Posters getting their thread removed because of 'privacy concerns.' [hmm]

[littlepattilou]

This is just getting on my bloody nerves now.

I just constructed a helpful, (albeit slightly lengthy) post to put on a particular thread (on AIBU,) and I took about 20 minutes to construct the post, and did the 'preview post' thing to check for typos, and the thread had been deleted! It was only put up there at 12.05pm!

Whether the OP didn't like the responses she got I don't know, but this is genuinely pissing me off now, and is making me feel like I can't be arsed to bother posting any response, unless it just takes a minute or two to type out!

If I have a ream of helpful advice and information, why should I bother typing it all out, when there's a risk that the OP will tell mumsnet to delete the thread, before I can submit my post?!

Why does this keep happening ?!!!

Why bother posting a thread on here - and they are often lengthy original posts - just to tell mumsnet to delete it an hour after you posted it! And it's always 'privacy concerns!'

Even the posters who managed to actually post their response before the thread was deleted have wasted their time.

As I say, at this rate, people are just not going to bother posting anything that takes longer than a minute to type out! Why bother, when there's a risk that the thread may go 'poooof' anyway!

In the past I posted about my ex cheating and subsequent awful breakup, mumsnet was amazing for support in the wee small hours. However I'd then panic that my ex and the ow had seen my posts, so i asked for them to be deleted. Not sure how rational my panic was but I was grateful mumsnet acted quickly.

So I completely understand when threads are deleted.

@MichelleScarn

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hi @lilymumsnet could l get a heads up on my post deletion so l can know what guideline I've broken? Not received any email to advise. Thanks

Yes I think there are some genuine reasons for wanting a thread deleted, but sometimes it seems to be just because the OP didn't like the responses.

The one with the sister who died seemed genuine and I get why she wanted it gone, but nevertheless, it was a bit annoying when so many people (including me) had spent so much time composing helpful and compassionate messages.

Imo "OP has privacy concerns" usually equals "OP got in a snit that everyone didn't agree with her, so we'll take it down to soothe the tantrums". There's the genuine cases out there as well of course, I wouldn't take that away from them.

I agree OP, it can be so irritating.

It felt like 'did she even READ half these messages?'

Was there any point in people spending time posting what they did? All those messages of help and support, just 'poooof' into the ether, never to be seen again. Some were long and heartwarming and you could see people had put a lot of effort into them.

@SionnachRua

Imo "OP has privacy concerns" usually equals "OP got in a snit that everyone didn't agree with her, so we'll take it down to soothe the tantrums". There's the genuine cases out there as well of course, I wouldn't take that away from them.

I agree OP, it can be so irritating.

Thank you. And I agree somewhat. As I said, there are some genuine ones, but some are not... IMO.

I posted on the thread a couple of days ago where the op had her performance sneezing sister staying with her. Does anyone know why that was deleted?

Given that the OP whose sister had died mentioned the very unusual cause of death and the exact timing of it, I do think that made her extremely identifiable. There would be many people who don't even know her very well (or who only know a family member) who could cause havoc after reading that thread.

If ever an OP was potentially identifying (either of the OP or her cousin) that one would be right up there. I think it's absolutely fair that MN deleted it.

@3beesinmybonnet

I posted on the thread a couple of days ago where the op had her performance sneezing sister staying with her. Does anyone know why that was deleted?

No idea. All the deletion message said was they had 'some concerns.'

Didn't say whether it was a troll, a previously banned poster, or bullshit/not matching up with previous posts...or whatever. No information at all.

Weird!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4259288-Sisters-screaming-OTT-sneezes?msgid=107830840#107830840

That was ANOTHER one that I posted on, and the thread was deleted within about 10 minutes.

According to this thread though, it happens to others too. Glad it's not just me!

I agree!

However, I have seen so many threads where the OP has clearly kept it vague to avoid being outed then further details have been drawn out over the course of the thread. In those situations I would definitely look back at the thread and all the additional info given in response to questions and think "oh no, this is definitely more outing now" and possibly ask for it to be pulled.

@littlepattilou
Thanks. As a loud, but definitely non-performance sneezer I really was genuinely interested in this thread. Honestly it puts me off posting in the future.

[quote 3beesinmybonnet]@littlepattilou
Thanks. As a loud, but definitely non-performance sneezer I really was genuinely interested in this thread. Honestly it puts me off posting in the future.[/quote]
I am feeling like this a bit this week. I have posted on about half a dozen threads this week that have been deleted within 10 minutes of me posting, OR as I am composing a response. This week, I really feel like I am wasting my time.

I don't want to not post as I like it here, and I enjoy posting and engaging with people. But I am slowly being put off composing long posts. I mean the ones where I am being helpful, providing information, and examples of people I know who are suffering the same, and places to contact for help. And a few anecdotes, some compassion and some empathy.

A few posts have taken half an hour to compose - and to have the thread go pooof, and my post go with it is just a bit of a kick in the teeth. I have thought several times this week 'why do I bother?'

I said earlier in the thread that it doesn't happen often, but this week it HAS happened a few times. Very annoying.

To be fair, when people don't give out much detail, other posters nag and nag and nag them to do so. It's those posters that are ultimately responsible when the OP gives in, and then has to ask for the deletion.

Why people can't respect someone else being careful about how much they divulge, I don't know. It's the whole 'someone else's problem being my entertainment/soap opera' thing.

Ultimately everything we do in life is a waste of time that will disappear into meaningless nothingness sooner or later so I wouldn't get upset about a few posts being deleted.

@saraclara

To be fair, when people don't give out much detail, other posters nag and nag and nag them to do so. It's those posters that are ultimately responsible when the OP gives in, and then has to ask for the deletion.

Why people can't respect someone else being careful about how much they divulge, I don't know. It's the whole 'someone else's problem being my entertainment/soap opera' thing.

There are LOTS of people on this site who demonstrate time and again that they do not understand jigsaw identification, or even what 'identifiable' means.

I think the "we have some concerns so we're taking a look behind the scenes" is quite disingenuous. Do we ever get an outcome of, "It's all ok, here's the thread back" or "We were right, this was a troll/PBP"?