Deleted Threads AGAIN - spurious excuses

[spongedog]

Posted helpfully on a thread the other day. There might have been 10-12 posts in total. I was tagged, so logged on to find this deletion message

"Thread deleted

Message from MNHQ: Thanks to all who have posted with help and advice so far. The OP has had second thoughts about this thread - it's a little sensitive and contains a fair amount of identifying info. We've agreed to take it down now."

Mumsnet - I am done. I thoughtfully took time to support one of your users for free, my time, no cost to you. This excuse about "identifying" is just rubbish. Poster was a little bit hysterical, over the top, but with only 10-12 posts - there is no way that thread was ever going to be identifying. I can no longer spend my time, emotional energy and effort supporting users on a site, where, on a whim, that thread will be pulled.

I dont even get to keep my comments - they were thoughtful, hopefully helpful. You know that many of us believe our comments should stand so they are useful to future users. Surely that is the whole point of nicknames - users remain anonymous.

I get deletions for PBP, trolls etc. Thank you for those deletions. But not this.

Users who start threads and then get nervous about it for whatever reason should be able to ask for their threads to be deleted.

Would it be simpler if the policy was that the OP could always have the thread deleted? That way other posters could only give their time if they had it to spare.

You shouldn’t give more than you can afford to an anonymous online forum.

On the face of it "I called the police because I saw my neighbor invite 20 people who all sat in their front room AIBU" doesn't look identifying.

If the person posting then realized their neighbor was a MN user who might see that post, then search and scroll through all of their past posts to work out who they are relatively easily, it shouldn't really matter what judgement is made as to why they'd want the post deleted. They just wanted it deleted.

But you did support the OP - he/she just wanted it pulled - they did get a chance to read the advice - you had the choice to use your time to give the advice - although it’s not there forever perhaps it was just what was needed.

Well, posting on the site is at no cost to you either is it? You post here voluntarily.

i do wonder if perhaps there should be a warning at the top of boards saying to be careful what information you include in a thread lest it be identifying, that way hopefully most would think twice before posting or would ensure they were more careful in what they posted.

And tbh it’s a bit vain to think that your comments should stand because they were so useful. It’s unlikely that a poster is going to search through hundreds of threads for useful comments when it’s quicker to start one of their own.

You need to consider that when you post a comment, that comment is likely to be confined to the thread it’s on only.

It's an anonymous internet site. Always amuses me when posters think their contributions are so important.

It sounds like leaving mumsnet is the best thing for your mental health if threads being deleted has this effect on you.

Hi @spongedog,

Thanks for raising this.

We completely understand how frustrating it can be when a thread is pulled, especially when you've taken the time and energy to support the OP.

Please know that we never do this lightly, and we always try to find other options first if someone asks us to remove a thread - we'll offer a retrospective name change, or editing out any identifying details, or moving the thread to our 30 days only topic, for example.

However, we're here to make parents' lives easier - so if an OP gets in touch because they hugely regret posting a thread, or is anxious that the specific details they've posted could make them recognisable, or if the thread is causing them problems in real life, we'll always do what we can to help them out. And sometimes that will mean deleting their thread.

Obviously it's unfortunate that helpful responses to a thread will also then disappear, but in most cases the OP will have taken these responses on board (and is very grateful for them).

We hope that explains our position, but we'll happily answer any other concerns you have. And if you'd like us to send you a copy of your post on the thread in question, please drop us a line at [email protected].

I can see both sides of this.

I completely agree it's totally frustrating when this happens. And sometimes it feels like the OP claims 'privacy' when in fact they've had a robust response which is not to their liking...

However I have previously had a thread deleted. Many years ago now, under a completely different profile. DH had gone out drinking and gone AWOL. I was posting for advice and as the night went on, was so upset I ended up posting huge amounts of detail which made it fairly obvious who I was. I would never normally share that level of information but when you panic then logic and consequences tend to fly out of the window. DH turned up (suitably shamefaced!). I posted an update and also explained that I'd be asking for the thread to be deleted and the reasons why. Everyone who had very kindly posted was very understanding.

So, like I say, I can see both sides.

Users who start threads and then get nervous about it for whatever reason should be able to ask for their threads to be deleted

I agree.

I strongly believe that an OP should be able to delete their thread at any time for any reason. In fact I wish there was a delete button.

I too have asked for a couple of threads to be deleted, many many years ago. It was for the best.

I'll never forget a thread I started on here a few years ago. I got absolutely roasted and it was so so nasty. I begged MNet to delete it and they refused. In the end I was so desperate for it to be pulled I was deliberately rude back so it escalated enough to be deleted.