Username search not allowed now

[CarefreeMe]

I believe I’ve just had a thread deleted by accident (sorry!!!) as myself and another poster recognised the username and mentioned something in her previous thread.

MNHQ deleted the thread as they said doxxing is against the talk guidelines.

Is this a new thing?
As I wasn’t aware of it and assumed that’s why you could search usernames.

Sorry to the OP who started the thread, although her thread was very misleading and completely different to her other ones, which is going to affect posters advice.

It just makes the forum a joke at the end as you can’t end up trusting really what the op is saying. I told her she had problems with the husband not with the other person. If she had been clear since the beginning the advice she’d have received would have been massively different

If she had been clear since the beginning the advice she’d have received would have been massively different

Yes exactly.

I don’t understand asking for advice if you’re going to lie about the situation as you’re going to end up with advice that’s not relevant.

I loathe it when people bring up previous threads. It makes them look really sad and pathetic tbh. This is an anonymous forum so people are likely to change details a bit to avoid being ‘outed’ but then they may forget what they said previously. People who refer to previous threads berating others and saying ‘but you said this’ were probably the tell tales at school 🙄 🙄

Don't forget that MN are putting that 'similar threads' thing at the end of all threads now. So in fact they are in huge danger of "doxxing" (but not actually doxxing obvs, just the New MN Version™ rather than actually outing an internet poster's real life name and details) these trolling/factually challenged posters themselves.

Get a grip MN.

So you’d rather being lied and don’t tell the things as they are or wouldn’t mind being reported to your HR for harassment just because someone in a forum told a story that wasn’t true

no I wasn’t telling tales in the school but I don’t like being thought as a fool

I loathe it when people bring up previous threads. It makes them look really sad and pathetic tbh. This is an anonymous forum so people are likely to change details a bit to avoid being ‘outed’ but then they may forget what they said previously. People who refer to previous threads berating others and saying ‘but you said this’ were probably the tell tales at school

@TinkyWinkyRainbowHead

There’s a massive difference between changing slight details so it doesn’t out you and completely lying.

Obviously you are a poster who does this regularly which is your choice but most of us like to give advice based on the OP’s situation.

Being a troll or lying about your situation is ridiculous, as not only does it waste everyone’s time but it also means the OP doesn’t get any advice for their circumstances.
So what’s the point.

If someone feels the need to create a fake thread then they obviously have issues or nothing better to do and I don’t think it’s fair that posters reply with good intentions, often sharing their own experiences and then you find out it was all BS.

At the same time, if people are e.g. Chasing the goose, by being given x version when based on previous thread it was y version, could it be argued that it does take the biscuit when people invest time and effort into the threads only to be given the run around ?

I agree so much. People are far too invested imo. It’s the internet, who cares if people want to bend their truth for whatever reason. It’s really not the end of the world

1000%!

It's just trolling if one day you're a 45 year old married mum of three and the next a 21 year old still living at home having problems with her parents.

I thought making up drama for froth wasn't allowed?

People generally look up posting history for the purposes of finding discrepancies or incongruence, like some kind of gotcha.
It is weird and creepy.
Why not just take people at face value and decide whether to engage or not on that basis?

Because you read x person saying a, e.g. Day one, then day 20 they have completely changed the original details and saying it's now x, so it's takes the pickles when people try to give advice but get mixed cover stories

I agree so much. People are far too invested imo. It’s the internet, who cares if people want to bend their truth for whatever reason. It’s really not the end of the world

That’s fine if you go around bending the truth like it’s normal but my standards are higher.

yesterday the op was recommended to report the third person for harassment to the company her partner worked this is a really dangerous thing to say to someone that can’t be trusted as they’re lying. Someone else’s life could have been ruined because a mumsneter had marriage problems. If my boring life saves these third persons life then I’m happy.

@EasterIssland
I'm with you - there was much braying on that deleted thread about the "OW"
The misogyny was palpable, certain responses were bad tempered.

Besides, the "old" thread which some of us referenced was only two weeks old or so

It's hardly troll hunting or weird or creepy to remember and then look at a poster's earlier thread from the same month

Lol weird response, you’re definitely one of those people who are way too invested on this site. I don’t bend the truth as I hardly post on here but you speak as if everyone on here has agreed to tell the full truth and nothing but the truth. It’s the internet and anyone has access to this site. There’ll be posters who never post. Posters who post their whole life story and their may be posters who post one thing and then decide to change certain information for whatever reason.

You’re expecting way too much from people you don’t know at all. Maybe lower your standards then you wouldn’t be so bothered by a random stranger chatting shit about their own life?

Urgh. I hate this.

There are reams of people on here who talk shit & give inconsistent stories, they get called on it and its a good thing, stops other mn users wasting time posting on threads where the advice is essentially irrelevant.

Whoever wrote that deletion message does not understand what doxing means.

I know the thread you are referring to OP - the story had fundamentally opposed claims about the DH and the “Trollop” leaving sultry voice notes. The trollop had people rooting against her like they were saving the OP and her happy marriage (which 2 weeks ago was awful and the work colleague hadn’t done anything wrong but the DH had, had previously cheated and the marriage was rocky, he had form etc).
Its silly to get bothered by it and these days I don’t even bother pointing it out but I agree that there’s no reason to delete the thread or your post based on you pointing out an observation..

You’re expecting way too much from people you don’t know at all. Maybe lower your standards then you wouldn’t be so bothered by a random stranger chatting shit about their own life?

Why would I lower my standards?

You obviously lie a lot in real life which is why it doesn’t bother you but for the majority of us we don’t lie and lying about your personal circumstances is a shitty thing to do, when there’s no need to do it and people spend their time giving advice to someone who they think really needs it.

The thread that I was referring to was silly as the OP wouldn’t have got the advice she was after but some OPs ‘bend the truth’ about DV, child abuse and other disturbing things and so yes it does bother me and you’re in the minority for the fact it doesn’t bother you.

Hang on a sec. What Lilymumsnet posted is completely utterly different to what OP was posting. Incomparable.

The reason that I occasionally advance search is that growing feeling that what the OP is saying makes no sense at all given her alleged position. Also strange short responses that ignore almost all the replies, for example. Whilst it is true that abused women sometimes have a very warped view of reality as a result of years of deliberate gaslighting by abusive partners, the sort of wrongness that marks out these serial fantasists is quite different.

An advanced search often reveals the same pattern of weirdness over a number of different scenarios. I suppose it is an OP desperate for attention or validation, and reinventing themselves in order to get a certain type of attention. I don't know, but I am damned if I am going to be personally used to bolster some neurotic, compulsive, maladaptive-daydreaming & disordered OP.

I agree. The bias against the supposed 'other woman' was very unpleasant to read. I think it would have been very useful for people to have seen the previous thread and been forced to review their assumptions.

I obviously lie a lot in real life? Because I’m not surprised that random strangers will come on the internet and lie about things? Okay then