Deleting threads

[WhatsTheStoryToday]

Can you please stop deleting threads of spurious “privacy” reasons ?!

At any given time 50% of my active threads are deleted and most of these at the posters request - it’s making following threads really difficult

Hello, @WhatsTheStoryToday.

We hear you - it's frustrating when threads you're following suddenly vanish. Tbh, we generally try to avoid removing entire threads for this very reason - we don't think it's fair on folk who've taken the time to add their thoughts to a discussion.

That said, when we do make the decision to remove a thread for privacy reasons - whether it's at the OP's request or otherwise, we always have strong reasons to do so.

Hope that explains things a bit more from where we're standing and thanks for flagging it up.

Tbh it doesn’t really explain where you stand.

At any given time there are at least 2-3 deleted threads in my threads I’m on list. It’s really frustrating especially given that it’s invariably because the op has been handed their arse.

No one can be identified by the fact they live in a three bed semi, somewhere in the NW and have a cycling husband!

Not sure that your "I like watching people get slapped down" really overrides Mumsnet's duty of care for its user's privacy, tbh.

@SpoonBlender I’m quite clearly referring to cases where no such privacy reasons exist. The clue is in my use of the word “spurious” (you can look it up if you don’t know what it means )

And is further evidenced by my pointing out that the OP asks for their post to be deleted because they’ve been handed their arse not because they can be identified.

But congrats for proving that no matter what the thread there is always one on MN

There WAS one the other day, the one where the Mum was annoyed her Mum wouldn't look after her child one day a week, that was taken down, according to the deletion message from MNHQ purely at the OPs request

Yes the responses were overwhelmingly negative but there was no privacy concern and presumably OP wanted it down because she didn't like the responses

That sort of thing didn't use to be allowed so certainly I would agree with the general sentiment of this OP here.

Of the deleted threads, a fair proportion of them do seem to get the bullet because they are not getting the response the OP wanted. Surprising how many of that type of thread turn into a privacy concern when it was OK for the OP to post in the hope of getting agreement but when the YABU mount up, they have been identified

Sure, could be totally spurious. As PPs above, rather like hospital frequent flyers have learnt that mentioning chest pain gets an ambulance urgently, MNers have no doubt learnt that citing privacy issues gets their thread deleted.

In other cases, MN has a far better view of a poster's history and behaviour than you do, and you may simply be wrong. Also, don't be a condescending jerk.

Well said Spoon.

it’s making following threads really difficult

Why does it make following threads difficult? It's been deleted. No following necessary.

I roll my eyes at the "privacy concerns" reason but I don't see any point getting worked up about it. The thread has gone, I simply forget about it and move on. Why do you need it to remain?

@soupdragon

You’re right it doesn’t make threads hard to follow. That was a lazy and inaccurate comment following frustration at opening MN to find that 6 out of the 10 threads I was on had been deleted for privacy.

What I should have said is it undermines the MN user experience. Both because it is dismissive of the time and effort of posters who provide advice/support/guidance and it leads to lots of good information being permanently lost.

@SpoonBlender then perhaps don’t attribute an attitude to me that doesn’t exist 🤷‍♀️

I see the OP of a thread I ws on yesterday thread has succeeded in getting it deleted on privacy grounds. There is definitely an increasing tendency for threads to be deleted because the OP isn't getting the tesponse they were looking for.

I've asked for threads to be deleted for privacy reasons, always for very genuine reasons. An example would be the time I posted in utter desperation and despair about my DC's problems at school - some interfering witch recognised us (no identifying details of us or the school, she just knew about one of the incidents described via her DC) and emailed the entire thread to the school SLT. Huge gossip and ballache ensued, and I was VERY grateful to MNHQ for agreeing to delete it for damage limitation.

So - sorry if it spoils the flow of your soap consumption OP, but sometimes real people's lives are more important.

it's been going on for ages...MN never explain

They just patronise with the "there there, it's for PRIVACY reasons" and pretend the rest of us don't know it's because someone had a tantrum, it's a complete joke

and there's no doubt is IS getting more and more frequent as the OP says sometimes half of my TIO list or Watch list is just MIA.

I think it's far better that a few threads get deleted spuriously than one person gets caused distress or real harm by being identified in real life.

Of course it's irritating when someone flounces off to get a thread deleted when it doesn't go their way, but it's hardly the end of the world.

It doesn't irritate me per se that the threads are deleted. It irritates me that often an OP like the one yesterday will start bringing in privacy concerns when other posters challenge their motive in posting the thread in the first place, as happened yesterday. Especially when her updates become more and more bizarre in an obvious attempt to get the thread pulled. That's manipulative.

On that note can anyone tell me what happened to the birdie friend thread?

People having problems don't post for your entertainment though.

I had to ask for a couple of threads to be deleted because of the possible repercussions of them making the DM or getting back to the person I had a problem with.

I totally agree that it's frustrating when a post you take time to respond to disappears but even if it is just because the OP didn't get the answers they thought they would, it's their right to have the post removed, isn't it? This is people's lives here.

The OP of the thread I'm referring to wasn't having problems. I said it was a grubby and spiteful thread dressed up as faux concern and that certainly backfired on the OP. It was absolutely obvious that she wanted it deleted because it showed her in a negative light not for privacy reasons. I suppose I'm saying that it annoys me when unpleasant people try to run away from what they posted.

ilovesooty I didn't see that one but yes, I agree that some posts are taken down unnecessarily and it can get quite frustrating when it happens to a few you're following!

eeny i take on board what you said about people's problems. I wasn't frustrated that i couldn't follow the thread any more but was annoyed that someone can be disingenuous and spiteful then have any evidence of their behaviour deleted.

I don't think it's a good idea to be too specific about particular threads. This will get deleted as a TAAT and it's not fair to the OPs in question who don't have the chance to defend themselves here.

When I see a poster attempting to erase evidence of spite and unpleasantness I'm not concerned about their opportunity to defend themselves here.

There's a big difference between requesting deletion

On privacy grounds
Misjudging your thread and it descending into a bunfight
Attempting to erase evidence of your disengenuousness, dishonesty and spite.

The third is what has annoyed me. Cowardly and manipulative.

But realistically MNHQ, who have actually had the opportunity to speak to the OP as understood their privacy concerns, have chosen to delete the thread.

Your belief that the OP in question was trying to "erase evidence of spite and unpleasantness" is just that, a belief. It's not a fact, it might be total bollocks.

As I've said, I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt. All you've lost out on is a bit of entertainment, it may well effect someone's real life.

I thought I made it abundantly clear that my annoyance was nothing to do with entertainment.

My belief about the OP's motives and behaviour was shared by others.

If I'd been MNHQ I'd probably have deleted it too, given the difficulty of establishing whether the cited privacy concerns are real. They probably have far too much to do to justify much investigation.

However my belief that the OP's behaviour was spiteful, cowardly and dishonest isn't going to change and I think it's a shame that people can airbrush unpleasantness out of their posting history.