Including SN threads in active convos

[Freckle]

I still can't get SN to show up in active convos. I haven't excluded the topic but can't find anyway to have it included. Any ideas Tech?

So are you saying we're not allowed to post the reality of our life if a child's needs are severe because it makes everyone else feel unworthy? How ridiculous. I think you're projecting a bit there tbh. Anyone can post on SN. I personally tend to only answer ones I have something to contribute to which tends to be issues surrounding SLD schools as that's where my experience lies. Doesn't mean I sit there muttering about the other posters.

I do feel sorry for mm22bys for being jumped on from a great height for expressing an entirely normal feeling. With time those feelings become fleeting and less common, but why drag her across hot coals for expressing something that probably every single person in her situation has felt at some time.

no yurt I absolutely DID NOT say that, that's completely the wrong end of the stick

I said that to point out other people's worries as not worthy of concern gives the impression that lesser worries are not, well, worthy of concern

everyone's problems should be treated with the same respect

yurt to give an example

after dd's original diagnosis I wandered round town in shock looking at other children in prams, thinking "your baby is fine, why isn't mine?" and feeling generally very resentful

I remember looking at one girl in a pushchair with really pretty hair and a purple top

I bumped into her and her mum later at a CDC event and it turned out that she was not 'fine' at all, she had far more problems than my dd did

you can think these things but you can also be aware that they can come back and bite you on the ass. Who is to say when a worry is valid or not?

she wasn't saying that.

Andf you are VERY unfair to say that you would not have got any support on the SN board. `People spend a lot of time giving support to people personally. I know I have repeatedly given advice on here to people with non talking 2 year olds for example. Even though probably 90-% of them will be talking by the time they're . I spend a lot of time reasuring them that their child WON'T be like ds1 (because that's the reassurance they want).There isn't some sort of competition that people have to pass but as soon as someone says that actually they're feeling a bit ugly about things at the moment they're jumped on.

xposted with fio

can there not be two boards?

can there be a Special Needs - for our eyes only board that you need to opt into, and a Special Needs general board that acts the same as any other board, Active Convos-wise?

so that people who want to post in private can, and those who would appreciate a wider view can also do that?

there would need to be no passwords etc which caused the controversy before?

Some of the most useful things I learned early on was that it's OK to feel like you've been shat on, it's OK to feel resentful, it's OK to feel jealous of people who have children who are fine, it;s OK to want to never talk to someone again if they have the sensitivity of a brick. Eventually I found RL people to run the bad feelings past, but intially it was online as I didn't know anyone else in my situation. That's why if you want SN to be a support board you have to be able to let people say the horrible stuff as well. Whether it about their kids with SN, or the people around them. If such a mildly mistaken statement (and goodness Ive heard a lot worse in RL) gets such a strng response, what message does that send out. You're only allowed to post if you're absolutely fine and happy and completely coping and that you must be really bad if you ever feel just and incy bit miffed at the hand you've been dealt?

There is a password protected board already. I hope the previous OP joins it because I suspect she might need it.

but you get two 'waves' of posts ime

you get people who see it straight away and people who come later because they look at that topic in particular

so posting in 'parenting' wouldn't have the same effect

someone once suggested to me that because I posted on SN wanting poeple to cheer me up with a joke, I should have posted in chat because it wasn't just SN-related

but that was the problem - some of the non-SN board posters knew the best jokes, but only the SN people who saw the thread later understood why I was upset

2shoes has recently posted a reminder about how to contact her and get referred to the password-protected board.

LOL, Fio!

So keep it in active convos if its such a problem (I don't care who reads it personally), but do allow people to be a little bit bitter and twisted every now and then if they're having a really shit day perhaps and have had enough of the 'normal' world for a while. And don't tell them they're not being fair for wallowing in it a little whilst they're coming to terms with their child having a severe (or hell even not so severe) disability. It can take years & years.

Bloody hell I've been in it years now and I still have my bitter and twisted moments. Had a weekend of it, fuelled by the utter failure at the attempt of ONE normal family outing (don't know what I was thinking of dh said it wouldn't work, I told him it was worth giving it a go and was left feeling more shit than if we hadn't tried at all).

Luckily I now have RL people I can contact to rant about such events (but they're not as upsetting as they used to be anyway).

Sorry the family outing was such a debacle, yurt.

I haven't got SN in active convos. I've excluded it and included it again but it's not there. Help?