to post anything online that you would be bothered if it's copied. It's Internet safety 101.

Sorry OP, I have to agree with helpfulperson. I think people can get lulled into a false sense of security and start thinking that MN is a safe little 'bubble' but it really isn't. It's a huge site that's become part of national culture/consciousness, it's trawled by the press as a lazy way of picking up stories, and by anti-women misogynists for Twitter screenshots. Back in the day it used to be said that most forums would have 10 lurkers for every active poster...that's a lot of people reading.

By all means post for help and support but be aware that your post could end up shared anywhere. Change up details, name change regularly, don't post anything you wouldn't be happy to tell your boss or best friend and if in doubt, if having it shared elsewhere could set off a bomb in your life...don't post it.

You're prepared to throw your members under a bus, just for the traffic to your site.

Welcome to the Internet. MN is a business first, regardless of what other impression they're giving out. People should know that by now.

Good point. What's that saying...if you're not paying, you're the product.

(Mind you, that's tough beans on any MN Premium members who are both paying AND the product!)

I think most people understand that the site is public, and threads can be picked up by the press. I think it quite another thing to see MN actively doing it themselves. Had MN not kicked it further into the public arena, the thread may well not have been picked up. So it would be helpful if we knew when MN would consider it not appropriate to do this. I'm assuming domestic abuse, child abuse etc would not be pushed forward in this way. But a site who removes threads that are 'making life harder for the OP' (I'm paraphrasing, but I've seen it done) have now done just that very thing, to increase traffic and advertising revenue.

If you post something on the internet you should be aware anyone can take it and post it anywhere, they don’t need your permission.

You should also be aware you may be outed.

You shouldn't post online anything that is sensitive to you or others. It's online and no longer private.

Presumably it's an algorithm which selects the posts to be displayed based on which ones get most traffic.

Hi OP

Thanks for raising this. The last thing we ever want to do is cause issues for our posters.

We do share popular threads on our Facebook page and have done this for a very long time - we are always mindful of how sensitive a subject is before sharing. We'll discuss this particular case and in the meantime, please do let us know if there's anything else you'd like us to look into.

It was clear which way the wind was blowing when the 'quote' button was hidden but the 'share' button was made really accessible.

Thank you for responding @LilyMumsnet . To my mind it should be very simple to filter threads that you want to share elsewhere. Simply asking yourselves "is exponentially increasing the audience for this thread, going to to make a family being torn apart more likely?"

The answer to the bedrooms at the in-laws thread is surely, yes. The responses are so inflammatory that it would cause a huge fallout in the family, and possibly within the marriage, too.

The answer to the bedrooms at the in-laws thread is surely, yes. The responses are so inflammatory that it would cause a huge fallout in the family, and possibly within the marriage, too.

That is the responsibility of the OP posting, nobody else.

The OP was actually relatively reasonable about the situation. It was those who posted in response who were really vicious about the SIL and the PILs.

As someone else pointed out, mnhq quite often delete threads because they "don't want to make life harder" for the OPs. So their decision to greatly expand the audience for a highly emotional thread is at odds with that.

I found a thread I'd started on the FB page.

It surprised me because I didn't think it was terribly interesting TBH.

I think that if people post on here they should expect or at least be prepared for MN and others to quote their threads elsewhere.

I was surprised that my thread about the Wedding Reception was picked up by The Sun but I suppose it was mildly contentious.

It doesn’t matter if it was the OP or the replies. It’s the OP’s responsibility and when it’s out there that’s it.

And MN should not be deleting threads for any reason. The fact that they do delete threads for “privacy” and other ridiculous reasons is something that needs addressing.

I agree with @saraclara and @SpongeBobJudgeyPants .

There have been some odd decisions on MN in recent times.

@LilyMumsnet, I'd note that there's a tipping point for MNHQ. On one hand, you want to drive people here and drive the audience.

But the problem, on the other hand, is that many posters are driven away from posting because they fear being publicized. It may be irrational--anyone can come here and read what they've posted. Nevertheless, I can say that I for one have stepped away from starting new posts in part because I don't want to end up in a Facebook algorithm.

The irony is that you've built such a strong community, where people feel safe and trusting publishing their troubles and concerns, that it seems a real violation when the curtain is lifted. We know rationally that we're the product. But I'd suggest thoughtfully that you're in real danger of undermining exactly what makes MN attract the kind of honest posts that drive engagement.

Tl;dr: if we're treated as clickbait, we're far less likely to open up here.

For instance, I just went and looked: who in the world decided that it was appropriate to make a Facebook post about a woman terrified about getting a smear test?

"Why do people think Londoners are rude?": go for it.
"I don't understand why Sunak proposed X": fine.
"Parking thread": have at it.
"Bad labour stories": funny.

"I'm really terrified about having a smear test after having a UTI and here's a description of my symptoms and I'm worried about consent issues": WTAF.

"My friend is sort-of cheating and I've lost sympathy: here are some details ": FFS

"I'm worried my family doesn't care about me because I don't have kids": what are you thinking?

These are all real examples from the past few days. That's really, really bad form, @MNHQ.

Completely agree with this.

Yes its a public forum (its not an accident that I have never started a thread about anything personal) but it also claims to be there to help and support parents.

There is a big difference between "someone copied my post onto Twitter" and the owners of the "supportive" site actively publicising threads which cause people difficulties.

Mind you I also think facilitating name changes lulls people into a sense of false security about anonymity and encourages people to post stuff they otherwise wouldn't.

There is a big difference between "someone copied my post onto Twitter" and the owners of the "supportive" site actively publicising threads which cause people difficulties

Exactly that. Some OPs situations are so identifying to other members of their families or friends involved (but who the writer wouldn't expect to be on the forum) that the owners of the site actively publicising it is absolutely reckless.

Your OP is so similar to mine! (Although you worded it better!)

If MN is struggling without clickbait I'd rather pay a couple of pounds per month. If millions of users paid even £1 surely it would reduce the need for clickbait and keep this a safe place? I think when you register they should now ask, are you happy we may share this on any platform?

I get legally they can do what they like if you post on a public forum, but morally it isn't what the site is supposed to be about. Those bleating 'well don't post then', clearly haven't had to post about a serious issue never mind one that has been reported in MSM.

To find MN posts you either need to be on the site or have googled a particular issue, not have it pop up in your newsfeed...unless daily rags who apparently everyone despises, but are still happy for MN to do it.