We don't allow threads like this

[JaneJeffer]

Since when did this rule happen?

I hope she’s okay

We’re all human and it’s our instinct to want to help as much as possible but we must consider that a poster may be better off seeking (sometimes urgent) professional help

You advised her to contact the very service she had stated had hung up on her when she reached out to them

Thanks Becky. I agree that any thread where a poster has expressed an intent to or discussed methods to end their life should be deleted but this wasn't one of those and I'm glad you could see that.

@icannotremember we always signpost people to the Samaritans in deletion messages but, yes, in this case, it wasn't helpful to do that - we're discussing this today so it won't happen in future. FWIW in our mail to the OP we did provide details of other orgs too.

@AdachiOljulo

Whilst the principle of what you've said is right, this particular thread was nothing of that nature. Those of us that read it and saw the deletion message found it upsetting, most of all the poor OP. I'm glad MN have agreed that it should have been handled differently.

I think it's really important to remember that we will get new mums with PND on here and they may need a bit more generosity with letting their threads stand than other kinds of dramatic suicide threats. I think most people with PND get the feeling that their families and their baby will be better off without them, which is a symptom of their illness rather than a genuine wish to commit suicide.

Morning everyone, it was my thread. Thanks for your concern. I can understand the reasons that threads should be taken down but last night really felt like a kick in the teeth. Thanks again for your concern, it's always nice to know that someone cares.

Good morning amazedmummy, so glad to hear from you this morning I was about to post on your thread last night before it disappeared, my sister presented at A&E when she was feeling like you were last night, it got her the help she needed.

@amazedmummy

We do all care very much x

@TheBlueStocking I was saying I agree with the overall policy. As I said, I never saw the original thread this was about, so gave no opinion on it.

I'm glad you are OK @amazedmummy and hope that you are getting some good support away from the public internet.

Have read this thread with interest as something a little similar happened before Christmas .Again it was a thread where the poster was not discussing suicide .

It was discussed here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/3754134-talk-guidelines-for-threads-like-this?pg=1

and ,if anyone is interested ,they might want to look at this

www.nspa.org.uk/resources/supporting-online-communities-click-to-view-the-guidance/
The guidelines above suggest that someone at risk should be told to seek professional advice by ringing 111 ,calling GP for emergency out of hours appointment ,calling 999 or going to A&E.

The doc mentions several times the importance of moderators to let the community know what's going on without breaking confidentiality .

I think that's a very valid point. I think we should be telling people to seek professional assistance from a doctor rather than asking them to ring a helpline. The Samaritans have a role, but they can't do anything except listen. And obviously, it's just call takers so lines can get disconnected etc. 111 or 999 would ring you back.

I think MNHQ like to pretend they are listening and taking points on board but I don't think they are .

Our exchange in December had them saying

The main concern seems to be about the wording of our deletion message.

We do absolutely take your point that it sounds a bit 'bald', particularly on threads where an OP is having a really difficult time.

The wording of these posts we decided on with guidance from The Samaritans and Mind, as we felt that we simply weren't experts on the subject

Having read the guidelines from the NSPA which are "for online community moderators in responding to suicidal content" and " were developed after consultation with a huge range of stakeholders and were led by Mind"
www.nspa.org.uk/resources/supporting-online-communities-click-to-view-the-guidance/ they don't suggest anything like the response on MN.

MN also said While the term 'these sorts of threads' does sound odd, the alternative is to be clear about it and say 'threads about suicide' or 'threads about self harm', and we suspect we were advised to avoid those terms as they might be potentially triggering for someone already in a bad place but I'm sure they could come up with better wording .

Suggestions were made and and a promise to
run this past those professional organisations again when we next look at updating and checking all our processes with threads that mention suicide

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet. do you know when the looking and updating might take place ?

@peridito - thanks, it's something we're looking at in the coming weeks. Obviously, we need to consult with outside agencies as, as we've said before, we are far from the experts here. We'll report back as soon as we can.

Thanks for responding yetanotherBecky .