Why do MNHQ allow the "how old do I look?" threads

[Lockheart]

I'm sure some of them are harmless, but in some there are obvious mental health issues at play with people seeking constant validation over multiple threads, and this is without taking into consideration the fact that the OP may not be the person in the photos at all and is just using it as another way to bully or harrass them by asking strangers to critique unflattering photos of their victims.

You can't really say they're of value or provide an interesting discussion (almost invariably they descend into nastiness), and given the questionable motives for posting them I can't understand why they're allowed.

Is this something MNHQ might be willing to consider further in future? I know we've had a bit of a rash of these kinds of threads over the last few months.

You can't really say they're of value or provide an interesting discussion

That applies to over 90% of threads.

What other topics/questions don't meet your standard of appropriateness?

@SoupDragon

You can't really say they're of value or provide an interesting discussion

That applies to over 90% of threads.

What other topics/questions don't meet your standard of appropriateness?

I agree, but 90% of other threads don't carry the risk that it's someone plastering a different persons pictures on the internet for others to criticise (which is what always happens on these threads).

It's all about a cost-benefit analysis. These threads have no benefit but have a large number of risks (IMO). Other threads have no benefit but they don't hurt anyone. Surely that should be obvious?

I never thought about it being someone else in the photo😥 . That would be an awful thing to do. There have been occasional funny ones with a cat and an old witchy character
.
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I find them irritating, so just hide them. The ones I've seen the OP takes forever to come back and actually say, and it just seems like a huge fishing for compliments exercise.
They should do what they used to do on that Ten Years Younger programme-stand in the street and ask people.

I don't find them irritating, I just think they're more than likely to either be feeding into someone's insecurities / mental health issues or used to troll an innocent person whose pictures have been posted on the thread without their permission.

@DogsSausages

I never thought about it being someone else in the photo😥 . That would be an awful thing to do. There have been occasional funny ones with a cat and an old witchy character . .

Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

I could post a thread with pictures of my ex's new girlfriend asking if I'm pretty, that doesn't mean I am my ex's new girlfriend.

I think they should keep them for the fantastic eyebrow photoshop efforts and prose on being able to tell someone’s occupation by their eyeballs

If we're being honest, I think some people love these because they get off on making the OP feel like absolute shit about her appearance. They're the same people who say things like 'you're younger than me but you look 50 years older.' Sure. 🙄

They are just pointless. Who cares how old randoms on the internet think you look?

That said I don't see that many of them-are they all in a topic I've hidden? Was there one today that has made you ask OP?

Agree that it often seems like feeding insecurities and fueling a mental health issues rather than actually benefiting anyone. I am often surprised by how vulnerable people make themselves online - not only inviting very personal comments from total strangers, but sticking their photo and lots of personal details out there for anyone to find. It wouldn't take much effort to fully identify some people and connect them to other aspects of their lives like children's school, workplace etc. MN could say in the interests of protecting all users, we won't allow pictures that show faces, or something along those lines.

Ohai Sparklers
They're in S and B with both having previous wrt putting up photos purportedly of themselves.
I did tell the one to tidy her bootroom, awful state it was in. #bossy

@FlibbertyGiblets

Ohai Sparklers They're in S and B with both having previous wrt putting up photos purportedly of themselves. I did tell the one to tidy her bootroom, awful state it was in. #bossy

Ah Style and Beauty-I have that hidden. Bit of an odd place to post about age-I thought it was more 'what do you think of this dress?' with the head cut off. I always wonder if people know how to clean their mirrors/check the background before taking a selfie.

I completely agree @Lockheart I also wonder if it's the actual person in the photo too. IMO, no-one in their right mind would post their OWN PHOTO on mumsnet, (a massively popular message forum that 10s of 1000s of people post on every day, and 100s of 1000s of people read,) asking people how old she looks.

If anyone genuinely does it, it can only be for one reason (IMO.) And that is because they think they look younger than their actual age. Some people think that, and claim that everyone they meet thinks they look MUCH younger than their age. Funny how no-one ever says people say they look much OLDER.

In reality, the vast majority of people look their age (within 6 or 7 years in either direction.) No-one looks any younger than that, not when you look at them properly. They may look 12-15 years younger at first glance, if they have 'trendy' clothes and a trendy hairstyle, (ie, are dressed more like someone 15-20 years younger,) but when you look properly, they look much closer to their actual age.

I have known people ask others to guess their age in real life, and if they are 43, and someone says 'early 40s?' they either get sniffy and offended, because everyone else thinks they look 26! OR they laugh and say 'no, don't be daft, come on, how old do you REALLY think I look?' Because they find it unfathomable that someone doesn't think they look 14-15 years younger.

I also have no idea why 'how old do I look' is an AIBU either.

Same as the ghastly 'am I pregnant?' threads, where the OP posts a photo of a negative pregnancy test. What makes me roll my eyes on THOSE, is the amount of posters who say 'I see a second line! Congratulations OP!'

Also the 'am I pregnant' threads have no business being on AIBU either.

YES clean your farking mirror too, people!

Hello @Lockheart we do understand the concerns about these threads and in many cases, we end up deleting them because either the OP had second thoughts or because they go downhill fast. We don't like to issue blanket bans on things, but if we thought that the OP was vulnerable or if they were a troll, we would take the thread down. As always, we would strongly advise people to consider their privacy when posting online.

@FlibbertyGiblets

YES clean your farking mirror too, people!

I can recommend the Method Glass cleaner.

I think they should only be allowed to stand if the OP can provide verification, like holding a piece of paper with their username and the date written on it. Handwritten of course, not scribbled on in Paint.

It's far too easy for a hairy handed one to take photos off social media and then sit back and watch MNers insult and degrade the person in the pictures. Which is what always happens in those threads, it just descends in to who can be the cruelest.

They are really cringe and many’s re pathetic attempts at validation seeking etc but I’m not sure how plausible it is to ban anyone from posting them. You don’t have to look at them. Too much censoring these days as it is. If you don’t like something, don’t go looking for it.