URGENT - WOULD YOU READ YOUR CHILD'S DIARIES? NEED YOUR THOUGHTS NOW.

[AbbyMumsnet]

Been asked to do a radio interview, discussing the topic of diaries and the quandary that parents might find themselves in if they read a child's diary and feel the need to bring up something they find in there. Obviously want to take account of trust issues etc. It's a general chat about parents concerns in this situation and some tips about what to do if you do read something you need to discuss... your thoughts? Need them quickly!

Yes, but only if I suspected something was awry - i.e. if a dc had suddenly turned withdrawn, aggressive etc.

Only if there was a suspicion to prompt it, of something that coukd be harmful to the child.
Not just trawling on the off chance or cos i couldn't be arsed to go out and buy Heat.

Good luck.

My first reaction was no, absolutely not but agree with Huw that if they were suddenly withdrawn etc I might not be able to help myself. Don't think you can discuss what you have found though. It's a massive breach of trust imho.

i thinks its ok if ur truly concerned about ur childs welfare ie: drug abuse, pregnancy, stealing, hanging round with a bad crowd. other than that no its wrong

You should never read a childs diary, its private and you wouldnt want them to read yours. If your concerned enough to think about reading their diary then you need to discuss concerns before sinking that low. Sorry, would have hated my mum or dad to read mine as a teenager.

L

afraid i prob would

if only mundane stuff then nothing to worry about

it might give you info about some important issues that need discussing

Try every way you can not to - if you are worried about withdrawn child etc, talk to friends, talk to friend's parents who your child might have confided in, try all these things first. My mother read my diary - never forgave her, and never trusted her. Really, really was a huge issue when I found out.

My mum read mine and it caused a huge row between us. I got over it.

No! My parents read my diary when I was 14, and actually quite a good kid. They brought up every thing I had written in there. At that age it took me a very very long time to forgive them.

Always try and be upfront with your children. Trust is so hard to earn!

Well, I got over it eventually, but it took a long long time, and in that time, many things I would have told my mother, such as about a boy I liked, or that I had got my first period, or about problems at school, I didn't tell her as I didn't think she "deserved" to know as she had already pryed into my private life. I'm a grown woman now and I realise that this was an overreaction - but since when have teenagers had rational reactions? I think you invade your children's privacy at your peril and it should be the last possible ever resort.

Thanks all - just done it. Would have been better with a bit more time to prepare!

yeah, but I wouldn't tell them I had unless it was something illegal going on in there.