Request for tighter moderation and a supportive attitude.

[Ijsbear]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4357937-To-really-strongly-dislike-my-autistic-child

This woman is utterly at the end of her tether. Some posters and posts tip over into cruelty.

Mumsnet, AIBU is a bearpit but threads and posts are sometimes created by women in real distress and the unkind posters are going to make things worse, for women in dire need of help and support.

please, please tighten up moderation.

how much per month would you pay for mumsnet? because further moderation would need paying for somehow?

A change in policy doesn't need paying for.

The sum total of the early posts on that thread have been allowed to stand which has to be a kick in the face for the OP when she started reading, especially because she came here for support and is absolutely ground down. It's harder to take rough speaking when you've nothing left. Mumsnet is supposed to be supportive.

Removing some of those posts and imposing a temporary ban on the posters would help get the message across.

Hi, thank you for the feedback. We agree that many posts on that thread were beyond the pale and absolutely not what Mumsnet is about. We removed a number of posts and we did contact posters off the board and issued suspensions. We're post-moderated which means we rely on reports to bring our attention to posts, so if there are any further posts on that thread, or any thread, we should take a look at, please do report them to us. We always look and take action where necessary.

@ClaraMumsnet

Hi, thank you for the feedback. We agree that many posts on that thread were beyond the pale and absolutely not what Mumsnet is about. We removed a number of posts and we did contact posters off the board and issue suspensions. We're post-moderated which means we rely on reports to bring our attention to posts, so if there are any further posts on that thread, or any thread, we should take a look at, please do report them to us. We always look and take action where necessary.

are we STILL saying 'beyond the pale' in this day and age?

Thank you for that clarification Clara. That thread was unsettling in its nastiness, it's good to hear that some posters won't be able to do that again for a while.

Poor OP.

@gardeninggirl68
Pale in this idiom comes from Latin pālus 'stake'; it means a fencepost, and by ordinary extension it also means the fence itselt, and the area it contains or delimits. So beyond the pale just means "outside the boundaries".

But back to actual point of @Ijsbear s thread.
That thread was a disgrace with the first lot of posters almost gleefully hammering the op, no support and just showing off if you can say that how superior they were. Vile.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3412600-To-think-that-if-you-re-told-a-phrase-is-offensive-you-don-t-insist-on-using-it

I've not insisted on using it? I've just said the definition of it?

Yikes at beyond the pale.

I report and always feel guilty when I do - seems like telling tales.

Gardening, if your main concern is policing the language of MNHQ, rather than the OP which is about a woman clearly in distress, then I think you’ve rather missed the point.

That thread has some real nastiness, but with support in between. I fully believe there are a whole bundle of posters that solely trawl AIBU to be horrible, have no compassion present at all, and do all that as entertainment. Would be better all round just renaming that board to Bearpit and Bunfights or something, to at least warn off vulnerable posters.