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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Mumsnet and Government autism strategy

7 replies

Scautish · 12/08/2021 17:07

Given the recently announced government’s National strategy on autism, I wondered if @MNHQ will be doing anything to tackle the ignorance, prejudice and ableism directed at autistic people here, particularly at autistic adults without learning difficulties (eg those who are/would have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome)?

One of the key areas they want to tackle is autism awareness and understanding (see below). Given the prevalence of ill-informed and ableist views expressed about autistic people, particularly the odious “support threads” for those married to “someone with Asperger’s” - the thread title being horrific enough in its own aside from the ableist narrative - I wondered if MN were perhaps going to consider how they allow autistic people to be discussed on here?

Almost every single day on MN someone equates abusive behaviour with autism or uses extremely unhelpful phrases such as “mild autism” (which doesn’t exists). This is extremely damaging as it perpetuates inaccurate stereotypes.

MN has an opportunity to contribute in a really helpful way - to both autistic posters and parents of autistic children - in helping society understand us more and make life a little bit easier for the next generation.

Would love to hear MN’s thoughts.

From report:

Improving understanding and acceptance of autism within society

We will significantly improve the public’s understanding and acceptance of autism, and show that autistic people feel more included and accepted in their communities. We also want the public to understand how autism can affect people differently, including the difference in how autistic women and girls present, and to help change people’s behaviour towards autistic people and their families. We want many more businesses, public sector services and different parts of the transport system to become more autism-inclusive, so that autistic people can access these spaces and services, just like everyone else.

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HebeMumsnet · 13/08/2021 09:31

Morning, Scautish,

Thanks for letting us know about this. We'll pass this upwards and have a discussion about what might be possible here. As you probably know, we do already make deleting anything disablist a priority, but there's certainly always more that can be done.

We'll pass the national strategy document on to our campaigns team, too.

In the meantime, if you or anyone else, has any suggestions of things that may help, please share them here and we'll keep reading.

Scautish · 13/08/2021 10:17

That would be great - but given that MN is happy to accept threads where the title implies that autistic adults are always going to be problematic in relationships - I’m not very hopeful.

I think the first step is recognising what actually is ableist in the first instance. Is it ok for someone to diagnose their partner as autistic (based on inaccurate stereotypes they have read on MN) and then attribute the abusive behaviour to autism? Because currently MN doesn’t see that as a problem.

No empathy, gaslighting, lying, coercive control - all of these behaviours have been allocated to autism and are allowed to stand. So I think we have a different idea of what is ableist and what is not!

(And there is currently a thread about an angry abusive husband and of course the armchair psychologists are out shouting “Asperger’s!!” - because they feel empowered to as it’s the norm on MN. This is what you need to challenge)

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cariadlet · 13/08/2021 10:27

I haven't ever bothered opening the support threads for people married to someone with autism but I'm not opposed in principal to their existence.

I'm autistic (would have been Aspergers if I'd been diagnosed earlier) and I know that aspects of my autism do make me hard to live with sometimes.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 13/08/2021 10:31

I've often thought there should be a 'Support thread for autistic people with bloody awful NT partners', but I suspect that would last about two minutes.

Scautish · 13/08/2021 10:44

@cariadlet

I agree the principle of a support thread is fine but in this case (1) it is not support to help with the relationship, it’s predominant theme is to berate their partners and in most cases plan to leave (2) the majority of partners are undiagnosed (3) the default stance is that all the problems are down to autism and (4) inaccurate stereotypes are used as the basis for diagnosis; lack of empathy, coercive/controlling behaviour.

And yes perhaps our behaviours at times can be problematic, but in my case I have suffered greatly from the behaviour of neurotypical people; bullying, criticising, ostracising etc. I think it’s very unhelpful to put the blame solely at our feet when the problem is two fundamentally different ways of thinking. Hence the importance of a mindset shift - to avoid us continually being misunderstood and talked about in negative ways.

(And to clarify, I’m very aware that a person can be abusive irrespective of whether they are NT or ND - and ANY abused partner should be able to get support)

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cariadlet · 13/08/2021 11:05

@Scautish Thanks for the clarification. That sounds very unpleasant and I can understand why you wrote your op with that in mind.

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